Whether you have found someone
or you’re all alone,

you must remember the best relationship you can have,
is the one with yourself.

I used to write for fear of forgetting.
I stopped writing for fear of remembering.
Your arms loosening from around me
as you said final thoughts of us.
Your taillights trailing down the street.
Mirroring the floodgates from my eyes.

Now I have the typewriter you gave me.
An incessant reminder of all the words I never said.
All the words that are too late to make up for time lost.

I wrote to you anyway.

Without the intention of winning you.
Only hoping not to lose you,
the only person who could scare the **** out of me
and make me feel like I was floating
using one stupid look
that made me fall ceaselessly and unnervingly
in love with you.

I wanted you to know
that all of my convictions
that true love and fate
were just lies that are spoon-fed to us
so that we aren't starved by an empty life,
it all wavered when you smiled at me.

I want to tell you
that I used to never have dreams
and now you're in all of them.
Making reality that much harder.

Every letter was returned.

I saw you with her.
It seemed fast.
You seemed happy.

You were there for so long,
keeping me up right and locked
in the same position
to fix the things underneath my skin.
Things I can't see without other's devices.
All of these fractured, cracked and shattered bits of me
started to come back together.
Never close to how I was.
But the vest version of me that is capable of existing now.

Now you've been serrated from me.
Shrapnel of you flew everywhere
as the pieces of us were ripped and removed,
all that's left of you and me is an empty shell of what was.
My protection from this world is now just hazardous debris.

Adjusting to this different version of myself,
it's skin I don't recognize
and doesn't feel like mine.
This scaffolding of happiness
can never fully integrate
with so much of me missing.

I'm going to mark you as mine
As I scratch my nails down your back in jagged lines
And drag my tongue across your every limb like vines
Tasting every morsel of your skin as we combine
Pushing my arms above my head
Making me clench the pillow by the threads
Engulfed by the pooling heat as it spreads
Through my body on this bed