can't deal with all these problems
can't deal with all these thoughts
can't deal with all these people
can't deal with all these responsibilities
  I can't
not anymore.

Today I realized that
my only friend is the bottom of the bottle.
Sometimes
he takes the control when ı am not able to control.
Sometimes
he helps me to fly.
Sometimes
he helps me to feel something when I don't feel anything
And Sometimes
he helps me to feel nothing at all when I feel so much.

I will do it
Yes
I will definitely do it.
I will **** myself.
I can feel
the ending.