You slate me again,
and I'll take your name apart letter by letter,
Until your left to nothing but a sobbing mess,
as your infected, rotten heart eats away at your skin,
Weeping out of your chest.

You didn't like the fact I had leg hair,
So I showed you my armpit hair too,
Then you grimanced in utter disgust,
Just how shallow are you?

This natural thing that grows,
All over your body aswell,
Has you cringing and backing away,
Are you tangled up in some hair like hell?

Do you scream when you see beards?
Or carry a razor everywhere you go?
You've got to get the stupid idea out of your head,
That on ladies hair doesn't grow.

I'm slowly cascading down a spiraling staircase,
you can all hear my body hit step after step.

I think a few bones are broken,
but nevermind just carry on.

I finally reach the ground,
body ****** and bruised,
just like my heart was,
when you left me used.

You were unexpected,
And I like that.

We can sit in comfortable silence,
Not having a word to say.
But it would seem like we had a whole conversation,
Residing around our day.

Our hearts beat in sync,
You're magic to me.
I just hope we don't shrink,
Because you're my perfect cup of tea.

We're going nowhere,
Like a car that's broken down,
Or a king that's stopped his reign,
Cause someone's smashed his crown.

Or we're playing a bored game,
But you don't realise it's your turn,
So I wait and I wait,
As my insides rot and my thoughts churn.

I've tried to be patient,
But my heart is wearing thin,
Cause if you don't bother at all,
How'd you expect us to win?

I've tried my best,
But it's your turn now,
So don't just sit there baffled,
Like I'm the one who's made you frown.

Then I saw your skeleton,
And everything was clear.
You'd never loved me,
Like you said you did for a year.
So on with my journey,
I may never find the one.
But at least I can try to get there,
Having my share of fun.

It's far too hot.
I've opened the window,
But it hasn't helped much.

I can feel the cold breeze,
But nothing seems to be working.

A book in my hand,
Trying to distract myself,
No not from the heat,
But from your absence.

Sometimes when I'm trying to sleep,
I hear the names of people whispered into my ear.
The great characters that I will meet,
And the horrible ones I shouldn't go near.

I think about where life is going,
Completely freaking myself out,
Knowing my friends like when it's raining or snowing,
But my minds in an endless drought.

The hearts I've met with their steady rhythms,
Some black but most red,
Remind me of the feigned smiles I have given,
As their emotions infiltrated my head.

If you're sensitive to the people around you,
It's best to be on your own for a trial,
Until you finally meet somebody new,
Who makes all your patience worthwhile.

We danced around the room,
In nothing but our socks,
Receiting weird poetry,
Whilst listening to prog Rock.

Some people are missing out,
When they don't have a friendship as bizarre as ours,
Cause when we lie on the floor staring at the ceiling,
We the see the night sky and the stars.

I’ve never been good with feelings,
But then neither have you.
Especially when you’ve got a mother,
Who criticises everything you do.

Tears seem to stream,
Whenever she’s involved,
It seems neither of my parents want me,
And I’ve never felt so unloved.

The chief of vessels,
Here he lingers still,
gormless and ruthless,
guilty and ill.

The matriarch will protect you,
courageous and fair.
Swords may dive around and above too,
But she will not flinch, She will not care.

This omen is an old friend,
One we have learnt to disguise ourselves from,
Bonded by blood they may be,
But their blood is cursed and wrong.

A jester jumps entertaining us,
Distract yourself from historys doing,
Whilst the matriarch guards the doorway,
The chief is left to ruin.

I recall the memories,
biting down ******* my thumb,
as you tried to hide your deceit with smiles,
to sugar-coat all you'd done.

But I have sensitive ears that listen,
and as you spoke I heard the venom drip,
from your tongue cascading onto the carpet,
as the rough fabric burned with a violent hiss.

Then the smell of the smoke that was poisonous,
as your acidic words swirled in the air,
you grinned wide showing all your rotten teeth,
decaying from the sweetener you'd placed there.

She doesn't read my poetry,
And throws away my stuff.
She cannot stand my music,
I think I breathe too much.

The bile I stutter from my tongue,
Is nothing compared to hers.
She's a wasp and I am stung,
But she's only using her words.

The selfishness she commandeers,
It does nothing but hurt me so.
As she cuts her skin destroying herself,
She only let's me know.

I know you think yourself wilted,

Caged by fear and doom,

But one day you'll see you're a sunflower,

Bright and in full bloom.

It's hard to stress over little things,
Your opinions nothing new.
One hint of truth and snakes bite stings,
The world is bigger than you.

Should we head onwards towards our future?
Make the best of what we've got.

Or set our sights on new beginnings,
And face the ragnarok.

You're a good for nothing thief.
A pathogenic liar having a good day,
Your filthy hands taking all I have away,
You smile at me with happiness,
Big grin thumbs up.
You were the only person I ever thought I could trust.

My Nephew won't stop wailing.

And I thought my Mothers laugh could wake the dead.

