Head is too filled
    And slower to think
Shoulders are hunched
    As we’re nearer the brink
Knees shooting pain
    Start knocking in fear
Toes curl and hammer
    As ending draws near

The creatures emerge
in ones
and twos

Into brightness,
eyes blinking
to fight the glare

Grasses smothered
all winter
regain their hues

And cool wisps
of ozone
enliven the air

As groups congregate
within
the scene

The joy
of lost burdens
revives the Song

And the finely forged
freedom
you glean

Is the motive
for living
and loving this throng

My dearest one
Put down that gun
You’ll have what you are after
The dopamine
And you’ll be seen
Relaxed and full of laughter

My truest love
Sent from above
Please resist the potion
Steel your nerves
And all the curves
Will freeze; there’ll be no motion

My sugar plum
You’ll be made numb
If you ingest the snake oil
Grit your teeth
And far beneath
Your feet will shift the loose  soil

In your cage
I can’t assuage
Your sadness and your longing
My truest prayer
Will pierce your lair
A new era is dawning

I dried up mentally
No more flow
The ideation ceased
         rising up from down below

Sick in the head so I’m
Trying once again
To put a little something
        down on paper with pen

I trip through each
                                  hair trigger trap

As I
        hurl
                my weakened will

Crawling from pleasure
                                           to pleasure
                        
                     Unable to set a course
                ...with mere intention

My corrections only
          change my heading
                      by fractions of degrees

~ need intervening  intervention

You should create
Write something down
Sing something out
Paint something golden

Make a new thing
Take hold of your voice
Or unique way of seeing
Your impulses, bolden

Your ideas are butterflies
That want to be caught
Grab your idea net!
Do what you ought!

Share with the world
Before they fly away
(If you wait too long,
they may fly away)

So what, you think it's already been done?
"Nothing is new under the sun"...
That may (or may not?) be truly true,
But no one has done it EXACTLY like you

My sweet lady, I’m off kilter,
Wooed by all your lovely charms,
Here’s some maca for your philter,
Need to have you in my arms

Want your loving legs around me,
Want your loving arms as well,
Have to say your curves astound me,
Got to make your sailor swell,

Want to voyage through your straits,
Lovely portal made of jade,
Let my tongue throw wide the gates,
And let the choicest love be made

Let me sing you lovely music,
Let me try to make you swoon,
Here’s my flesh (O please abuse it!),
While my eyes reflect the moon

Lover laughing lovely there,
Behind your smiling eyes so deep,
In my mental pictures fair,
Close my eyes to try to keep,

Each new moment we’re entwined,
For each one seems to top the last,
Hold me close and expand my mind,
Draw me near, and hold me fast

Long, long ago
More than a few grandmothers back
The eye of Mr. Strachan
Was drawn to one Miss Jex
Out for an airing
With pipe and tree
Moss and rock
Water of the Awen
Began to flow
And his quill flitted
Across the leaf
As the veery thrush song
Spiraling through the air
Stultified him there
In his personal sanctum
‘Neath pine and locust
And glints in orbs
Foretold the progeny to come
The rabbit-cart-man
That hard-working peasant
Claustrophobia and smoke rings
Whiskey with sweet and smoky notes
Industrial accidents
Morality lessons
Spiced with misinformation
And hearty laughter before and after
And all led toward my creation

To survive this last dreary winter
I hid inside my cell
I fed my eyes and ears false joy
To alleviate the swell

To pass this last lonesome winter
I hid inside my phone
And pushed the earbuds in so far
I never felt alone

To endure this last lonesome winter
I journeyed through my head
And it's almost like I jumped right past
The fear of being dead

To last through long lingering cold
I lit a little flame
And pulled the products of combustion
Up into my brain

To make it through it would've helped
If I had still been young
I had a small square paper door
I placed atop my tongue

To Last and First, now let me say,
Preferring Z's to A's,
I wish I didn't get caught up
Reviewing yesterdays

I long for the Omega
When we shall all be one
And I will catapult past Vega
And melt into the Son

To get through next year's winter
I'll need your guiding hand
Isolation didn't work
As well as I had planned

Though inner space was quite immense
I'll turn to face your gaze
And trip and traipse through forest dells
Where your beloved prays

In a minute I’ll start again,
It’s the same as it has always been;
With every human’s desire to change,
This whole world of women and men.

