She is so weird
She is so weird
She is so weird

The other girls all float around with their eyes painted like cats,
Rounded with black and flicked up at the end, but she
Swims with
her eyes painted like fish
One little flick down
One little flick up at the
End and
The other girls whisper about her
Saying

She is so weird
She is so weird
she is so weird

because
She has watercolor lips
In pretty shades of pink
Not sharp
And
Red
Like the other girls
She is not a collection of edges and shadows, she is
Soft and

She is so weird
She is so weird
She is so weird

She looks dreamy
And sometimes
Confused
The other guys whisper that
There is
Not much there
In her head
And that

she is So weird
She is so weird
She is so weird

She has three black lines embedded in the
Side of the
skin on her neck
Stacked like deep
Vs lined under
Each other and once I asked her
If they were birds in flight
Or gills
And she laughed
It wasn’t cruel
She pulled me close
And whispered both
With a smirk
And then she smiled wide
And shook her head and told me
That

I Am so weird
I am so weird
I am So weird

And though I knew it was an insult
When the cats whispered it
It wasn’t one when it came from the fish

I'm sitting in a bathtub
And it's midnight,
I'm trying not to drown myself
But I'm already drowning
Like the fact that I'm all alone
And I don't want to go back
To where I used to call home
Because I'm not missed there anymore
And I wish that I could say the same
But I'm missing the doll-like faces
Stuck in porcelain places
It's just a stupid memory
Of being  happy
And I know it isn't real
But maybe it could have been
Maybe I'm just an idiot
Because everyone has moved on
To bigger things and bigger people
And I have not

You say you still want to talk
I think it's better if we don't
Don't worry, I'm fine
My heart is just a bit broke

Shaky, stuttered breaths
Like there's no oxygen left
That's what you do to me
I'm sitting in the hallway on the stairs
It's like I was never even there
The light is dim
But I don't care
I wish you were here
To clear
My blurry, sloppy tears

They told me that my memories of you
Would soften with time
I thought that maybe the storm might
Calm down to a drizzle
Maybe the wildfire might
Die down to a single flame
Maybe the dagger
Would go dull
But my expectations of these memories
Were not the best
Because this storm is now a hurricane
And this wildfire has gone and burned down all of the mountains and the valleys
And this dagger
Is a razor blade at my throat,
I'm gonna choke
On this memory
Of you and me
I'm just a shell of who I used to be
Is time our greatest enemy?
Or was I yours,
And yours me?

Either way it's killing me.

sometimes when we fight I just want to hear you say
i love you, please don't walk away

I noticed a slight change in our relationship.
In the old days,
I would apologize for bothering you
and you would say I wasn't.

But now,
If I apologize for bothering you,
you say it's fine.

I guess I am a bother now.
I'm gonna stop bothering you.

I have known her my entire life, yet I will never understand her reluctance to live.

i am so self absorbed
i am basically a sponge
and you are a sink full of water
i will take all of you without even realizing it,
without even trying to because
that is just what i do

I will romanticize the things that I am
in poems.
Maybe then I can trick you into falling in love with me.