Indigo Maroon

Indigo Maroon 4h

What do I do now? I don't even want to think about it, think about
How my life is splitting apart at the seams and all of my panicked
Outcries are doing nothing to stop it.

Amazing, I think, that I've lasted as long as I have.
Maybe this is for the better?

I tell myself, but it tastes like a lie in my mouth.

If I cease to be Caligula, what do I have left
For myself. I am nothing, nothing!

Nobody truly understands that I am losing everything and am
Out of my mind with pain and fury. I can't stop
Thinking, why me? Why is it always me?

Can't I have good luck just one time? I'm not
Asking for much. I'm scared, no, terrified that my
Life is ending quicker than I ever anticipated. I wanted to die
Grandly, in a wild blaze of glory. Not with my whole life
Upturned, sinking slowly, suffering wildly,
Losing what I worked so hard to achieve,
And wishing I could go back and be great one more time.

Written by another para (who, obviously, goes by the name Caligula), in the future/ after I end his suffering and pack the daydream away to start over again

#caligula #suffering #daydream #daydreamer #maladaptivedaydreamer #maladaptivedaydream #para #perspective #madd

Indigo Maroon 9h

The tightrope walker

She wobbles slightly, perched upon her
thin, taught rope.
She prays desperately that she does not fall
does not break.
She has perched up there her whole life, once
hopeful and excited to be
a part of the show, but
She has long since grown weary
of trying not to fall off.
She is sick of the spectacle, sick of perching
on that worn rope.
She misses the pole she once held, that blessed protection
against the wind, rain, and storms,
but it has long since rotted away, as sick of the cruel game
as she was.
She wonders, looking down, down, down
to the jagged rocks below, if it would be easier to just
fall off.
She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and
lets go
She is no longer a tightrope walker but a
skydiver
She smiles blissfully for the first time as she tries out
her new hobby.

Indigo Maroon 12h

Eleanor

Eleanor
Who is she?
A shadow of a woman, waiting in earnest
for someone to care.
Beautiful phantom, hoping that someday
she will no longer be lonely.
Maybe no longer be Eleanor, but someone different
Someone better.

Eleanor
Where is she
Lingering in the church, waiting in earnest
for someone to notice her.
Majestic ghoul, sitting alone and longing
For a companion.
Someone to keep her company as she
slowly dies.

Eleanor
Why is she?
Holding on to hope, waiting in earnest
for someone to mourn her
Ghost at last, though everything seems to be the same
as when she was alive
As her coffin is placed in the ground
with no one there to toss dirt over it,
Eleanor finally loses hope.

Lonely Eleanor
Lonely, lonely
Cries tears that no one will see
She looks around, invisible as she's always been
Goes back to her home
Life resumes
As if nothing ever happened.

Based off of Eleanor Rigby by the Beatles

#eleanorrigby #lonely

Indigo Maroon 15h

In the stars

I've always searched the stars
Wondered if there could be something there
for me.
Maybe a home? Maybe an origin?
Maybe even love.
They say we are all made of
stardust.
Then why is it so hard to get along?
How can beings with stars inside of them feel
hate?
So every night, I search the stars,
wondering if, somewhere, maybe, just maybe,
someone is out there,
searching the stars
just like me.
Longing for love.
Family.
A home that is not just a place, though that sounds nice too, but a
feeling, a
person.
Who loves me as fiercely as the sun loves the moon,
so much that we will make an
eclipse
together.
Are these things really written
in the stars?

Written from the perspective of another para, Soren, who's a lot sweeter than Necare

#daydream #daydreamer #para #maladaptivedaydreamer #stars #love #soulmate #longing #moon #maladaptivedaydream

Indigo Maroon 1d

To be human 2

I used to wonder what it was like to be
human.
Used to believe I was a monster simply because of what
I was.
Now I understand.
I choose to be a monster because
they
deserve
it.
I choose to ****, to rip lives apart because of
what they did to mine.
Nothing will ever
be
the
same.
I am not a monster because I am
not
human.
I am not evil because I am
different,
foreign,
unknown.
I am not feared because of my name or my skin, but because of my
rage.
I keep my promises, always.
They deserve what is
coming.
They deserve to see the same destruction they sent
me
and my people.
They deserve to weep, kneeling on the
burnt floor
as they mourn those who were
stolen
from them
cruelly.
And, if I die in the process, then I will
finally reunite
with my family in
Caelum.
My revenge will be as
cruel
as the
names
I was called.

Written by the same para (Necare) grown up/present day.

#maladaptivedaydream #maladaptivedaydreamer #daydreamer #para #madd #human #monster #revenge #trauma

Indigo Maroon 1d

To be human

I wonder what it feels like
to be
human.
Something I have never been and will
never
be.
I wonder what it is like to have a
soul.
Certainly everything must be better when you're human,
right?
Humans look out for each other,
right?
I have never felt like a
monster.
But I know I must be, because people always
told me
I was.
Maybe, if I was human, I would finally deserve
to live.
Maybe, if I was human, I would finally belong, and no one would
hate me
anymore.
My family says to keep it all
inside.
They say humans are the true
monsters.
But that can't be true.
Can it?

Written from the perspective of one of my paras (Necare) when he was young.

#para #human #monster #madd #maladaptivedaydreamer #daydreamer #daydream #perspective #trauma

Indigo Maroon 1d

Untitled

I promise I'll come back to you, I promise.