Mere cell death has changed me:
Shedding and shredding and shedding this skin
Looking but longing for old points of view;
Looking without what was once within.

Here, with a passing glance,
Chance has shown a glimpse of the true,
For you aren’t a bit who you were before,
Go forth and rejoice for the updated you!

Have you ever had a pivotal moment,
When suddenly all the world seemed to shift?
And everything that you once thought true,
Just left you lost, out at sea, adrift...

In a minute I’ll start again
It’s the same as it always has been
A world with blinders bustles about
Without the courage to look within.

Come back to me
     From that vague memory
Those hazy retreats
     With singing and sweets

The word in my hand
     From memory, bland

I can't imbibe so much as a word

Oh pleasantry
     Come back to me
Plunge me deep beneath the river
Fond behemoth, make me shiver!

Hold me down... Hold me under
     Hark! The curtain torn asunder!

But the darkness is spread
     I lie in my bed

I can't imbibe so much as a word

I've children who yearn
     To learn and to learn
But what have I here?
     Doubt and great fear

What will this burning fire do?
     Should I try to paint it true?
Will it burn them, burn them up?
     If they choose to drink this cup?

These giant bones-
Where are they from?
How came they here to my English home?

To Uncle Chuck’s
Curiosity chest - the strangest treasures
In all the West

Grandmothers’ faiths
Don’t correspond.   A fresh new narration
Is sent from beyond

And small variations
Throughout the years, demand supplications;
Precipitate fears

Perhaps he’ll unlock it,
His eyes how they shine...when showing the locket,
The poisonous spine,

The shrunken head,
And the mummy’s finger, fill us with dread
The memories linger

The showman will bow,
As he locks them away, but seared in our brains,
These images stay

Warbling whistling crooning chirping chanted serenade

Harmonizing humming hymns

Yodeling in the shade

Gasping groaning grieving murmuring moaning crying pant

Undulating swelling swirling

See the sickening slant

Human Chimneys

Through which pour

All the art and all the gore

Make up the roof of this place

The mystic bog of music and mace

Spice magma made of eurekas & filaments

Lightbulbs like butterflies the primary elements

The pressures from moments build up a good head

And up flies the lava through the living and dead…

By pure chance some catch it, latch-on to a wee bit

Of phoenix-hatchlings, which then briefly will sit

Upon chimney-headed free paupers of soul

So when one’s lips touched to that coal

Seraphim tongs, red-orange glow

From out of this mouth

New paintings

Did flow

I fell for a time,    ...and damaged my mind

Forgetting, for a spell
                               What makes us feel well

Having forgotten,
                           It makes me feel rotten

When body runs down,
                            Then I don a frown.

Remembered  today
                     What makes it go ‘way:

You’ve just got to move;
                       To get in the groove.

For body and mind
                  Aren’t separate, I find.


If one or the other’s neglected, my brothers,

Then suffers each one
                          For since they begun

Inextricably chained,
                   These two remained

If psyche is blue,
          Then body is too,

And if you repair,
           The body, mon frere,

It turns out that you
     Can fix the mind too!

And so, after years of tax and toil
I return my body to the earth
My shell to nourish the darkened soil
I’ve loved and lived upon since birth
 
I believe I am both matter and spirit
Not just dust returning to dust
There’s a deep music that, when you hear it
Awakens you to th’ eternal ******
 
Like husk of seed, is decomposed
To let the plant unfurl, renewed
Like seed to plant is juxtaposed
My ghost, from flesh becomes unglued

Avoiding magic,
Elf, and bowl...
Nothing’s tragic
If made whole

Avoidance carries
Heavy loads
The miracle tarries,
Mind implodes

But winged creatures
Want dire things
Say earnest preachers
Who pull off wings

Perhaps the church
Should be avoided
And left in a lurch
As Christ destroyed it

When he read
From the scroll
Turns of head
All eyes did roll

The spirit is upon me
I’ve been anointed
To set captives free
I’ve been appointed

And as he put the scroll away
He uttered aloud, almost in song:
“These words are fulfilled in me today”,
Infuriating the offended throng

Leaving chins
Upon the floor
Churchy grins
Appear no more

They move as one
To chase him off;
To Him, what fun,
The shout and scoff

He looked not proud
On the brow of the hill
Passed through crowd
All felt a chill

For this, perhaps
Is how He loved
The cards collapsed
And all were moved

I dreamed I saw your grandmother’s ghost

She was smiling at me, and looked vital

When the dream took a turn,

I woke up with a start,

And longed to see

Yours

~

But you did not appear,

I only tossed and turned,

Struggling to quiet myself,

And get into the right state;


                      The correct position


    And the proper breathing



                   For seeing ghosts

~

I miss you.

