Sometimes I'm afraid of everything

It happens when I loose my consciousness
and I can see only the hurdles on the road

It happens when I loose the trust
and I stop feeling

*Sometimes I am so weak that I think I need you

I may disappear within Silence
My faith is not enough to save me
I may say thy words pretending they're mine
I may restart another time

Tell me when I should stop
When it's right to forget and what's not

I'm fine without you
Selfishness is better than dependence

I must say thy words pretending they're mine

I must restart
another time

-

Tell me something true if your thoughts are so
You left a part of me far afield

'till the end of the show the time has been forgotten
Since you made me believe I walked with you
There's always been only my shadow
My faith is not enough to save me

Thinking up about a sense
to fill the emptiness of time,
'cause Emptiness is a weight,
my weight, my sorrow.

Can't see beyond all the things I know,
and all the things I know are always more oppressive,
and my choices are my chains,
my weight, my sorrow.

Beyond my days, beyond my borders,
*no one calls my name.

I gave up and I choosed to be blind.
I covered my eyes and I left everything shine through.

Without awareness.
Without faith.

The beginning:
He needlessly noticed my hidden words.

...He noticed.

Nothing... Wonderfully.
Still alive, deprived of senses,
Fallen in stares... I felt so.

A smile, reversed clock, Number 43, black jumper, her fingers...
Short bordeaux nails, nasty mouse face, enormous glasses, a smile.

Was I feeling through what?
What was I feeling?

High five.
Disappear and appear again, up behind me and at my left...

Our stares, weird clockworks;
I knew there was happening something senseless.

...Behind again. But that's the last time,
that's seventeen-nine. I read it.

I couldn't think I'm thinking about pain,
Although something leaded me astray.
Blinding darkness... Weak, far light...
Far smile.

So I couldn't think consciously
about everything died before its wrong birth.

Moments of pure madness. Insane; escape;
no way.

The last time repeated again, for the last time.

An inexistent history.
Pleasant history pleasantly little.
Nevermore.
Again,
and again nevermore.
Forever.
Disappear.