Im Grateful

**** is my vice

And makes me happy n nice

**** is a seed ..

God made it green

And it feels my needs

Thankfully THERE is ****

And it's legal in my state

Maybe it was fate..

Being blazed is great

Hungrily I ate..

**** is a great taste!

Seems everyone has someone
Seems like they can keep that someone in their life.
Why is it .. I'm alone..
No one wants this body as their own
Why do I cry so much
Missing out on loves true touch.
What is the reason guys want me
But don't want to have me as theirs

My magical place is lost in time
Past mistakes create a rip in the fabric of LIFE.
My tears trickle down my cheeks
My mental state begins to rattle and shake..
A earthquake it seems
Beats my soul down in defeat

Seems I'm just a puzzle piece in this
Scene.
Nothing I can fake
Nothing I can take
My life is junk yard
Where the unwanted things get thrown. .
Seems my life is not really a source
For someone heart to breathe
Just a messed up battlefield
Where unneeded unwanted unnecessary things end up..

(Why is it that I am not good enough
Am I really that bad)

(I took them away from the life they wanted  n needed)

I ruined my babies lives
I ****** up so bad
I don't know where to go
I lost my mind
Now I know
I can't take it back
My world is so black
I wish that I wasn't  so ******* stupid
Like thaf.
I guess that's why I'm so alone
Because I deserve it
I walked down this road
(Mersadie, mawell, molly..
I'm so sorry..
I failed U

So sick and tired

Of all these dudes thinking I'm just meant to be used...and persuaded
I'm a lady and I have a soul
Stop this nonsense I'm no fool
Senseless freaks
Thinking I am that easy-to-use and abuse. . **** that ****
I'm a beautiful woman with a choice to choose
Stop at *******... I'm not there to get your jollies off
I'm not your robot queen
You so often want me to be..
I'm better then those stereotypes
Better then that
I'm freshly changed
A new and improved
Personality so cool
A respect for myself
That you can't understand
I'm not that needle ******
I use to show off as
I'm the caterpillar  now morphed into
A butterfly
My bright and colorful patterns
For all the world to see..
This is the chance for myself to create  a brand-new me..
So ******* all of you weirdos and creeps I'm not so ***** on the street

No need to bleed
No reason to go

Hanging my head in regret
I smear my eyeliner
And quiver as I try to fight the tears that my emotions create.

My heart feels empty
My mind is overflowing
Thoughts of my past
Spill forth
Puddles of tears
Forcing the world to see
What I have buried in my soul for so so long....
Witness my fears
My bare truth

There's a demon in my veins begging to break free
Nothing holding my selfish needs but this biting greed
I'm so doubtful and so weak my mental thoughts can not cope
My willpower has NOthing to  grasp but the lies I often gush to make myself look brave to boast to the world Im greatly cleansed and can do as my friends do
Begin healing and start a new path..
But the curse that gets me every night haunts my life, takes me to the bottom ..
Take grabs my guts and rips and shreds, leaving chaos n decay. Dismantled graves..
Infected sores and mental thorns dragging mystery and mayhem to the onlookers
Showing the truth
Is not a pretty sight nor is my fears and faith in my own morbid core..
Failure and gloom happiness wont boom
Unless I get the guidanceand rehabilitation now
Before I ruin my newest soul my life I carry unseen
To the naked eye
God help me do this right
I crack but can't gain
Disgust