the first time i saw you that day,
your eyes were red and beneath them were puffy.
you blinked slowly and stared off into nothing.
i'm sure you were thinking of either nothing or everything,
maybe both at the same time.
i couldn't help but reach out to hold your hands.

for he only cries at night in the dark,

for his tears is not a show but all pain

no one could understand.

Break me,
i am already
shattered

Hate me,
i am already
loathed

**** me,
i am already
dead inside

What if I told you I was suicidal
I wanted to die
And that I hated my life
Would you still accept me?
I need help
Would you reach out to me?
Im starving myself
Would you feed me?
I couldn’t go on
Would you carry me?
I need someone to help me...
These thoughts go through my mind

sorry if i caused u unhappiness
u always seemed unhappy with me
unhappy of what i do
u don’t seem to show it
but i know it
and why
why are u so unhappy
it’s okay
u can leave any time u want
i already told u
but u still stay
and i don’t know why
its okay for people to leave in my life
because it seems so common to me
that it is nothing already
just leave
please
i don’t want to see u so unhappy

And its one year since our break up,

I hope that every morning when you wake up you don't think about me

I hope that every morning when you're in your bed you don't wait for my good morning wishes

I hope that every morning when you get confused you don't miss me for choosing the color of your dress

I hope that every morning when you eat your breakfast you don't care about whether or not i had mine.

I hope that every afternoon when you get bored you don't miss talking to me

I hope that every afternoon when you
need a little motivation you don't need my stupid motivational speech anymore to get motivated

I hope that every evening when you go for walk you don't miss holding my hand

I hope that every evening when you watch the sunset you don't need me to make you feel that you are more beautiful

I hope that every night when you need someone to share your feelings your heart doesn't call out my name

I hope that every night when you go to sleep you don't twist and turn in your bed and reread our old conversation

I hope that every night you have a reason to wake up for next day, A reason which isn't me.