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 May 2014 Andje
nivek
everything has cast its shadow today
as the fire in the sky looked on
doing its thing

all flames and burning
not allowing any eyes to watch
the naked self offering
 May 2014 Andje
Shirley Smothers
Deep down inside,
I've sacrificed
and I've tried.

Deep down inside,
tears of  anguish
I have cried.

Deep down inside
my soul
it has died.

Deep down inside.
 May 2014 Andje
joel hansen
Im Sorry
 May 2014 Andje
joel hansen
I was snorting the snow
I missed you being born
I was smoking the rock
And now your twelve
I slammed last night
Your moving out
I crashed
You married had kids
I woke up foggy
Where are you
I was supposed to be there
I want to tell you how proud I am
I wanted my fix more
Sad alone cold
Today was when I realized
It was to late
 May 2014 Andje
aviisevil
Woke up to the sunrise, my heart still craves the night
Drowning in an ocean of misery, escaping the bright lights
The demon inside has won, I've given up any hope to fight
If I'm going down this path, i might just enjoy the ride

In this silence, over-grown sense of hatred consumes my soul
I wait for the end, trying to figure out a way to end it all
I could never figure out, what does it takes to make you whole
And maybe i was just holding back, i was always destined to fall

__________

"hey, mom do you have to go to work today?"
-sorry sweetie, i have to rush and i guess I'll be late
"seriously, i thought we'll spend some time together, we talked about it yesterday"
-i know, but it's important, maybe next Sunday?
"it's alright, nevermind anyway"
-you know how much i love you, don't you ?
"yes, i know mom, be back soon, I have a surprise for you today"
-I'll be back as soon as i can, ok sweetie?
"alright, I'll wait for you like always"

*door closes


_________

Alone with my thoughts, emotions explodes in silence
Mind in chaos, every approaching moment is violent
Angst and despair spreads neatly all across the floor
Eyes are closed and i think i can't take it anymore

It's not so easy to die, every moment I'm hoping for a miracle
Someone or something to pull me back from my doom
But i guess, world has ignored my pleas again
And i can't let go of these morbid thoughts approaching like winters gloom


_________

"hey, Todd do you have a second, i just need to talk"
-yeah, mate what is it ?
"i don't feel good, can you come over or not ?"
-man, I'm with this *******, we're out on a walk
"oh, haha alright, have fun, catch you later"
- I'll tell you all about it. god, this chick is so hot!
"haha alright, catch you later"

you can talk to my Corpse

_____________________________

Can they really not hear the fear in your voice ?
You try so hard to get out, but they leave you no choice
Maybe when they find you're gone, they'll make some noise
Will they feel responsible, for they couldn't keep you from being destroyed

I walk away from these walls of my so called home
I think it's better if i go away and do this alone
Friends, family, they'll make an excuse that they didn't knew
He was such a good kid, just a little bit confused


_____________________________


-young man, what are you doing alone in this park?
"none of your business, leave me alone"
-you shouldn't wander alone in these lonely parts
"i don't need you to tell me what to do, it's not even after dark"
- are you searching for someone, there's no one out far
"no, i just want to be alone, if it's too much to ASK!"
- come here, have a seat, don't be afraid i won't hurt you
"hahah, do you really think I'm scared of you?"
-no, but i think you need someone to talk to
"no, I'm better off alone, sorry but i don't need you"
-wait, young fellow, just hear me out?
"does it matter, you have no clue what it's all about"
- no harm in letting it all out, for you and me are the same
"are we really, you don't seem to be in pain !"
- i was, a long time ago, just like you i was cold
"hmmm, stay away from strangers, that's what i was always told"
-I'm not a stranger, I'm just the older self of you
"wait, slow down old man, you're just making me confused"
-I'm here to tell you what you'll miss if you don't turn around
"what? How do you know i was about..."
- i know how you feel, like everything is going down
"hey, wait a minute......."
-but I'm here to tell you, one day you'll be found  
"but, it feels like that day will never come "
-just look at you, what you've become
"i can't stop it, it has already begun"
-there will be no escape,no matter how far you run
"..........."
-it will be better, i swear, one day you'll find that someone
" i don't think i ever will "
-you're too young, I'm old and i can tell you i did
"but we're not the same........"
-yes, we are
"hey, wait where're you going, what's your name?"
-if you decide to turn around, I'll meet you tomorrow here again
"what makes you so sure, my thoughts will change"
-i don't know for sure, but i would really like to meet you again..

walks back home


later in the night



"hey, what's up todd?"
-oh man, remember about that chick, the one hot?
"yeah, what's up with her"
-turns out she has even a hotter sister
"hmmmm"
-she wants to meet you, i showed her your picture
"what the hell?"
-yeah mate, she wants to meet you tomorrow at the cafe, about twelve
"woah, ah well...."
-just shut up, you thought i would just leave you behind
".........."
-we're friends mate, sorry i couldn't talk earlier, i was fixing your date at that time
"hmmm, it's alright"
-ok mate, good night
"night, night"



even later


"hey, mom look i made you some dinner"
- oh baby, what a sweet surprise
"mom, why do you have tear in your eyes?"
-it's nothing, i felt bad about going to work today
"don't worry mom, it's okay"
-no, it's not, so i took tomorrow off
"eh, why?"
-well, i planned something, just you and me, up for it or not?







__________

-so, young man you made it
"yeah, guess i did"
-there will be more like me down the road
"hmm, what your name, old man?
-well,my friends call me hope.
Notes (optional)
 May 2014 Andje
electroacidzxx
I miss you so bad right now,
Like so bad
I want you ,
Now
 May 2014 Andje
kyla marie
2:36 AM
 May 2014 Andje
kyla marie
this might sound crazy but
I'm thinking of you
again

of the endless
us
we
me and you
that will never be

maybe I'm insane

I was never good enough
and never will be

you hold her hand
as tight as you hold my
pusling
shattering
still longing for you
heart
If you ever end up falling
you could never catch yourself
is this the reason why
you never say 'I love myself' ?
there are stars
and there are choices
i can talk about the ones that shoot across the sky
or i can talk about the sparkle in your eyes.
 May 2014 Andje
meg
Types of sadness
 May 2014 Andje
meg
there's 6 types of sadness:
1) the break in your heart when your high school love says he doesn't love you anymore and that he found someone new that's better than you
2) the 4 am feeling of loneliness when you realize nobody is ever really there when you need it the very most
3) the shaky feeling that runs through your spine when all you crave is a blade and to see crimson run down your thigh
4) the realization that your teenage years are drifting away from you because a boy ruined everything you've ever loved including yourself
5) the agony in the pit of your stomach from that one time in 8th grade when mommy told you she hated you and that she wanted to **** you
6) the shame and stupidity you feel when you run your fingertips across your textured skin from that time in 7th grade when your friend convinced you that a blade was a good release which led to your rapid downfall and you not having the ability to live without it running across your skin
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