your footsteps
echo through the hall

it truly
makes my skin crawl

it makes me anxious,
it makes me sick

and truly,
I don't know what it is

I think
I associate your footsteps
with something bad

something happened
something sad
something, that weighs heavily
on my back

I tried to think
I tried to remember
but I came back empty

empty of memories
empty of meaning
empty of all the things
I should be feeling

so tell me
why your footsteps
makes my skin crawl?

I just want to know
how to deal with it all

I’m in my car
Waiting for you,
My heart beating
Underneath my ribcage,
I feel the exhaustion
And the weight
Of the little bag
Of tools that it
Brings with it,
Just in case
Pieces start to fall off,
The wait feels infinite,
The ticking of my
Watch echoes through
The air vents and
Leave me wondering
When will I get to
See you.

But you are not me
I am me
and I am magic

I hope you find me
in every single thing you do

don't
don't ever assume
my "overreaction"
you don't know what happened
for me to react
the way I did
so
sit still
and don't
ever
assume
my reaction

My sister
made the same
joke as you
it kinda hurt
because I knew that
you two
would become
really good friends

I wish

you would've
fought harder
I was willing to fight
for you
I was willing
to do
whatever it took
to be with you

I guess that says
more about you
than it does
about me

Did you
hear my heart break
when I sat beside you
while you were telling
your life story

that was
one of the moments
where I felt
my heart break
like
𝒶𝒸𝓉𝓊𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎 break

The first time
had something to do with you
but,
this time
this time was different
because this time
I felt helpless
because this time
I couldn't do anything
except
hear you cry