I just want to lay with you
Stay with you, play with you
Be your flavor...everyday with you
No music
No lyrics
Just me and you

We are letting go of the past

We are reaching out to the future


But we have failed to embrace the beauty of now....

Words fail me sometimes
I can't convey how it feels some days
I find myself wondering and wandering,
Asking and doubting,
Praying and crying,
Wishing and waiting,
But there you are lost in your bliss
Calm and collected
As if life is just a breeze and a thunderstorm,
Your arms stretch for my heart
And call me home to you

I want to learn from your stillness
From your quiet calm voice
Your 'hello', calms me
Making me want to lean into you
Forever...

Baby come into the light
Let me feel your skin
Under the  sky blue sheets
Slowly
Baby come into me now
Let this world begin
Something indepth, so real
You and Me with the skies
Tonight..
Love me so tender, so slowly
Take me and keep me
Your only
Love, friend
Fighters to the end

This is our story
So come closer to the Light.

....And even if I killed myself for you
You wouldn't even realise it
Because everyday with you
Was a slow death of me
You can't even imagine.

Memories of you haunt me
I see you everywhere
I remember the short time
And i wish they never were
The way I felt
The smile and laugh
The trust I had
The future I hoped with you
Second, third, forth chances
I wish everything was a dream
A nightmare that I am now
Waking up from

I want to be the one
Who'd always hold your hand
And tell you, life is not easy
So don't be mad

I want  to be the one
To hold you
Sleep at night
Rain may seem too heavy
Let me hold you tight...

I'm not strong enough to bear your rejection
But i want to be there for you
I'm not wild enough to run your race
But i want to try and keep up with you

Because I love you
I want to take good care of you

Because I love you
And I want to be the one for you

I want you to want me....

Typing....
Hi.... (delete)
    Heyyy (delete)
      I miss you (delete)
  
Throws phone on bed
And let the words die inside
I quench the fire
I **** the feelings
With the messages I never sent

We often run into the arms of those
Who can justify our madness,
Those who make us feel better about the monsters we have become,
Because we don't want to be better,
We don't want to change,
That's too much of a task for us
We just want to be loved the way we our,
Our ***** selves...

I hide in the dust
Pretending that it doesn't choke me
I lay down with the wolves
Hiding the fear
The howling night is never ending
I have searched for the spring
For the love that dwells in it
I have been all that I should
And it has left me broken
On the floor, with the dust
It has left me numb
On the floor, with the wolves
I don't know how to fight
And I don't know how to get up...

You said I was beautiful
But I didn't believe you
I didn't know you that much to believe you

You said my eyes, that you could get lost in my eyes,
I felt it was a cheesy line, it didn't even rhyme
I didn't believe you
Because I didn't know you that much to believe you

You said I was perfect, my skin milk and honey
My lips melted butter
you touched me like I was clay

You said I was your blue flame,
"Don't pretend to be wild for me, don't try to prove your worth to me.
Baby you are beautiful, can't you see? You are more than enough for me"

Some nights
I wish
It was just me, you and the darkness that covers us

You came and all my smiles
Have left my cheeks so rosy
Have made me feel so lively
Again..

You came and understood my pain
You see me like I really am
You've made me feel so happy
And my heart that was gloomy
Is no more...

I know my words are short and undefined...
I know you want this to be more and
Amplified...

But with my short words I will tell you,
From my heart
Though it worries
Though it doubts
Though it wants to foolishly  know how all this will turn out...

You make me happy and I can't remember the last time I smiled as hard as I do when I'm talking with you.

We haven't met yet
But I feel like I will enjoy making you smile..
Watch you laugh
And maybe pause the moment
Or let it play in repeat but in slo-mo

We haven't met yet
But I feel like our hugs will last
a longer while..
My small head resting on you safely
As you fight the urge to carry me

We haven't met yet
But I feel like we'll be in each other's space for a while.

