In the deepest shade of maroon
The guitar was strumming and smoke was in the still air
The kind of air that only belonged to magnificent summer nights
Everyone was laughing
Passing around a bottle of red wine
Everyone mouths and hearts belonged to everyone
I think you should know that I believe in magic
Long blonde hair was messy in tangles
My Stomach was home to the beautiful knots
Flourished

Your mouth is a glass of apples

Street lights illuminates your tired eyes
Cigarette smoke envelopes us
Distorting our lies
the guitar in our hands
the only thing keeping us alive
we pass it around like a tired lover
In this concrete suburbia
Steal beams wrap themselves around our throats,
tonight we'll scream until angels hear our mournful serenade
and write letters to God demanding that he save us.
The susurration of these strings set us free
These leaves fall around our heads
making us remember the times they made us bleed
Silence is the only thing we fear tonight
We need to escape this cookie cutter prison
So we hit the pavement
driving into whatever gust pulls at us
Wind in my hair
breath in the trees
We streak down the street forgetting the definition of control
Tonight we'll leave an epic story of
Love and defeat.
The breeze drags us to your old home town
The one that beat you down then questioned why you bleed
We stopped at your old house looking up at the battered blinds
Dragging our feet in the midnight breeze we wander the town
and I listen to stories of bravery and deceit.
coming across the tea light battered gazebo in the middle of town
I spin underneath letting the world around me fade into a blur of faces and trees and light
It feels as though I've spiraled out of this destructive planet
into my own galaxy
One where no one can touch me and we can be free.
The hands of the night push me forward to a child's play structure
ripping me back into our stratosphere
I run to it letting myself be young again
forgetting the anxieties that plague my waking hours
I climb as fast as my arms will carry me swinging to the top
Laughter erupts from a place inside me i forgot exists
As I scream obscenities into the darkened sky
screaming to the stars like they give a ****
but I'll make them care
we are all born to die
but tonight oblivion wont find me
I'm crossing my name off of the tombstone.
Rickety swings call my name as I pump my tired legs
willing myself higher and higher until i feel as though I'll fall into the darkness above me and become one with the beauty around me.
That night I did not fear death
I did not fear that I would run out of time before I lived
But I know people who were not so lucky
At 3am we all snuck onto the elementary school grounds
that you went to for 7 years
to pay homage to a dead boy I never met.
Philip, I never met you
but you sounded so brilliant
and I’m sorry that light had to be snuffed out prematurely.
I’m sorry you never got to run around at midnight
with people who make you feel alive.
I’m so sorry you never got the chance to live like you were dying.
I decided that night to live for both of us.
I’ll explore this world
Wrap my experiences around this realm
So that way maybe when I join you in yours
You’ll be proud.
When we leave I smile
Tonight we are alive
I jump on a strangers back
riding off towards a sleepy city
And even when we tumble and stumble down
Pavement biting into our sides
I feel no pain
Just a rupture of color and light.
This world may drag us down
But it isnt the end
We sit on an old bench
trading stories of lost loves
and broken promises
Maybe this is a shout into the void
and maybe no one will hear this
But I AM ALIVE
WE ARE INFINITE
On the ride home we cranked up the stereo
Spinning out of control in turnarounds
sliding into each other
and when we get back
I know we all won’t forget this night.
We won’t forget each other.
We are tied together with a red thread
binding us for life.
Tonight we were eternity.

If I reach up to the sky, you think I'll grab it?
Can I have a piece or maybe even two?
If I succeed when I try, then can I have it?
If I get the sky, I'm giving it to you

When I try to cross the ocean, will I make it?
Or will my arms tire out and let me drown?
If I see a lifeboat there, will I dare take it?
Or would I simply let the whirlpool **** me down?

If I finally reach the sun, will I survive there?
Or incinerate and burn away to ash?
If I turned into fireworks nobody would care
I'd explode and then my guts would brightly flash

And if I prayed to God just once for his assistance
I'd hear the empty silence I'm used to
And yes, I've always questioned his existence
But as I've grown, I've seen what I know true

I've taken all the pieces hiding in this planet
And shaken them all up inside my head
I've taken all the good things here for granted
And written words that should be never read

"I'm so OCD"
OCD isn't a joke.
Washing your hands over and over again until your skin is raw isn't a joke.
Doing things that your brain tells you to do, regardless of what, isn't funny.
Not having control is not a joke.

"You look so anorexic."
Eating disorders are not a joke.
Refusing to eat until it kills you isn't a joke.
Throwing up over and over again to get a body that you will never be happy with isn't funny.
Being control by the one thing that makes you feel like you have control isn't a joke.

"That made me so depressed."
Chemical imbalances in the brain isn't a joke.
Wanting to do nothing all the time isn't funny.
Wanting to die all the time isn't a joke.

Stop making jokes about things you don't understand.

And if you are dealing with any eating or mental disorder, I am so proud of you for still being here and staying strong. I know how hard recovery is. You will overcome it.