And then you told your Mother,
That you wanted to quite,
But she wouldn't accept it, no.
Perfect you must fit.

You're crying and your sister,
Tells you you're ok.
So you smile like she told you to,
As your inside decays.

All the rumours are,
That you kissed me in the dark,
Cause everybody thinks I'm gay with you.

But the truth has always been,
That our behaviour is obscene,
Especially in front of heteronormative views.

So I'm going to hold your hand in public,
And super glue your heart back together,
Because that boy ripped you apart,

Which means I'm here to make you better.

I don't like you,
or the way that you think.

I detest your judgemental brain,
An empty vessel, like The Titanic you sink.

I feel empty,
Mumbling my own name in warning.

You have abused your heart too many times,
Now it's timid and doesn't want to play games anymore.

You trusted those you knew you couldn't,
And told yourself you were fine.

But now your heart is so torn apart,
It can't even be stitched back together.

So you sit on the bus home,
Dead in the eyes,
As another passing stranger takes a worried glance.

Should I be happy she's in love?
When he left me on a full moon and took all his stuff.

My friend boasts and gloats that she's happy,
Does she not have the slightest sympathy?
It's like she's saying "He left you for me look how happy we can be".

So I just stand back and stare,
The salt she rubs into my wound lingering everywhere.

It's three in the morning,
And I'm sat up in bed.
My head constantly repeating,
All the things you said.

I never thought,
That it would be you.
The one to judge and scrutinize,
Everything I do.

I never tell you things,
Because secrets you cannot keep,
And if you were an ocean,
I'd be drowning deep.

Your lips were soft and sweet,
But they only disguised the sour poison,
That lingered on your tongue.

Today I found a Mouse,
Shocked on my lounge floor,
I don't remember inviting him in,
And if there's one there must be more!

I swear my cats give out free passes,
To all these little mice,
Or maybe they pay an entrance fee,
That's of an extortionate price.

But whatever their reason for being here,
I wish that they would leave,
Because I'm sure they'd be much happier,
Outside in the shade of the trees.

And if it's food that they're looking for,
I don't really eat much fruit,
Along with seeds, Grains, I can't grow plants,
So my house isn't that enticing to tell the truth.

However this little Mouse,
Sat on my lounge floor,
Only had half a tail,
And his foot looked rather sore.

So I picked him up gently,
And placed him outside,
In the gap between the grass and Wendy house,
A safe space where he could hide.

And now in the night,
He visits me for little chunks of cheese,
As I hear his dainty feet scatter,
Along the floor to return with the breeze,

That's irrelevant.
You caused this war,
You, Your money,
And fat ******* *****.

He sips his fruit smoothie,
Then inhaling his cigarette,
How contradictory can someones life get?

I have not got writers block,
It has not lasted for days.
I have not been miserable,
Digging my own grave.

I have idea where I'm going,
So a street I will pave.
My ****** features seem distorted,
Do you think I'm brave?

Facing my own Demons,
When attention is all I crave.

I'm all alone in this big empty house,
But no one seems to care.
I swear people are so selfish,
although I am too so I guess that's fair.

I've spent most of my time listening to music,
Mainly because I hate silence and my mind is screaming.
I swear my sister was supposed to come round today,
although that could have just been me dreaming.

I've drunk far too much coffee,
and am on a caffeine buzz,
so all the books I'm reading keep jumping out at me,
Reminding me I'm stupid and I'm in love.

I went out for the day to refresh my mind,
But I come home to white noise,
the radio playing obnoxiously loud,
Trying to fill an empty void.

I'd never want to live alone when I'm older,
I'd get far too depressed,
Because family have only been away for 2 days,
And I haven't got the effort in me to get dressed.

Busy yourself with writing,
Poetry, Music, whatever.
Smother yourself with the enlightening vision,
Of two people being together.

Stifle yourself with feelings,
And never let them know.
That the sea you're swimming in is freezing,
And they're the undertow.

Can I please ask you a question?
My intentions are not bad I promise,
Just a little bolder then they where before.
These pieces of my heart are a jigsaw,
And it seems you've memorised every one.
I know that sometimes you get fed up,
You have enough of me,
No more will to complete my picture.
But Darling I promise,
If you keep persevering I will be complete,
Just find that missing piece.
Then we will eventually,
Fit perfectly.

I want to scream at you,
Really Really loud,
Because you tore my family apart,
Without making a sound.

You smiled so care free,
As you ****** someone elses wife,
And so to your neck,
I want to take a knife.

I am so angry,
My blood is boiled to the brim.
You've caused so much heartache,
From one single sin.

The hands that once caressed her skin,
Are now making bruises,
And you soon found out that different woman,
Have different uses.

I want to put a gun to your temple,
And tell you not to cry,
Because you turned my mother bitter,
As I watched my sister die.

So as you roll in your money,
Smiling in foreign places,
And you **** your ***** on balconies,
Because you can't remember our faces.

Know that we will never love you,
Because you were never here,
To hold us when we were born,
Or to keep us safe and near.

