Anna - Hello Poetry

Dec 2014

Shyanna Ashcraft

Maybe I've Broken You (And Baby I'm Sorry)

So maybe I've broken you,
And baby I'm sorry,
But honey I couldn't continue,
With the lies I told myself,
Because it wasn't fair to you,
Or to anybody else.

And maybe I should focus on,
The pain that I was feeling,
Or the things I'm struggling on.
It wasn't easy for me either,
But I couldn't just go on,
With trying to convince myself.

And really, I was in denial.
"You love her, you're crazy.
Just walk the line single-file"
When really, the love I held for you,
Was different, by a mile.
But really it wasn't that either.

At one point what I thought I felt, I did.
I used to really feel,
I fell head over heals for you I swear I did.
But It left,
Like a dead-beat dad leaves their kid.
And I'm sorry for that.

And so maybe I've broken you,
And baby I know I'm sorry.
But truly I'm broken, too,
And I have no right to be.
Because baby I've really broken you,
And it's broken me to know it was me who hurt you.

Written 12-14-14
Because she was just starting to be happy, and I think I ruined that.
Was it the right thing to do? To not lead her on? To break up with her the second I realized how truly we didn't fit? That she deserved better?
I believe so. But that doesn't make it hurt any less. It doesn't make the guilt go away. And right now she's a broken mess, and it's my fault. I may not want that kind of relationship, but I still freaking care.

#love #heartbreak #broken #sad #depression #heart #hurt #breakup #emotions #mixedemotions

Anna Dec 2014

20

Isn't it amusing how great the impact of love is?
That immediately after the tragic ending you decide to become someone else.
Because you feel like everything you've ever accomplished was carelessly demolished.
The little pieces that is left will try and fill in the spaces in you the next time you decide to fix yourself.
That is probably why a resemblance to the previous one is seen.
How? Why?
Because people like to explore.
That even if you know that you both will end up hurting each other you still try.
Because each of you is trying to prove that you are different.
Somehow forcing to show your uniqueness.
Due to the slight illusion of the love itself.

#heartbreak #hurt #thoughts #you

Anna Dec 2014

19

It is only when one feels the hurt
That one truly understands
That love is similar to a game of poker
It is sweet yet sorrowful at the same time
Slowly you allow yourself to focus in the poisonous goal of winning the game
That you forget the possibility of losing everything

Anna Nov 2014

Directions

Being in love
is the best feeling in the world
yet it can be the worst
for none has domion over the heart
none can dictate
nor can stop
someone from falling in love

All directions may reveal individual differences and ideals
Steer clear;
One at a time;
Keep a safe distance
You said it just like that
Which is smart
To say it crystal clear

North, the one who holds your heart
Where you are the princess of your own fairy land
With your own mighty prince
but like in any fairy tale it is timed

South, your go-to place
Where you are comfortable to stay
Feeling close enough to home sometimes
But will never be one

East, is where it shines
It's you that gives it an extra blush
Giving light with just a smile
Dim and weak now
But will reach its peak in a while

West, where it sets
Has always been there for you to rest
You might not know
and it might not show
But he's saved a spot
For you to lay tonight

Anna Nov 2014

Love

Many have asked the same questions
Many have deduced;
They were so ready to conclude
But they keep rejecting everything
They said that it was nothing
That they are just being two normal very very close friends
That none was true
But how can you think otherwise
If what you see and feel seems right
It's love, I guess.
Hidden beyond that friendship
Low but afire from each other's heart
Each very careful to keep their guard
That's just sweet and cute
Because the truest feelings for someone
Are the ones concealed
And the ones denied

Anna Nov 2014

16 (alt ending)

People are paying close attention to his every move.
Slowly trying to decipher
The actions he'll do.
Do not worry because she doesn't mind
And she's allowing you to do the things you want.
In a conversation,
You said that you don't like her or rather you don't know if you like her.
The message came to her quick
And she finally felt peace.
She said that her intuition was right.
And people should stop teasing you guys because you're friends;
and it is not more than that.

Now I observe her
Dumb struck
I feel guilty for stating the obvious fact
I can see that I have confused her so much
But what else can I do,
the situation is beyond my control.
His actions are consistent.
Never failing to say how much he adores her and her lovely smile.
How sweet of him right?
I don't know if what he said was just that
I am as confused as she is
Constantly looking for clues
Constantly searching for the answers to my questions
While carefully adjusting to his parameters
Its been a while since I started searching
But he's a dead end
I can't extract the answers I want
So I'm left with no choice but to wait
Wait and figure it out with her
Cause I can only predict but can never conclude

Anna Nov 2014

16

People are paying close attention to his every move.
Slowly trying to decipher
the actions he'll do.
Do not worry because she doesn't mind
and she's allowing you to do the things you want.
In a conversation,
you said you don't like her or rather you don't know if you like her.
The message came to her quick
and she finally felt peace.
She said that her intuition was right.
And people should stop teasing you guys
because you're friends;
and it is not more than that.
But how come, I get this feeling,
that even without her saying it,
that she felt the slightest tinge of disappointment
cautiously hidden beyond the bright smile she's showing.
She liked you before. I bet you don't know.
Because you were so much into another.
So she decided to keep her feelings and her heart shut
because that's what's best for everyone.