Am I a human being?
Or am I a robot?
You assigned me five mandates
Three of which, are more difficult
Than even clearing the IIT-JEE
And even the remaining two
Pose a considerable challenge
Though far from insurmountable
Nevertheless, what makes you think
That I have the capability
The skills
And the stamina
To successfully pull off such a mammoth task?

Am I a human being?
Or am I a robot?
You expect quality
You expect speed
And you expect numbers
At the same time
Is this not like having the cake
And eating it too?

Am I a human being?
Or am I a robot?
I am working on five mandates
And racing against time
Every single day
In order to send a couple of resumes
For each mandate
No matter how hard I try
I always end up falling behind
That too by a mile
What makes you think
That I can successfully handle even three mandates
Let alone five?
Let me ask you again
Am I a human being?
Or am I a robot?

Two days of hard toil
Searching through portal after portal
Company after company
And speaking to candidate after candidate
And what I am left with
Is nothing
Absolutely nothing to show for my efforts
One candidate doesn't find the role exciting enough
Another candidate loses interest
After hearing the name of the client
The next one is not looking for a job in the first place
For the one that comes after
Relocation turns out to be a deal breaker
And the rest of them are simply too busy
Too busy to even pick up the **** phone
However, I decide to keep at it
Only for the rejections to continue
One guy eventually shows a bit of interest
But he has too many questions
Questions that neither I can answer
Nor can my boss!
Of course, Recruitment is never an easy job
Especially when you are working in a startup
But to succeed in Recruitment for Investment Banking roles
You really need to pull off a Harry Houdini!!

May has been a really difficult month
I have worked my **** off
Hunting for the right candidates
For a few roles
Which have almost driven me mad
And at the same time
Handling a few other roles
Which have, admittedly, not been as difficult
As the ones mentioned above
But still require a certain amount of time
Time that is as rare and precious
As a drop of water
In the Sahara Desert
And after all my efforts
I expected to close
At least one of these roles
In fact, I was on the verge of doing so
However, as always
It is Recruitment
Which has ended up having the last laugh
Leaving me with nothing to do
But start all over again
And at the same time
My dear boss has decided to assign me another role
Thereby adding to the already huge burden
On my hapless shoulders
May has indeed been a really difficult month
But it appears to have been merely a prelude
To the tornado that June is going to be
If the last few days are anything to go by

I get a call from a friend
To whom I haven't spoken
In quite a while
All pleasantries done, we begin talking in right earnest
Catching up on each other
And reminiscing the good old days
When there was no pandemic
We're just over five minutes into the call
When there is a click
And the call drops all of a sudden
I call him back
And we continue from where we left off
However, after barely two minutes
My friend gets busy
Understandably, work is calling
I know the feeling well
After all, we're in the same boat
However, after a few hours
He calls back
And the conversation continues in right earnest
But, would you believe it?
After just over 5 minutes
The call drops, yet again
Way to go, Vodafone
You've just managed to ruin a conversation, twice
Mark my words
If there are any more call drops
Then it will be you
Who will be dropped, as a service provider

We've heard a lot about true love
Seen it in countless movies
Read about it in countless books
But does it really exist?
Well, I'd like to think that it does
You see, I'm speaking from experience
When I first fell in love
I felt like a bird
That had just sprouted wings
And was ready to take off
And experience the sheer joy and excitement
That comes naturally with flying
Especially if it's the first time
I felt like every single day
Was something to look forward to
And I managed to derive some interest
Even out of the most boring lectures
You see, I was doing my MBA then
Anyway, cutting to the chase
It ultimately turned out to be a case of unrequited love
But, as they say
It was totally worth it
My second tryst with love, though
Wasn't quite the same
Arranged marriage, love *** arranged marriage
You can call it whatever you like
But it doesn't change the fact
That it was never going to end well
To put it plainly
We were incompatible
And the eventual divorce
Was a blessing in disguise
I thus learnt the hard way
That it is not enough to be in love
And that is absolutely essential
To have things in common
The more, the better
So, coming back to true love
Does it really exist?
Well, my answer will remain 'Yes'
After all, I'm a hopeless romantic
And I'm not about to give up
Just because of one bad experience
I also believe
That it's a question of when, not if
And I happened to learn
Through a Facebook post
One out of countless posts that I've seen off late
That you shouldn't worry about finding the right woman
Just focus on being the right man

Dear Investment Banking
Why do you have to be so difficult?
I spend hours and hours
Days and days
And weeks and weeks
Searching every nook and corner
For some really good resumes
Which are as easy to find
As a drop of water
In the Thar desert
I speak to dozens and dozens of people
Some are not looking for jobs
Some politely decline
Upon hearing the name of the client
Some need time to think
And others don't even bother to respond
It's a cruel world indeed

Dear Investment Banking
Why do you have to be so difficult?
After a lot of frustration and heartburn
And helplessness and desperation in turn
I finally manage to find a good candidate
Who also happens to be interested
However, as expected, there is a catch
He hasn't updated his resume
And by the time he does it
We would have already lost the client
Thus, I have no choice
But to move on
And resume the search
Which is already looking tougher
Than clearing the IIT-JEE!
Dear Investment Banking
Why do you have to be so difficult?

We humans have messed around
With Mother Nature and her eco-system
For years and years
Decades and decades
Centuries and centuries
Felling gazillions of trees
Turning forests into concrete jungles
Filling ponds, lakes, rivers and seas
With tons and tons of toxic waste
Releasing enough carbon monoxide into the air
To wreck the entire troposphere
The list of sins against Nature goes on and on
With no end in sight
Given all this, who are we to complain
When Mother Nature has had enough
And unleashes her fury on us
Through earthquakes and tsunamis
Avalanches and volcanoes
Hurricanes and tornadoes
Floods and droughts
And so on
Remember, Mother Nature has blessed us
With oodles of riches
In the form of plants and trees
Mountains and forests
Ponds, lakes, rivers, seas and oceans
And last but not the least, oxygen!
It is time we show her some gratitude
And more importantly, respect and compassion
And stop messing around with the eco-system
Remember the famous old saying
Live and let live
It doesn't mean infrastructure shouldn't be developed
We can build roads
We can build a railway network
We can build houses
We can build schools and colleges
We can build hospitals
We can build libraries
However, as my grandfather used to say
There is a limit to everything
And we should also plant trees
Build gardens and parks
Switch to renewable sources of energy
And cut down severely on emissions
A balance should be maintained
After all, messing around with Mother Nature
Will only bring about our own downfall
There have been enough natural disasters
Caused by human negligence
Let's not add to the list
Which is already longer than the river Nile!