Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
  Jun 2018 Chin-Chin
Antonia Caldow
I'm not what I once was
A sea of change and pain
The smiles that follow a new touch
A whisper of time gone by
And all that's new I was gone
As smiles of old now die

I'm not what I once was
A whole to be filled
In the light that was my life
An age stretches out before us
A line drawn in the sand of time
Don't talk or fuss or touch

I am now anew
Reborn from the ashes, rising
The dust has settled the ash is laid
A step across the sand of time
I'm not what I once was
  May 2018 Chin-Chin
Unrequited Love
I can't wait for the day that I find someone where I don't have to question if they want me around.

Because all this not knowing is killing my soul.
Should I message him....No.
But I want to talk to him ?
Yeah but your probably just bugging him.
But, but....
Yeah your probably right
  Apr 2018 Chin-Chin
A
"You don't want to look back at your life and realize that you wasted it in front of a screen, do you?"

That's what they say.

And to them, I'd say
There are times that I feel everything around me is crumbling.
That I'm crumbling,
That my mind is turning against me.

As much as I try to fight it
I can't help the crippling depression and anxiety
that comes from seeing
a raincloud in the distance
Or sometimes, for no reason at all.

I can't control how the depression festers,
the intrusive thoughts that tell me
everyone would be be better off
if I wasn't around,
that there's a way to assure
that I'll never be caught in the rain again

I cannot count how many times I've turned to substance abuse to stop the thoughts.
I cannot count how many times the substance has worsened my condition,
Made me paranoid, Afraid of myself,
afraid of what will become of me
if i allow myself to stay

I cannot count how many moments I've had where I shoveled mountains of food into my mouth during a binge because I wasn't sure what to do with my hands.
I cannot count how many times I've punched a wall or slung everything off my desk because I needed to act impulsively in a way that would harm only myself.
I cannot count how many times I have thought of ending my own life.
I think about it every day.
More than once a day.

Sometimes I get so bad off that I can't do anything at all.
I know I can't die
my desk is already empty, i don't have the strength to throw a punch
The thought of food makes me want to *****

Those really bad times are when I turn to
my favorite TV shows for comfort

Watching a good series is like
getting ****** into a different world,
escaping from reality, all while
Being gently reminded that
there is good in this world.
that there are reasons to stay
Even if the only thing keeping me there in that moment
is the cliff hanger that was left for me at the end of the episode

If the distraction of the plot alone wasn't enough already,
the characters teach me

Katara teaches how to stand up for what you believe in and to never lose hope
Zuko teaches that you can shape your own destiny, and do what is right.
Toph teaches that you should never let another person define your abilities

Jim and Pam taught me that love doesn't always have to die as you grow older
Dwight and Angela gave me hope that things can work out in the end, even if the road is rough

Amethyst teaches that you should be comfortable with your body and its abilities
Garnet taught me to never be sorry for being who I am
Pearl taught me that it is possible to move on from losing someone you were in love with
Steven taught me that you should always stand up for what is good

Leela showed me that women can kick some SERIOUS ***, and that we should be proud of it.
Fry showed me that home is defined by being surrounded by people you love

Rick taught me that in the grand scheme of things, a lot of the things i blow up in my head are very very trivial, and that i should focus on more important things... like science!

Lastly, Morty taught me
"Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everyone's gonna die, come watch TV"
I've just had a rough few days and leaned on watching TV to keep me from losing myself. I looked back and realized that many of the hardest times were made easier by shows that distract and inspire me. It felt important enough to share
  Aug 2016 Chin-Chin
Ominous
Why don't you
just hit
that
******* hammer
against your brain
and stop
it all
******
worse,
loser.
Armed with knowledge
of any given set of rules,
One inherits great Power:
arbitration of One's own

Be well-versed
enough to be able to subverse
any and all obstacles, however adverse,
and, moreover, to be able to transverse
thyself (and, by extension, thy universe!)
perchance edified by some means of verse,
(but not necessarily: bask in the diverse!)
during this sacred and fleeting saga of the converse
called Life: denied, defamed, and defiled by perverse
and attenuated souls; true cowards: unwilling to traverse
their own inner darkness, rather opting for the reverse:
to turn themselves schismatically and indefinitely averse
to the divine, ineffable, and limitless inverse:


So this plea, please:


Just be you,
let them be them.
Let me be me,
and let her be her.
Let him be him,
just let us be us.
Just let us.
Lettuce.

