I'd be lying if I said
I didn't know what I was doing to you
you said I made you feel wanted
well, that's not entirely wrong
I want you
I want all of you
I like you at my mercy
begging me to stop
but in reality
you want me to keep going
because it makes you feel wanted
Well,
I want you.

I liked him a lot
and I liked the feelings
that came with him
but,
for some reason
it wasn't enough to make
me not want to exist
there is this deep sadness
within me, that if I stop
for a moment, it might
consume me
it might end me
and the worst part is,
I wouldn't mind.

I like watching people be themselves
no filters
just themselves
these are the moments that I live for
because without them
I don't think I can keep going,
I don't think I can keep breathing

you think I need you?
you think I need to be protected?
I don't ******* need you
where were you when it mattered?
where were you when I actually needed you?
I don't ******* need you
I didn't need you then,
and I don't need you now

I think,
I hate you
and I know,
I know that "hate" is such a strong word
but,
that's how I feel about you
you give to people,
and you're generous but,
you also take,
you took my youth,
my innocence,
my opportunities,
my confidence,
and my love for you
I don't need them anymore though,
just like I don't need you

things can be different
from different point of views.
the same sceneries can be dull
or they can be filled with hues.

the flickering flame can burn
or the flame can be warm.
the water can quench thirst
or the water can bring storm.

we don't have to think alike,
we don't have to be the same.
for some people my words could mean
and for some they could be lame.

Stay here
when everything says run.
Stay here
when the jaw grinds shut.
Stay here
when the breath runs thin.
Stay here
when you're out of your skin.
Stay here
when the drink calls quietly.
Stay here
when the voice says spitefully,
"you're not enough"
because
when it comes to this stuff,
running feeds the fire
and true healing requires
staying here.

Your beauty may birth from shaved legs
red clown lips, gaudy eyeshadow
flimsy black crumbles beneath
your eyelid
You are ****-sun-kissed;
I am opaque.
Blotches of color
Lighten my smile

cheekbones never as sharp
as your words