You have no say in how we were raised,
You're the reason we're wary of men,
Because you were never a father,
And you were never a friend.

"Your selfish heart can't have me!",
Because it's decaying and turning black,
And if you never loved me,
How do you expect me to love you back?

Find something to do.
Write yourself a poem,
Ignore your emotions,
They're not worth knowing.
Try to control your mind,
Try to control your voice,
Look as if in this world you actually have a choice.
Pity me for crying,
Get angry when I yell,
Just get me out ,
Of this earth like hell.

I don't feel a thing,
When people say they love me,
Cause I can feel the weight,
Of all the hearts above me.

Slowly bleeding out,
Everyone must know,
I can't feel the cold,
Even when it snows.

My senses are broken,
Pins and needles all the time,
And at this very moment,
I'm finding it hard to rhyme.

I don't understand,
What's going on?
Why do I only write,
Really sad songs?

Now I don't mean to scare you,
But I wouldn't get too close,
Because the last that did,
Couldn't feel the rope around their throat.

To comprehend the idea of freedom,
Thrown around me in retort,
Goes along the path of reason,
The very thing that I was taught.

Unbeknownst to me this beginning,
Built up of loss and flames,
Brings me courage to carry on winning,
Lifes ever changing games.

I bring you chance of please and pardon,
A route not yet walked by,
Snakes slither round you in this garden,
But you do not flinch or cry.

From broken bones and desperate illusions,
To a place to rest and drink,
We open our minds to other conclusions,
The worlds bigger than we think.

Her beautiful face was burning,
From your words spat like acid.
Her shape to be reconstructed,
Because you didn't like the way it flared out.

As if she is not allowed to control her destiny,
Because "Being allowed is a privilege."
But her face is melting like a candle,
Wax splattering on the floor.

You tell her not to make such a mess,
As you degrade her down more

This relationship is poisonous,
Flowing through her bloodstream,
That used to be pure and healthy.

Ah, You tell me that you love her,
But this is not love,
When she states her opinion,
And you stop her with a hardened shove.

Her face is still melting!
Can you not see?
That all the things you do,
Just end in catastrophe.

Tired eyes fight to stay open,
This bus is far too cold,
People shuffling with awkward words spoken,
Most of us are on our phones.

This bus driver is a grumpy *******,
So he's just about ruined my day,
I haven't even got to College yet,
And I want the world to go away.

This routine is comforting,
As I know where I need to be,
But that doesn't mean it's not boring,
Morning's are tedious to me.

The air is cold and biting,
And I've got holes in my gloves,
Same goes for my shoes,
As the rain cascades from above.

I will not confine myself anymore.
There are far too many people here,
And this box is getting crowded.

There are shadows of people I knew,
Reserved spaces for people I will meet,
But I have barely got any room left.

Don't you dare try to control me.
I survive for me and me alone,
I happily live in my box.

But there is no more room!
How can I breathe in a crowded box?
Self doubt is crippling me.

And before I know it,
I am trapped inside myself.

We were supposed to fly together,
Soar through the sky against the wind.

Let the breeze lift you up,
Accept the weather conditions.

But you didn't like the fact it was snowing,
So you fell hurling downwards,
And cracked your head on the concrete.

You told me you wanted to talk,
So I asked "what about?"
Then you avoided the question completely,
As if I'd began to shout.

I don't see the point in keeping secrets,
When it all is revealed in the end,
And is it worse for it to be revealed,
To your enemy or to your best friend?

You cannot oppress your feelings,
and that is perfectly fine,
So just let people know,
One person at a time.

You gave me a pocket watch,
I remember what you said.

"As time goes by I'll always love you, even when I'm dead."
I thought your words vague,
They didn't make much sense.

When you smiled you at me,
Your lips where chapped,
Like you used love in pretense.

You're worth more than your anxiety tells you,
Those voices are not real.

I'll shut them up with my love for you,
Reminding you how to feel.

She was the one with curly hair,
If you played with fire,
You'd get the demon eyed glare.

Everything is breaking.

Why won't you help me?

He danced like an idiot,
Just a clash of uncontrollable limbs,
And an array of contorting ****** expressions.

We stretched out our wings,
Soaring remarkably high,
But then you tumbled down,
Because you kept wondering why,

Then when you finally crash landed,
I fixed your broken wing,
With hugs, kisses and duct tape,
Soothing your wounds so they didn't sting.

She stomps, She cries,
She throws things.
She curses and pulls your hair.

She's dying, She's lying,
She's loosing,
She's broken beyond repair.

She wails, She screams,
She torments you.
On your ankles a ball and chain.

She frustrates, She enrages,
She degrades you.
Like she's the only one with a brain.

She contorts, She distraughts,
She impairs you.
In this vile and twisted plot.

You resent, You dislike,
You don't need her.
She's everything that you're not.

You're selfless, You're graceful,
You're lovely,
You're more valuable than you think.

So next time there's another hole in her lifeboat,
Perhaps you should let her sink.