("Why he talkin' 'bout lettuce now, mommy?"
"I guess he just think he funny, the fool!")



Look, point is:

You are you and I am not,
and I'm okay with that.



I am I and you are not,
and I'm okay with that.


I hope you feel the same.
If not, by me it's coo',
yet I jus' gotta say:
I pity the foo'.


Bask in the holy beauty of this Life
while you still have the chance.
Truly, Solace awaits those who are willing to face this unchangeable aspect of this Life:

Diversity is the nature of this Universe;
the Void is One is Two are Three are the Ten Thousand
(et cetera, blah blah blah)
Get over it and strive for balance.
Maintain balance.
Create it.
Be it.
Be able to lose balance and find it again and again and again...
Be it.
Be you.
I'll be me.
I'll try, at least.
I hope you do, too.
I mean, I hope you try to be you,
not that you try to be me..
'cause that's for me to do.. not you. that's..
oh jesus, here we go!

Foremost,
One must harmonize with One's own Godself.

Nary another
can or will do that for you,
nor shall ye for any other.

So, whatsayeth thou:
let's just try
and we'll see just what we can do.
I'm optimistic,
albeit a sign of weakness in such a needlessly vampyristic world.




Please,
heed my verse
should ye be so apt,
or, rather:
inclined!






Thank you for reading.
Blessings upon thy Path.
I hope this makes even just half as much sense to fresh minds as it makes to me right now.

Words are constrained to interpretation,
but therein lies much of their magic.

I wouldn't change it if I could.
--


"******'fuckidyfuck! It's five in the ******' mornin' already‽‽
I been writin' n' editin' this ******' ******* for an hour now‽
Jesus Christ!"

"Whuddup, homeboy?"

"I got work at ******' ten a.-******'-m.!!"

"God-****! You so ******, yo.
Huh, ***** t'be you, foo'!"

"You tellin' me‽ Shiiit.
Look, Jesus, bro, I got a favor t'ask ya:
So, I know you all, uh- real nice an' all,
an' I ain't tryin' t'take advantage a that immaculate ****,
but, look: I drank a lot a water, 'n I got plenty left, but uh-
I could really ******' use some medicinal miracle wine right about now!"

--
PS: Profanity in the notes field ain't explicit, so it would seem.
In keeping with the allusion at the beginning of this piece:
Knowledge is ******' Power, y'all!
-
Now it's five-*******-thirty-
make that five-*******-forty-five in the morning.
Oh, the afflictions I incur in the name of this silly piece of scripture.

Still no miracle wine...
--
Seven o'******-clock rolls around with the epiphany that my lazy and crazy self can get me my own ******' wine! Expedite the whole debacle a little, y'know?

--
Seventeen-*******'-fiddy-one and I just got off work; ne'er got me wine,
but surely ein bißchen Whiskey!
Los geht's!
  May 2016 Chin-Chin
Mike Hauser
As I read your poetry
I wonder if it's true
Do the demons that help in rhyme
Really have a hold of you

And is the one you say you love
Not returning you the favor
In the poems that you pen
Is this all your life's behavior

Does your father really raise his fist
While your mother screams
As alcohol flows freely in your life
Or is it just poetry

Are you on the verge of suicide
And do you truly cut yourself
Do you feel that worthless in your life
Is what you write a cry for help

As I read your poetry
It often sets me off to wonder
Do you write about yourself
Or do you write about another
I know poetry is a therapy for many of you and just want you to know it breaks my heart at what some of you go through...
As always you are in my prayers...
Next page