my ex-lovers mouth is not a
place I'm proud of lurking
drowned in alcohol and cigarettes
he said
were from all the stress of working

there is your sister, there is your sister brilliant and shining in every way you are not, and there is your brother, blindingly talented and everything you are not, and because they are the opposite of you, you expect them to be the same, but they aren't, there's 10 billion types of people and you are the worst of them

i swear to god i'm gonna die
in one of these nameless steakhouses
to a backtrack of classical jazz
with my back straight
and my legs crossed
in a pretty dress
and stockings
my hair pulled up tight
(i have a headache- no one cares)
when i get handed a menu,
i barely look
i'm getting the cheapest salad
because that's polite, right?

i am a chess piece faking my way through a checkers board
running on an empty tank- go go go
fast!
Quick! here's a myth-
the asthmatic boy meets a girl burning up!
Both survive!
how do you say no thanks? no thanks!
your words are harsh red lines and they stab me and make me bleed.
stop asking me the same question.
i heard you the first time.
i did not want to answer.
the world is painstakingly dizzying and hopelessly loud.
Leave Me Alone

it's so hard to be sad around you, i wish i could steal your light all the time

you wanted to burn,
and I want to drown,
so I guess in the end
we're both going down

attention seeker
(attention *****)
i haven’t slept in a year
(that’s impossible)
I feel like i haven’t slept in a year
(i feel worse than you)
i know.
- i know
(you know?)
I know.
-you really hurt me by loving someone else before you knew me
(that doesn’t make sense
that’s not fair)
i know.
-sometimes i imagine terrible things to make myself feel better
(that’s weird)
i know- i know
(what things)
going blind and getting sick and dying and losing all my friends and getting cheated on and crying, i imagine myself crying a lot
(why)
i told you
-it makes me feel better
(this isn’t even a real poem)
i know
(you can’t write ****)
i know
(you’re a lazy slob)
i know
(you’re pathetic)
i know.
(….)
i know.
(i didn’t say anything)
i know.
(is that all you can say)
no
(so you agree with me)
yes
(good.)