The dog chewed
my Great Expectations,

of all the things to leave on the floor.

Not to say it's out of character

for me or the dog.

It's no surprise
that it happened.
Yet, I'm still left wondering:
What did I expect?

Always knew I was light.
Constantly running from prisms

thought I contained the spectrum
if I held on to everything.

Trying to shine new in the old light
till comparison shorted the whole thing.

All my past encounters now a mirror
each gathered around me.

You'd think I would see the truth. But
I'm only left wondering:

how I surrounded myself with so many
and why they are all strangers.

Refracted into forks till I was just going in circles.
Avoiding the breakdown ends there anyways

The universe holds the spectrum and prism
that wishes you to diffuse as a ray.

Know the rhythm of your wavelength,
the universe catches up with all of us.

You've been popping up all over the place
but for all my memories, where did you go?

Can't bring myself to say
what you want to hear,
my life is not what you had in mind.
There's a part of me
that feels I owe you nothing,

the part that parted

and doesn't know you.
As if it all wasn't in the same breath already.

But today is just like the rest of my daze

just a cherried wick, till I'm gone
in a puff of smoke.

And yeah, it's been cold enough
to see my own breath.
So I've started to make sure I keep a pack of friends around.
But I can't tell whose breath
I'm conjuring, leaving it
to hang among regret and confusion

and there you are again.

Wracking up favorites in the dictionary of words I'll never use
All of them so nihilistic, all of everything I do so reflective of me and I'm the last to see it
What am I missing?
I can see where the meaning comes from but not what it is
I'm waiting so patiently to take it's hand, eager to be led under illumination
And I know, I can guess, that doing nothing is a great way to get just that.
But the void in front is relentless, unchanging, still.
And again, I know.
I know, dad.
I'm not doing anything about it
But where do you start with nothing?