And suddenly every song,
poem,
and shooting star,
Was about you.
And I wondered
If that would ever stop:
If every star,
Birthday cake,
And wishbone
Would always be for you.
Or if one day
I could wish on something new.

When we were young,
Innocent as our smooth skin.
we didn't understand.
Why they stared
This is for the kids like me,
the kids who still feel your hands.
Who didnt know about the birds and the bees.
Until,
you showed them.

Now, we're adults, scarred.
A lovers wrong touch triggers unwanted memories
and you haunt my every move.
You made me.
Broken and Untouchable.
This is for the adults who are still children.
Who cry into the blackness
for the life you stole.

There are some things that are indescribable in life.
The feel of a good engine
The perfect cup of tea on a rainy day
Beer. When you're craving it
Sitting down at the end of a ridiculously long day
A hot bath
The perfect pineapple
Good ***
Sunset bonfires with friends
Music from the soul
Fantasy filled dreams
The first realization that spring is here and leaves are budding.
I want a love that feels like that. Sweeps me of my feet and leaves me anxious for the next time.
I want a fairy tale.
But that doesn't happen.
So I refuse to be a princess waiting for a prince who isn't coming.
But how do you change who you are when you want more from yourself. For yourself.

The dark feels so close around you. Close and  cold. kind of like you've become. The dim light, as a magicians act would,  sneaks across the room. Only visible on the off white wall. You could lose yourself in the details and metaphors of what's around you for hours. You feel like You're running. But you don't know in which direction. Towards the finish line or the lions mouth. How do you know where you're going if you dont know where you're coming from. What. Take an oath of silence. Less is more. Still your mind or be in the moment. Remember to pause and take in the details.. Remember it all.. Look forward to not know what's coming. It will be amazing if you put good thoughts into the world, they'll come back to you.  You've wallowed long enough. Swim again. It'll be hard at first. Like treading mud. But as you warm up and figure it out, it'll get easier. Until the next time you fall off your bike. And then, my dear, remember to get back up because you are strong. And the world cannot break you. Not if you grow around the trials. Become bigger. Like the knot in a tree. The blackness is closing in. Closer and closer. You know you'll never give in. And sometimes that's worse. Because what if you don't know. Or what if you're right and you'll never be able to do it.  You're Procrastinating. Get on with your life stop making lists. Just get up and go. Do the first thing that comes to mind. That will leave you feeling like you might not find your nook but you'll carve it out. Starting now