Danger danger my gears are grinding
My thoughts are cycling
I know what this means
To knowingly choose to engage
In this thought process is to
Accept defeat and to do that is
Unforgivable

I get on my knees,
Aiming to please,
Look in your eye,
And zip down your fly.

I throw you a smile,
Show you my style,
Your **** I take out,
And open my mouth.

I make like a fiend,
get on with my chore,
Look like a queen,
A ******* machine.

I feel like a glutton,
I over indulge,
Pull back my head,
I wait to get fed.

I close my eyes,
and get a surprise,
My mouth it fills up,
When will it stop!

Time for a treat,
Something to eat,
Your *** I ingest,
Get some on my breast.

Finished my work,
I give you a smirk,
You say Im the best,
Now your obsessed.

Syrup drips slowly off a spoon triggers a memory at the back
Of my mind fills up like boom
I cough and think my god
Its real..
I stand up straight
And realize its fate
My magic filled rig
Turned into a snake
Tries with all its might to bite
But who you really think is gonna win this fight
I been wishing you were feeling better than this
Now you've done
Why like this
Because its such a easy fix
**** you really did it now
Opened up a wound
And won't back down
Rotting your mind
You'll end up in the ground
But what joy I truly feel
X marks the spot
At least I will have my last magic filled night
Before the devil comes
And takes my life

Here is the truth for all to see,
I cant be the mommy my kids need.
Broken down by a battle that haunts me night and day.
Having the courage to give them a better life..  Is the true definition of unconditional love..
Knowing that I cant be the mommy they need is a scary thing .

But letting them have a chance of a
Normal life is
The only thing

I know to do..
Being saddened and depressed is
A reality that may come with this choice.

I just hope that one day my kids will understand and respect this decision
And forgive me for not there..

Know that I love them and will never stop.
Mersadie lynm black your my eldest and i love you so to the moon and back.
Maxwell orion howard my middle one
Mommy loves you so much she is hoping you u will understand
I have weaknesses but I always think of you
and Molly ann cowan my little angel i love you so
..
Your smile will brighten the world
And lastly
Stormee rose
You Are to be born in 39 days
I love you also I hope you know
Giving you to Arial so she can bea mommy is the best gift you get..
Your our littlest miracle
Cant wait to meet you and kiss you so light..
As I hand you to your new mommy
Its a honor to be the reason you all get to be alive .. Each of you are special
And mommy will be here when the day comes to explain and hope You understand the reasons
I couldn't be the mommy you all need..
Unconditional love is what I give to you the chance to become all you can be and grow up to
Be amazing adults!
By Annamarie rose newell
December 9th 2016

There goes my heart strings, there goes the intense pain,
there goes all the things in my life, now just ripped away. There goes our hearts that wanted love, there goes our fights and arguing..
there goes all those restless nights and crying up all nights,
Don't turn your head, and then wish me dead, 
as the promises that break
Were what you once said... So I guess this is the end.
Our biggest mistake

Starting to have feelings
For you
Swear its running throughout my head
Wishing I could cuddle with you in bed ..
Wishing you would grab my hand...
Needing for you to understand.
Longing to have you love me back
To see you need me back
Dreams of making love
Seem to overflow my brain
Cant tell you that because im
So afraid of rejection you see
If i dont tell you
It cant be proved wrong
Tears that have fallen
Dont really have a place
I belong
A game of tug a war
It seems
Jumping up to see what you need
Trusting enough to
Show you my seams
Even if it goes to extremes
Rambling on like a fool
Maybe I am crazy about you
Secrets my friend
We can find comfort again
Easing my mind so I dont
Cry.. Why is it that
Im falling down
To get the fire i need to
Have the desire to feed
Possibility of a future with
You
I hope its true
And im not just walking into
A gap of rejection like
A rat in a trap
*** i think my poem is crap

Doing this alone
Making my world turn upside down .. I got pregnant
Now its been 9 months
Im here at the end
Battle over

Thoughts and decisions
Racing throughout my head
Its bottled up, afraid of releasing these emotions
In fear that i will give in
Washing away my life

A flood of tears making their way down my
Cheeks
Wet puddles pooling on the floor in front of me

Stuck in a rut
Wondering if i will
Ever break free of this curse
Fetal position in a ball
Bawling in a corner
Reluctant to fight


Huge choice
Cant take it back
Wisest thing
I will ever do
Unconditional love
Comes from the strength to
Give them the lives
They deserve
Without being selfish
A path engraved in dirt!

By Anna marie rose
January 1 2017