I always wonder
if you were lying to me
when you said that
your house burned down.

I always wonder
if you really meant it
when you said that
you loved me.

I always wonder
why I am still thinking
about you
because
you ruined my life.

I always wonder
if you knew that
you robbed me.

I always wonder
if you really understood
how ******* up
our relationship was.

I always wonder
if you knew
that your words
hurt me.

I always wonder
if you knew
how much pain you inflicted on me.

I always wonder
if you understood
that I couldn't leave you
alone.

I always wonder
if you realized
that you forced me
to stay.

I always wonder
if you ever really understood
you,
me,
us,
at all?

nothing but
tears
have streamed down my face today.
my eyes,
my head,
my throat,
my chest.
they all hurt.
my heart is broken
i am living in a state of
denial.
i can't believe this happened.
it wasn't supposed to happen like this.
this wasn't supposed to happen today.
i am broken.
my soul is shattered.

So many things have happened
in the past four years.
I have loved.
I have lost.
I have been happy.
I have been sad.
I have been used.
But now I am scared.
I am terrified of what lies ahead.
It is like I am standing in the path
of an oncoming train -
I can see it in the distance,
I know it is coming,
but I don't know when it will hit me.

the night is so dark
the darkness, it consumes me
the night is so dark

I cannot decide whether or not to
End this.
Sometimes things go great.
But those times are rare.
Things are turning sour but you're too
Blind to see it.

We are all doomed to Death.
We all have the same fate;
So why do we try and change it?

They say that a red thread connects you to the person you love.
That thread can be
Twisted,
Tied,
Looped,
But never frayed or broken.
I used to believe this.
Until my thread started to fray.