Where do birds go at night?
When winter's silent furies
turn Hawthorns white,
cotton light on ground and grade.

Where do birds sleep till dawn
while pillowing clouds, twice height,
slumber across this evening sky.

Where do birds go to dream?
Swirling, feathered flurries,
to shiver off frostbite extreme.

Then upon a morning light
to round and wakeful nigh
with muffled wings burst into flight
tree branch waved goodbye.

-cec

my heart is aching for something i cannot name
burning like a moth to a flame
wordless
soundless
emptiness
bells ring
horns honk
and still i sit on this rock
wondering what it is about this hour that seems to leave me this way
and about what it will take to stay on the rails this time around
--how deeply must i adjust to the darkness before i can see in the light?
is there some sort of switch i must find?
within or without?
in this world of distorted mirrors and shadow games,
how am i ever to …
listen to what my eyes can't see
feel what my body won't register
and know what my mind refuses to touch?
am i really here at all or is even this self i portray an illusion
wandering through this maze of riddles and rhymes until my feet give way and my heart
my heart
my
heart
*succumbs.

The worst way to lose somebody is to be, in his heart, ordinary; to be his luxury turned duty.

And the things he do, he does them to keep up with you, but not anymore to keep you.

This is when you'll know you've lost him. This is when it will hurt. But only until this you'll know you've loved deeply.

Your lips would blister with prayers for his return, but no poetry in the world could touch his soul and guide him back to your arms--

none unless the words are yours.*



P.S. *You'll only truly lose him when you start to think that maybe after all, you've never truly loved him. And that is also when you'll lose yourself-- to your own make-believe.

you haven't exercised in a week
you haven't exercised and you've been eating a lot - ice cream and candy and not entirely healthy things
you haven't exercised and you've been eating a lot and you've developed a slight pudge around your tummy where previously you wanted rock hard abs because you wanted to be strong
but you're finding that strong isn't what you've made it to be
maybe strong is more than slim bodies and powerful arms...maybe
and the strangest part of this journey of self-discovery is that, as your stomach starts to make itself a delicate padding and as you roll over in bed instead of going for a run, you are curiously the most happy you've been in weeks
and you love your body and it makes sense and you are *happy

What a Disney shape
life is no circle
life has corners
for hiding
and pointy bits
for stabbing
not sure what shape
that is
maybe
a sharpened triangle.