Don't read me if you knew me once
My silence,my laugher ,my folded hands
You'll think these lines are diaries
And search for your shadow in every stanza

This is not for you
Not for the ones who watched me grow
Called me nicknames
Or claim to know how I hurt

I write for the uknown eyes
The ones who don't flinch
At the sight of my rawness
Strangers who won't say
"I know who is about."

My poems are not secrets spilled
Ther are truths I dressed in rhythm
Not confessions for your curiousity

So close the book
If you ever thought you had me figured out
These verses are for the world
Not for you
Who never listened
When I spoke without rhyme.

When iam alone
I let myself believe
Just for a moment
That he misses me too
That maybe he thinks of me
When the sky turns soft
And the world slows down.

Bt it's not real
It's just me
Doing all the loving
In my thoughts.

They say it's nothing
Just a cold
Bt why do I feel
Like the world
Is sitting on my chest.

I try to rest
Bt the night presses too close
And my back aches
Like it's holding a sorrow
It doesn't understand.

It's just cold
Bt it hurts
In ways I can't explain.

You are my ruin
And still,I beg
To be broken again
By your touch.

So I wait ,
Like ruins do
Quiet
Bleeding
Beautiful
Still hoping
You'll come back
And break me again.

I have all this love
And nowhere to put it
It's rotting inside me
Soft,warm
Unspent.

I reach out in dreams
But wake up alone
His name buried in my throat
Like a secret
I was not allowed to say.

He didn't stay
But the love did
And now it grows wild
Inside a heart
With no one left
To give it to.

No farewell,no funeral
Just a love that died
Without dying
And a girl still dressed on mourning
For a man who never came.

I just wish
One morning
I'd wake up to his trembling voice
Saying
It was all a lie,
I've loved you all along.

Bt I don't know
If that day will ever come.

Still
I hope
Still
I pray
Still
My heart
Keeps yearning.