Being born with an abusive family isn’t a fun experience to live through.
You can survive but barely.
It’s like maggots eating away at flesh.
The flesh is your heart.
Maggots are the words.

You can tell me you understand what it’s like.
Do you?
You do?
Tell me how it feels to be put down for being called fat.
Tell me how it feels to be put down for trying to be an influence!
Tell me! How it feels! To be put down for who I am by “family”!
You don’t know.



Expressing who I am keeps me calm and makes me feel protected.
Expressing but then being judged for acting like myself is such a hard feeling to bare.

Tell me what it’s like to lose a friend that you told all your secrets to.
Tell me what it’s like for you to come home to a drunken father.
Tell me what it’s like to come home crying because the kids on the bus made of you for having daddy problems.
Tell me what it’s like to endure physical pain from the inside out.
Tell me what it’s like to come home to your brother telling you, “Dad’s in the hospital.”
You... do not know.



Depression with anxiety, and hurt, and vicious pain are like a mixture of a freshly opened wound and salt.
It stings away at you until you’re no more.
Until you believe that you are worthless.
Until you believe that you can’t go on any further!




Is it right for someone to be discriminated for their color?
Is it right to stand by and listen to **** and suicidal jokes?
I’ve done it.
I’ve stood by because I was too afraid of what they would say to me.
How they would react.
What tiny little things they would use against me.

How does it feel to know how I feel now?
What will you do to me?
Hurt me?
It’s far too late for that.


You didn’t know…
That I have cried myself to sleep.
That I previously used my depression for attention.
I know it was wrong.
It was wrong in so many ways.

I’ve changed so much.
I’ve figured out how to control my actions.
I’ve figured out how to bare through it.
I’ve figured out how to cover the thing called darkness up.

You think I wanted the attention?
No. You’re wrong!
I did it because of neglect.
I don’t want attention!


You don’t know what it feels like to be buried in a casket of darkness and fear.
Do you?
You do?
Tell me!
Tell me how it feels when others insult you.
Tell me… explain it to me!
Explain what it feels like to be but down for every little minor thing about you!
You… do not… know.

Those who wander without a noise
Playing with their old kid toys;
Remembering the fun times they had
While dreaming of their deadbeat dad.

But little did they know, he wasn’t perfect
for him to be born with a mental defect.
They expected him to happy
Always wandering with joy;
He just couldn’t stop playing with that little kid toy.

He did best to hide
But his chances were too wide
One night, it all got to his head
When he pulled the trigger next to his bed.

Luckly,
It was all just a dream
Waking up to their horrible screams.
They rush to at their fathers stay
While telling them, “It’ll all be okay”.

The father takes his gun
Handing it to his son
Preparing to eject;
And not even trying to protect.

Their dad’s defect
Must have got to their head
When the kids pulled the trigger;
And dropped dead.

As they come to a wake;
Seeing their father laying in bed
Sleeping in a quiet position;
But actually is dead.

Coming to realize,
Their father was always in joy
Stuck playing with that little kid toy.

People don’t stop to think about the things they have.
The things they should be grateful for.
The things the homeless should have.

Speaking of the homeless, I was told ALL homeless people
No. Not just some.
ALL homeless people are drug addicts.
Are they?

I wouldn’t know.
I’m not homeless.
Neither were you. You have no right in saying that!
You don’t know that person’s life. You know NOTHING about them!

“We’re running out of food.” one said
“We’re running out of love!...” another said.
“We’re running out of time!...” another wished to say.

He wrote it to me. He wrote what he wanted to say.
He couldn’t speak because he was mute.
Did you know that? Did you know he was mute?
Would you feel pity if you did know?
Would you feel regret if you knew?

I was in a dream…
I was walking, talking
Talking to who?
Him.
The person mute.

He was talking!
I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t.
I felt no emotion.
I came across somebody else who was blind.
Another with a disorder.
One after another.
All aligned within the walkway.



They begged for me to help them.
They begged for forgiveness.
They begged and begged.
All wanting something they didn’t get.


I felt nothing.
No hurt.
No guilt.
No pity.
NOTHING.

I woke up and realized... it was you.
The one who was ungrateful for what they had.
You said they were addicts.
You said they didn’t deserve anything.
You said they couldn’t be happy.

Each of us has a bad mind.
Each of us has a bad side.

That person who was you;
That person who never thought;
Who never had feeling;
That is what we call the thing hidden within our shadows
The thing we must have to live…

Life.