We both know we know and yet we don't know
I love like a fool
my first crush committed suicide.
i remember the hurt at a young age
from chasing him around his living room
begging him for a kiss.
from my young age i knew i wanted him
in my life forever.
through his weaves and gagging
running around the furniture and up the stairs,
losing him sounded foreign then
and having lost him now, still feels the same.
our fathers drank and our mothers giggled
born three months apart
our future planned together
both saying "i do"
uniting us all together.
life flew on by
us both fighting with ourselves
and downing the bottles underneath the bed
loaded and silenced
family portraits painted in red
long life memories all put to rest.
only one made it out alive
but it's hard to breathe
out of us how was it me
and you in a little box
where a diamond ring should be.
my mind keeps wondering
when will i stop chasing you
then my heart replays
every time you turned a corner
you looked over your shoulder
and how you smiled at me.
i miss you
Ones may say
Even when the sun is down
She can light up the day
Clear like water
Beautiful like the sky
living in utter
Yet when reality comes
Dark clouds creep in
And weakness in her bones
And emptiness comes to life
That loved and loving girl
Can love anyone but
hey look at that im lonely again
Is it possible to disappear in your thoughts?
'cuz I'm drowning
Why do I feel this way?
Why can’t you just get out of my head?
Why can’t I stop thinking?
Why do I still miss you?
Why can’t I do anything?
Why can’t I just live a good life?
Why can’t I find anyone?
Why does no one care about me?
Why does my life matter?
Why did You do what you did?
Why did I do nothing about it?
Why do I suffer?
Why did I just let you walk away?
Why can I still remember that day?
Why can’t I be happy?
Why can’t I be loved?
Why Do I Have To Keep On Living?
I wish I never met you. I wish that day never happened. I wish I never said I love you. That’s the hardest thing about it. It’s extremely hard just to forget about someone you loved for so long. And so much… I feel so abused and misused. Everything I did for you. Everything I got you was just to make you happy. And you just threw it away and gave it to someone else. I was in love with you. I wish I can forget you. I wish I can fly.
I forget what it feels like to be happy.
I forget what it feels like to be loved.
I forget what it feels like to love.
I forget what it feels like to love myself.
I forget what it feels like to be able to make someone happy.
I forget what life was like with you.
I forget what life was without you.
I forget what it feels like to trust.
I forget what it feels like to be open.
I forget what it feels like to be pain free.
I forget a lot,
But I cant forget you.
— The End —