+

I pray you are romping
In Elysian Fields

Further up and further in
I will see you anon

I was in the middle
Fiddling with my head
Dreading every step
Trepidation fear and dread

All at once it hit me
We’re all inside this flow
Knowing you, I should’ve seen
Gleaned the twist, but no

I was blind again
When I looked within
Sin and death were lurking there
Where then should I begin?

All at once you revealed
Sealed secrets of the past
Lasting truths I’d forgotten
Penning me in at last

I went down to “Eros”, sore,
And found that the Devil lived.

Every hour will emit time,
With the wolf flow and the ****-gals,

All decaf faced and sad,
Smug gums grinned and snarled,

Re-reviled deliverer,
You always stressed desserts,

Jesus was a Liberal,
He partied with the rabble,
He’d a brazen disregard for the law,
 
So said the Pharisees...
They thought him full of heresies;
He was stuck firmly in their craw…
 
They thought him radical and tragic
But didn't know the DEEPER magic,
"Let's trap this friggin' upstart", said they
 
His father, a staunch conservative,
Set down some rules, preservative
Of people that he chose back in the day.
 
*Then there’s the Holy Spirit, or "Hoppy" as he likes to be called,
 
He’s harder to pin-down politically… and he has no time for tarrying,
 
On social issues, he's had no comment, or none has yet been scrawled,
 
But rumor has it he's backing the Libertarian

Xanax is the devil
When mixed with too much drink
And so is escitalopram
That is what I think

    These things conspire to change your vibe
    And now it seems if you imbibe
    The smallest teensy tiny touch
    Of *****, it’s ...still a bit too much...

Seems my Dear has disappeared,
And swaying in her place
Another person, as I feared,
Without the charm; without the grace,

    I cannot stand my latest role:
    Authoritative scolding troll
    And I, not knowing what to do
    Retreat into a deep dark blue

It’s just amazing that
    A simple hat
Can transform me so

I put that pork-pie on
    And the spark’s begun
So let’s start the show

-

Looking for subtle phrases
    And all my graces
They seem to shine

Just wearing heart-on-sleeve
    And I still believe
That the words aren’t mine


Oh
          Where’d they
Come from?
                         Not me!
              I’m dumb.

-

I play here every night
    If I’m feeling right
So please come on by

My smooth responsive band
    Makes it all seem planned
When they’re primed and high

           -

But if you listen close
    You can hear the prose
Is a bit too loose

Mark plays his tight guitar
    An unheard-of star
In his wing tipped shoes

-

Oh

          Who needs
   An audience?
                       They’d be
           Applauding us.
                
-

    And I’m just fine to be here in this place
    Where the rain can’t touch our chilly faces

And we can bless or we can sort of derange
We can play Roc-city for pocket change



    It’s just so weird and funny that
    I can be transformed by this magical hat

And I wouldn’t change a single note
As it’s ushered forth from my scratchy throat

Throbbing twinge
To blinding light

Doubling over

Pinioned, you'll hover
For a moment

The trap is set
All it takes is a tiny misstep

Just an inch
And the bone and sinew

Unhinge
...
Like a snubbed lover

Crippling and crumpling
My very form

To this spot on the pavement
Where I squirm comically

Attempting to right myself
Useless.

I resolve to keep moving

Grit teeth
Eyes squeezed shut

The elusive sigh of relaxation
Seems like a long forgotten myth

The fog is all-pervasive
From here, it shades every vista

I thought it was was perhaps a smudge on my lenses
Or, considering the betrayal from my other faculties,
the beginning of the dimming that comes with age,

But my glasses were clean, and my eyes, but for the floaters, were clear

The edges fade as the settling fog
             reduces my view to impressionism

The streetlights pass at irregular intervals and I hold to my position at the end of the undulating line of red tail lights

When the flow finally becomes laminar, I am relieved,

Feeling like I'm making the jump to light speed as the beacons fly past,
Finally finding their proper rhythm

Pain in chest
Pounds and with
Each inhale
Stabs of lightening
Like I swallowed a taser

One glance skyward
And then I shift my position

Death might not be all that bad
Just the sharp pains leading up to it