Probably die
with you on my mind

I can't go back in time

I think you don't love me anymore

I miss our moments
that have passed away

I became numb
ever since you left me

I wished I was dead
I'm sorry


Overdosed on pain
take me home
back when you had my back

I dream of us together
I know you do too

Wish I hadn't left
leaving us dead

+ + +        + + +       + + +

I can't apologize
I never took the blame

Laying in my grave

I'll save us another time
in another life

what a blue summer
counting down the days
that seem so far away

Lately I want to break everything
I want to break each glass dish
and break a window

Throw the tv down the stairs


What a blue summer
I feel it every year

the chlorine
sun waves
and sunburned

the water gets warmer
and the day is longer

I can't find the right time
to see the stars

I can't hear the sounds
did you say my name
the darkest day
I don't know where I am

the ceiling the falling
what you like
I don't

I can't say the words
I want to tell you

now you feel unloved

you've left

I thought maybe I could find a way
into your heart
again

it's a white dream
you ever loving me

your empty body
scares me

I don't understand the feeling

I've studied your eyes for so long
never did I find an ounce of love

I'll forever be your doll
I break and fall
when you throw me to the floor

I listen to whatever you have to say
and you brag to all your friends

I read your eyes
to try and find
I swim through your lies
deep dark nights

/ //
when I realized you didn't love me

a weight from my heart was lifted

About now she is having her first cup
in her java ritual of waking up
starting the day by feeding the birds
who swoop too eat and hear her words.

St. Francis is smiling up there
seeing her quiet presence and care
presence to what is real
in the moment and what it reveals.

The creator is in his or her creatures
in shape, contour and natural features.
I don’t need TV, *****, caffeine
or any other fix to intervene.

And it is good to have friends who are kind
who help the helpless and the blind
who feed birds and spirits of the down
not looking for applause or renown.

Knowing and loving and being there
for others, taking time to care.
Having friends like this - a treasure
impossible to repay or measure.

So when I’m tempted to medicate
in any fashion, let me meditate
or be present to friends or birds in flight,
let me abide in their darkness and their light.

Written 07/08/2018