Red roses stare at me
Loud voices scream from the kitchen
My grandfather is dying
And they're paying cards
I guess he's not quite dying
But the pain meds make him loopy
And the lack of food and liquid
Make is voice scratchy and him
Unbearably thin
I'd be lying if I said it didn't scare me
I'd be a liar if I claimed to not love him
I guess I'm just not ready to lose him
Because I can't stand the thought of losing another loved one

Red roses stare at me
And I'm there with him
Holding him tight
I love you, Grampy
Please don't go yet...
Please don't go yet....
Please don't go.

My mind spirals
Spiraling downwards
Downwards into hell
Hell is a welcome escape
Escape from the life I'm living
Living is a hell in itself
Self is all a dream
Dreams fail
Failing is inevitable to me
Me my mine
My mind spirals
Down

Cold, hot
On, off
The hellfire hits my back
Shimmering the way it does
It then turns to ice
So cold it feels hot
Too cold
I crank it back to hellfire
The give up
I can't seem to wash away
The pain of guilt
All the lies flowing
Running over my body,
Like the water I soak in
I step out, my body dripping
Then towel off
I'll try again tomorrow

It's dangerous to go alone, take this
He says as he carves out his own heart
And hands it to me
I place it in a golden chest
Surrounded by countless other
******, beaten, broken
Hearts
I've done this countless times
Smile, rip out a heart, and keep it
Smile, tear out a heart, and keep it
I suppose I'm like a dragon
In the same way they horde gold and jewels
I horde hearts and love
I thrive on love
I need it to survive
My beautiful box of hearts displayed
Gold and shining
Covered in jewels with a heart shaped lock

I love you she says
Carving out her heart and placing it in my hands still beating
I smile and place it in a box
My beautiful golden chest of hearts
Hers the latest addition, ****** and bruised
She cries
He cries
They all cry
But their hearts,
Their hearts are still mine.

You took my heart
Told me you loved it
Then tore it in two
Right in front of my eyes

Saying that you love me
But you found someone
She means the world to you
And I'm just not good enough

You knew that it would hurt me
And you tore my heart to shreds anyways
But you don't have a heart
So why would you care

I guess I thought you meant it
When you said you loved me
Or when you said you would be here
But I guess you didn't

But in all reality you did
Didn't you?
Pushing me down on that roof
And kissing me cockily, the way you always did

You smiled and we went back in
Claiming onto the yogibo
I cuddled the **** out of you
And today. We'll do it again.

A tilted painting
A closed door
Smiles stare at me
Taunting me
Teasing me
And I just smile
Knowing they can't do anything
But I can
My words can stop them
My lines flowing from this pen
And I stand there
And just speak
Their smiles fade to focused grins
And my focused grin
Fades into a smile
They disappear
A flawless painting
An open door
A blank room stares back at me
Greeting me
Welcoming me
And I just smile.

Break my heart
Shatter my bones
And blow away the ashes
Then hug her
Smile with her
Laugh with her
Do you not remember?
Remember the promise you made me
Your promise to fix me
You've seen me at my best
At my worst
You know what this does to me
And yet you still do it.
I noticed your hugs getting shorter
The distance growing larger
We've grown apart
Do you no longer mean it?
Do your I love yous
And your I think you're beautifuls
Do they mean nothing to you?
Because I still mean it.