Tears Cascade my cheeks
Streams of regret
I hate myself more today than yesterday for missing you
while you
celebrate the fourth of July
with him
campfires
fireworks
and family secrets chased down with
cold beers.
Attempt to maintain the facade...
Everything is fine.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Refuse to panic.
.
Floating on oceans of your betrayal
Your silence is deafening.
Time creeps like a shark in deep waters
I dream
of
abandoned cities
rotting landscapes
and
... you
Caressing your frigid cheek as you lye in your casket
I dread the day I lose you
(I've already lost you)
Train my mind not to think about that.
Train my mind not to think about you.
My heart, a stubborn child, refuses to forget.
Beating slowly,
beckoning these bruised and clumsy bones to get out of bed.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Refuse to panic.
One foot in front of the other
Learn how to walk this life without you
My friends assure me,
"it's okay to not always be okay"
September 1st : 12 am
I await a call I'm certain will never arrive
Sing to myself instead
It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to
Inhale.
Exhale.
Refuse to panic.
Teach myself to like being alone.
Block you on Facebook.
Teach my myself to feel the sun
and hear the birds again.
Tell myself
I am strong.
Tell myself
I don't need anyone.
Fake it til you make it.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Refuse to panic.