you're close to me
but I'm not close to you

guess we're feeling different kinds of love

every time you call
you call to talk to yourself
I sit in the background

I wonder what's it like to have a real friend

I will miss the sound of your guitar

but I want to escape your judgement

no matter how many good songs you play

I still feel empty inside

I can see a storm behind your eyes

you hide behind an empty void

trapped inside my emotions

I can never find yours

if I ever leave

there's a million others
thinking about you

I'm not one

I am nothing

I accept it

I feel like everything

imagine a dream scenerio

where I can hear the waves

the wind picks up my spirit

I have it all

when one asks you to share a poem of your own
what do you send

a poem from years ago
full of uncertainty

a poem from yesterday
filled with confusion

a poem of love
a poem of sadness

a poem with rage
a poem with fear

secretly all fatigued

they're all filled with bits of my life

I sowed each letter and word
I tied them together
with my breath
finished the last sentence

I don't know which of all to send
I have no favorites
one is not better than the rest

I'll send one from today
if it's still breathing

you don't want to be me

wishing to be dead one day
feeling all of life the next

you don't want to wear my body
it's so heavy filled with lies and secrets

you don't want my words
I can't express the way I feel

you don't want my emotions
too strong to contain I let them all go to waste

I'm so sleepy
I sleep at 3 am

be someone else
don't be like me

humans are hateful
filled with greed and hunger

unsatiable

we are our own destruction

there is no God

we are alone

filled with fear

all our conversations
lost into a void of numerous codes

all our shared voices
our tall tales

afternoon voice calls
doing laundry with you on the phone

I loved you
when I realized you saw the ugly parts of me

I lied and I ran
but you were always there
when I came back

I think I was in the wrong
you're so sweet
hate that you saw the good inside me

I was bitter
I hated you
hated myself and everyone else

I didn't think there would be a day
you would find someone else

didn't think there would be a time
you would leave

when are you coming back
please don't let it be

remind me I'm still good
even if I don't deserve you

truth is
I hate being the bad guy

but I said I was sorry

that wasn't enough
this time

no one loved me like you

I took you for granted
lost my advantage

no one else matters
like you

I'll wait
if you ever want to come back
I'll be here waiting forever