Some people light up your heart
Others darken your spirit with their poison

Some people bring kindness and compassion
Others bring despair and cruelty

Some people walk in the light
Others hide in dark places

Some people open their heart to love and share
Others bring hate and jealousy

Some offer a helping hand
Others walk away

Some stick in your side like a thorn
Others soothe and heal the pain

Some smell sweet like a rose
Others smell sour

Some light up the world and shine like the sun

it's not a fun thought to have
fun to die with
but not to fall asleep with

read some TS Eliot
didn't think him American
took the Ezra
pounding

so...
to compensate your age difference:
i am:
Reyla's Grandfather
if by age disparity you
are my Mother:

i am Reyla's grandfather
sort of Jesus no God
Premature in :ooks of aging...

i get funny looks at work
i get funny looks at work...

i'll scribble for you to get the jist
i'm psychiatrist
i am
talked for hours on end
with Qais
about the difference between
the Hajj and the shortened
version: the Ummah....
the 7x wandering around the Kabah
and seven times reading
of the Quran....
two asian girls on the train
one rubbing her hair into my naked skin
one rubbing her hair into my naked skin....

i'mk riding a rift of a Bromance:
i'm having my Lawrence Digital Arabia
Sands like Silicone...
Ahmed the Somali
Qais the Pakistani
Hamas the UNCLE
ha ha: Saudi Blah Blah
Gandu
Uzair the ****-
-stani...
goggle eyes my god so short sightened
cake fake of eagle: too!

so we talked desert in concrete
jungles:
mooch mooch much later
smooch of talking tickle
of talking mushroom godheads of crows
and magpies
like the positive cancer
of cognitive growth of a Scotch cancer:

Qais: humus was listening: fidgeting...
the drunk on the drain just sat down
and called me a priest
not a politician
a priest
i am a priest
i was giving confession on a train
and everyone seem bewildered
by a painting of a pointing finger...
weird...

i am Reyla's grandfather:
grandma...
mummy bear honey bear i ****
you like a teenage girl
i ******* like a teenage girl
baby
my 56 year old whale; blubber
mother: *** so dearest:
i'm implosion:
correct grammar:
i implode:
i'd implosive: a double-be

i love your dearest,
i love you
i love you
i love
you

Looking on the past year,
I couldn't change a thing,
Throughout all the fights and arguments I would call here,
It also brought forth joy like a warm note on a nylon guitar string.

I saw my sons birth,
Where he held my finger in that operating room,
Where the strength of this newborn titan laid me low,
Tears of joy springing unburden to my eye,
Carrying me to a great height I never knew before.

I got to see him take his first steps,
Hear his first word,
And see all the other firsts along the way.

Every one worth the trials of life,
Working to support us,
Put myself through college,
Waking at 4,
Coming home at 8,
And sleeping at 12,
Working for 15.30,
And slogging hard for 2.

You were mad at my doggedness,
Angry at ignoring myself,
I know I waylaid my own needs too much,
Put too much on my own shoulders,
And sometimes I still do.

I promised you the world,
And I can like to think I can at least give you the parts of it you want.

Only now do I realize that the parts in question are not as big as I once thought.

Our Ghost tonight,
Sits with me,
******* down Parliaments,
And bearing the words of Crosby, Stills, and Nash,
Singing of a ghost all their own.

Hovering in the periphery,
A constant watcher,
Constant companion,
Constant 2nd,
Constantly hoping to be 1st.

Cuckolded in emotions,
Unknowingly,
Which makes it worst I suppose,
Being torn apart by unrequited feelings,
Unknown indifference.

A gossamer-thin whisp of a thing,
That ghost at the edge of the vision,
Ever present but unseen,
Speak to me,
You have only but to speak,
To be seen!

The track ends,
I'm brought back,
Our spectral friend is gone,
Sneaking out as CS&N cries,
Making me wonder where they went

My tears shall never answer my please ....  
That ,which I want
Shall always remain
Penultimate reason
I fall to my knees.....
Love .........
Forgive me ......
I know not why I do these things .
.............
I appologize that's a lie .....
I do .......
In sin I know also
I try not to ...........give in ......
I know you still love me even though I do ......
Forgive me .......
My love if I could ask of thee ..
Let me speak directly to her heart...........
All geese and geeseings disapate...
Loose any memory of Her....
Then loose your mind and continue life in misery
Get in line for your torture enternaly and know where you go there is no outcome
Your existence will only be known by you ........
Forever erased from our memory.....
.......
And to you the one who .......
Captivates me ......
Allocate me your trust and love...
I pray thee
My love I shall endure what ever need be
to show you my love only grows continually
I will always be the one who will always keep you before me
Your love is my world .....
And I love living to love you......
You are  so delicate with your affections
My fear is when you do fall in love with me ........
My tears of joy would never end .........

Thank you my King
For everything I love you always in all ways ......
And especially for letting me speak to her heart directly

There’s something
to be said about quiet
and peace
It can calm the spirit
Clear the mind
Slow things down
The world is so hectic now
So much noise
Rarely silent
With social media
There’s always something
It’s hard to find a moment
Yet we all need it
Crave it really
That little bit of peace
It’s golden
And everything

There’s something
to be said about quiet
and peace
It can calm the spirit
Clear the mind
Slow things down
The world is so hectic now
So much noise
Rarely silent
With social media
There’s always something
It’s hard to find a moment
Yet we all need it
Crave it really
That little bit of peace
It refreshes us
Feeds inspiration
It’s golden
And everything