I told him to go
And he left
And he didn't look back

I drove him away?
Naaa...
If he wanted to stay
He wouldn't have left

This night I'm tired

I'm tired of trying

I'm tired of  trying to be who I was

I'm tired of doing what I used to do

I'm tired of trying to prove anything!

I'm sitting this one out!

Sophie with zero energy everybody!

Friday night, I'm just watching!

We sat at the bottom of the sea
Waiting patiently for the Healer
To set us free
You moved closer to see my scars
I shifted away to hide my scars
You moved closer and showed yours
Your scars; deep, fresh, everywhere
On your back
On your hands
On your heart
Scars
Greater than mine
I moved closer to show you mine
You ran your hands through

We sat at the bottom of the sea
Waiting patiently for the Healer
To set us free
My healing began when you saw me.

We want to sleep but don't want to sleep,
We want to hang up but we don't want to hang up,
I'm uncertain about these small matters
But what I am certain of?
We certainly want to fall asleep in each other's arms...

Have you ever met the man called Hope?
He's tall and Chubby,
He has freckles under his eyes,
His smile is like a million puppies
His lips knows me

Hope pulls me close when I poke at his tummy,
He plays with my hair because he thinks it's funny,
Hope follows me everywhere
And never cares what anyone will say
He likes me too much to care anyway

Hope calls me and in my sleep I hear his voice
Hope reminds me that Love still exists
And I am  worthy of it...

I think having feelings is one of the best gifts given to writers,
Because feelings are dynamic; ever changing. It is an opportunity to express freely.
So I write to release the feelings that hunt me....
Introducing ME..

I think I'm crazy
Insecure
Overreactive
Overthinking
Stupid
My friend held me close and whispered
"Not everything is your fault."

He doesn't belong to me
Because I am a mess
a weird human by nature
He has all these things he can hold on to,
I am like smoke
Broken by the disaster
That is my unsteady nature
A hurricane in search of love
I am
A rose with many torns
I am
A pearl in an oyster
I am
And so he belongs to them
They are better than me
Touchable
Stay-able
I am the wild horse
That falls everybody off her back
But waits patiently to be tamed

All I wanted was you
All of you
The real you
I didn't care for anything more
I didn't care for anything less
I know who you really are
All I wanted was you

He said I gave up on him easily
That I left him too soon
I didn't give up
I just got tired of knocking
On the door of your heart
Hoping that you let me in
I was beaten by the rain
I was flogged by the wind
Laughed at because I looked desperate
Mistaken for a beggar
Mistaken for a con-artist
But never seen as a lover
I got tired of knocking
Because if you keep knocking
And there is no answer,
It means nobody is home
Or they don't want to let you in.

So maybe I did give up
Atleast I tried...

Love is a strong word
But it's more than words
It more than just saying it,
It's heavier than that

Love, is in what I do
What I choose to do
Because I can love someone without knowing it,
But I'm showing it.

Love, is in what I do
What I will do for you
Because when I love,
I will do things not just say things
It's easy to say things
But love is in the things I do

How to Love,
I love you when I am available, I don't have to but I want to.

I love you when I want to take care of you, I don't have to but I want to.

I love you when I accept you but still want you to be better, I love you that much to want you to grow.

I love you when I stay, I don't have to but I choose to.

Love is not entirely in the words that I speak: "i love you"
              "i love you"
               "i love you"

         A million times over

Love is in what I give, knowing that I don't have to but I want to.

It's deeper but that is love to me...

It's hard sometimes
Trying to forget you
When all the memories come in like a flood
It's hard not to cry
It's hard every time
Trying to move on

We want to prove that we are hotter
than the sun,
We want to show that we are rougher
than everyone,
We want the world to kiss our butts
and let us be,
A form of rebellion!
A revolution that can not be tamed!

Excuse me!

While you're busy shedding skin
Breaking rules
and breaking hearts
Trekking further
and burning bridges

You should know that nobody really cares,
You should know that life is sweeter when you care.

