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Ashanta Sep 2020
And then in a single night,
Everything,
The pain, the anger, the fears,
The sadness, the tears.
Just came crashing down.

And then you ask yourself,
That's all it took?
A single night? A single moment?
But there was nothing,
Just a big empty space and nothing in between.
I was going so great, a year plus clean of self harm, until this exact night.
Ashanta May 2020
Yes! I get it, I broke my promise,
But it's not like I wanted to.
Yes! I get it, I gave up on us,
But you also gave up on me.
Yes! I get it, I turned away,
And I've tried to be better, but you've changed.

I've own up to my lies,
I've been proving myself ever since.
I've given up on us, but not on you,
I've tried showing you that I'm getting better.
I gave up my self respect to earn yours,
All I need was you to see me.
Like you always did,
But you didn't and you broke all your promises.
You left me with my scars exposed,
Bleeding out red.
Now whose the betrayer now?

                                                   Ash
Ashanta Oct 2020
Dear heart,
I'm sorry for not listening,
I'm sorry for not waiting.
I'm sorry for giving you to the
person I'd thought would love you,
But he ended up breaking you instead.

Dear heart,
I'm sorry for the pieces he left behind,
Pieces i can't glue back together.
I'm sorry that your now default,
I hope one day you'll beat once more,
Like you used to beat before.
Ashanta Apr 2020
Don't tell me you love me,
If you don't see a future with me.
Don't let me fall for you,
If you're not planning on catching me.
Don't make me any promises,
If they're all just empty.

Don't make me feel loved,
If you're gonna use it against me.
Don't take my heart,
If you're just gonna break it.
Don't promise me forever,
When you really mean good bye.

                                                              Ash
Ashanta Aug 2020
For such a long time,
I've known nothing but pain.
My tears we're a burden,
And it was driving me insane.

But thanks to you and you're love for me,
I've  been happily with you for a year.
Thanks to you I can see,
Just how good life its and it's thanks to you.

Life with you is my everything,
For you've helped me heal.
You're my happiest and favorite sin,
And you've helped me deal.
Ashanta Apr 2020
All the stares,
I'm use to it.
All finger pointing,
I'm use to it,

Being betrayed,
I'm use to it.
Being replaced,
I'm use to it.

Being the second option,
I'm use to it.
And you might think I'm a waste of space,
But the truth is, I'm use to that too.
                      
                                                    Ash

— The End —