everyone
talking,
dreaming,
obsessing
over finding their "missing piece"

what about the girl who has always been whole all on her own?

(does whole have to equal alone?)//

You'll be sitting on a step
Some party raging behind you
And you'll be contemplating walking home,
Or finding that girl from earlier
The one who tangled her fingers in your hair while you kissed,
When it'll happen.
A girl, maybe 18,
Will plop down beside you,
Purposefully skin to skin,
and she'll smile.

She'll pretend she's more drunk than she is
And you'll want to protect her.
Like always.
People will be looking for you,
The life of every party now,
Inside the house
But you won't care.
This girl will tell you she's got to walk home,
And you'll take her hand,
And tell her to lead the way.
She'll lean over and kiss you,
Just like she planned she would,
Just long enough to give you the right idea.

You'll stand up together
Wobbling just a little
And she'll start walking
And you'll keep pace and a lookout.
She'll glance at you,
Hunger in her eyes
Waiting to feed off the attention you wrap yourself in,
Like an otter in seaweed.

You'll become very aware of the condoms in your pocket
You might think about how you need to buy another box
As she's the fifth girl this month to take you home

Hungry for the fame
Hungry for the attention
Hungry for the talent
But not hungry for the you inside.
And you'll know it,
I hope.

Stay safe out there, love.
I'll remember.

there's this certain feeling I get in the car.
When it's dark out, the windows are down and the music is loud.
this feeling in the pit of my stomach like I've reached it; my goal, my destination, my true happiness.
like I'm living in a dream.
like my heart is floating above my body, watching myself like I'm in a movie.
speaking of movies, they sometimes have a reminiscent feel.
late night conversations in the dark would be the closest second.

that's what my whole life has been about.
surrounding myself with people, circumstances, places that feel like that.
that feel like music.

most people don't understand,but I've never been willing to stop. I won't stop chasing it. I can't.
it's what keeps me going.
I hate the silence.
the melodies, for me, are as vital as breathing.
I've never been willing to stop or even slow down because of this.

It isn't personal if I can't stop for you.
I just can't stop chasing the music.

I've never needed anyone to come along. I've never needed anyone to sit in the car with me. I was born for the chase, and more often than not its a one-person gig.
and that's okay.
No one has ever quite understood me, and that is fine.
I'm different.
I've always known.

and if I chase the music alone until my lungs give their very last note, I'll be okay. it's always been just me and the melodies.  

but one day, if I happen to meet someone on the same chase, maybe we will create harmony.
maybe our melodies will go together.
and that will be favorite song.
and I will sing that one forever.//

She was it.
Everything you've ever looked for.
The sun
The moon
The stars.

The light you search for when you're surrounded by darkness.
The air your lungs long for when you feel like you're drowning.
The only hope you have when the world is dragging you under.

She was everything you'd ever dreamed about.
And you could have had her.
If only you would have believed in yourself.
If only you had asked.

But you let her slip.//

//she may have a ***** mouth, but her heart is clean
and wasn't it Jesus who hung around the lepers?

admittedly, some days she was just tired.
some days she just didn't feel like climbing or stretching or even trying at all.
but she knew, as did anyone who had ever met her, that the stars had always been hers.
she just had to reach.

and someday, when you pass her,
sometime when everything seems so normal,
you'll look at her.
and you'll know that one day when you weren't looking, she took what was rightfully hers.
and you'll know that she climbed.//

they were different.
they were the sun and the moon, and the rest of the world stars.

both magnificent from a distance,
but very few were made to be close to them.

they were both bright in their own senses,
she possessing unparalleled grace and he being the essence of mystery.

they, of course, were attracted to each other.
like magnets though, if one was pushing and one was pulling they were unstoppable.
but if they both put out force simultaneously they sometimes repelled each other.

they never could quite figure it out, why love and hate seemed to sometimes run together;
why they longed to wake up next to each other every morning but never wanted to see the other again at the same time

why they felt so bright standing alone but so often eclipsed when next to the other.

they couldn't help that they were so passionate about their own worlds but so indifferent toward the others.

they couldn't quite grasp any of it.

they were different.

they were different because she longed to be light, and he always insisted on being darkness//

She was suicidal and
sick to the bone. He
was a boy with a mind
of his own. He walked
around with his smokes.
While she walked around
with her body aches and
hurt. They stumbled upon
one another. That was when
he started flirting. He never
questioned her about the
sins her hands did. Neither
about the places where the
razor blade caressed her skin.
He only asked to marry her
and stay by her side till the
end. Till she's healthy and
strong. Till she chops off the
arms of her past. Till she
bursts in giggles and laughs.
And that was when he asked
for her to be his first kiss
while he approached to her
rosy lips* ~