They say it hurts like a sting
When your heart is broken
Into a million different pieces
But I don't feel a thing
Instead I feel nothing
Not emptiness
And not heaviness
Instead I feel free

Maybe my heart was never broken
Maybe you can't break a heart that is already broken.

Dandelions sleep
The music as it plays, isn't that deep
Not even that deep

Watch me as I pray
Kneel beside my feet
The music as it plays, isn't that deep
Not even that deep

I beg you to see the wonder that I see
The beauty deeep within
The splendor, the grace
In taking things slow

The broken and the scared
Need a chance to take things slow

So watch the dandelions sleep
Listen, to the music as it plays
It's not that deep
It was never that deep.

I do want to hurt you
The same way you hurt me

I lie at your feet
Soaking you in every drop
Of my cold- warm tears
I beg you to see me,
See me for who I really am
See me for who you really know me to be....

I finally realised why i miss you,
You listened and you always wanted to be here with me...

You didn't care if it was stupid
Or if what I said was weird
You didn't care if I cried or if I laughed
the whole time
You were just happy to be here with me....

I must admit that you forced yourself into my life,
I was fine on my own.

But you made room for me in your scattered, messy and confused life and it was home...

You were deep
Like real deep
And I never doubted your love for me

You wanted me,
In your scatterd, messy and confused life.

Thank you for loving my with your whole being, and for kissing me on my forehead for no good reason.

I love you for no good reason.

Finally!

Somebody that wants me

I realized that I belong to no one
And so I owe loyalty to no one
I can be who I want with who I want, when I want.
That is the freedom I need.

Think with your head
Feel with your heart
Don't switch it!!!

I miss you
But I can't tell you
Because telling you means being vulnerable....again
And I don't want to fall
And have no one to catch me....again

I met you when i didn't want you
You held my hand
Made me smile
I am at ease
Now I want you..

I kept your sweater
Obviously!
And I will never return it
Obviously!

I think of you when I shouldn't
I forgive you quicker than I should
I want you when I shouldn't
I miss you more than I should

And so I hate myself everyday
For feeling this way
And so I blame myself
Believing that you'd stay

The angels say you'll come back...
I laugh every time I hear that
I'm laughing now

So I kept your sweater
Obviously!
Not to remind myself of you
But just because..
It's a nice sweater..

I loved you!
I always did, I felt I did...
I showed it in ways I know how to
With a little restriction, Yes
But I was only trying to protect my heart...
So blame me for not giving you my life
Blame me for not making you my reason for living,

The universe knows that I loved you
Even you know it.
It does matter what I do now...
I loved you.

So now...
Months later,
I don't have to prove anything to you,
I don't have to be there for you,
Show up for you,
Dress nice for you,

I proved my love for you long ago
I don't have to prove anything now!

We stayed up late last night
Beautiful whispers in the dark
I told you my fears
And asked you if you missed me...

The next morning, I woke up and I couldn't  move
I rolled over and you weren't there....

I wish you'd stay
I wish you'd call me every night
I wish you'd be there by my side
Beautiful whisper in the dark

I wish you could be here with me, fight these demons for me,
Dance to 'mirrors' with me
Be the hero
Truly
I wish more than anything
You'd be mine to have and keep
My hard-headed ******,
I wish you'd stay...

Mama said
I should forget about you
Give it time my child
You will find someone new

Mama said
Don't waste your time
You are fine wine
And if he can't see that...
My child
You will find someone new

Mama said you ain't ready for us
For me
Too scared to give it a shot
Too scared to love till you drop
Let him go my child
You will find someone new

Mama said you didn't love me
That you didn't care
He has a lot of girls at his feet
He wants to take a sip from every river
I forbid you to think about him
You will find someone new

But mama doesn't know you like I do
She promised me that I'll find someone new
But all i want is you..