I don't know if I loved you,
or if I loved being in love.
Maybe my ego hurt more than my heart,
cause I feel like for you I wasn't enough.
I don't know if I miss your fingers on my skin,
or only being so sweetly touched.
Perhaps you weren't the one,
but just one within much.
I don't know if I was happy with you,
or just glad to be in someone's heart.
It might not be what love was supposed to be,
but in fact, simply a false start.

It's sad because I can't talk to you about love
Instead we talk about stupid films,
The ones we will never watch together 
We talk about stories,
But not ours, never 
You look at me while I look away
And it *****
Because all I wanted was to tell you 
How cute your smile is
How the weight of your stare affects me 
And all I want is to hold your hand
But now, as I think of you 
I choose to be silent 
Silence is okay 
Silence is louder

but you're not.
the same **** words again
i don't know how i could take
it for so long
you said you'd be there by
my side
and yet you're not;
you said i could cry on your
jacket when i needed to
but you're not here
you're not here when i need
you
a child, abandoned in a cardboard
box-
look where you've put me
without knowing that
you're the the only thing that
can dry my tears and
make me feel comfortable
i thought you'd actually
be there
i guess i was just too dumb
to believe that you'd leave-
and too worn out to think
you'd come back.