there's an angry voice inside of me
i need to write down
and let loose.
but it only comes out as a whisper.

i use the things i won't do,
like death,
to inspire me for things i try to do,
like being alive.

I wonder if he misses me
I know it sounds insane because she exists
But I wonder if at night he is somehow reminded of us
The way we lingered over one another
The sweet torture for both of us
The way we wrapped up like tying a knot at boy scouts
I wonder if he has rid the remnants of our love
Or if they are held holy to his left side

I am scared to let myself feel vulnerable for you:

See,
My heart’s been tortured by your kind before-
So I lay bricks of mistrust and hurt around it
Because even once-
Is one too many times for me
To feel so very deeply,
The unrequited touches on my frayed skin.

They say that drowning is the worst way to die,
But what if I willingly dive into the sea of blue
that is your eyes…

Would that still count as suicide?

Do you ever think of me,
Half as many times as I do you?
Because I often wonder:

Are we still friends in the dark,
Or do you also hear the loudness of my heartbeat
reverberating through my chest-
For you?

By: Lulwama K. Mulalu (.15)

you've heard stories
that you probably think are true
but i never went home with a girl
until that one night
i saw him with you
and i saw in your eyes
you wanted him too

I didn't want you for myself
Until I saw you with someone else
But what kind of man would I be
If I didn't leave you be
And atleast let you be happy

As everyone passes you by
like your not even there
screaming silently so no one seems to hear
hiding all your fears and transparent tears
you wonder if anyone even cares
about all the things you've never shared
you wonder if anyone will ever see everything you are
you asked "am i invisible?"

*no, the world is blind

Do you...

Imagine my ****** expressions that match the nuances in my voice
Tell me of all the attention you get from other boys

Take deep trembling breaths just to hold back the tears
Feel the angry tides as you swallow your fears

Clutch your pillow tight and pretend that it's me
Let it soak up the drops as you sob quietly

Look at the moon adoringly as I do
Knowing that I see the same one too

Replay the words you heard me say
Read my words over and over, to get through your day

Cringe at the idea that we both have to hide
When really we want to spread our wings and glide

Sigh with despair when it all seems to fall apart
Pick on life's lashing when they start to smart

Picture me before sleep in bed as you lay
Let me run till slumber takes you away

Well up every time you miss
Close your eyes shut every time we kiss

Pace up and down as we share days' events
Try to be strong hearing each others' laments

Cover your face when you cry?
Grieve over time spent apart that fly on by

Take breaths in between words or in between sentences
Sigh deeply poring over our wild pretences

Blush red when sweet nothings you hear
Bite your lip when you need me near

Sing in your heart when you hear my voice
Dance secretly with me as your choice

Always think of different ways to sweep me off my feet
Rush of blood with the quickening of your heartbeat

Imagine the way I am as I do you
Get breathless when you say I love you

Feel a stab when we argue about nothing
Wasted words when much more needed saying

Weaken in the knees when for you I'd sing
Find catching yourself to stop yourself from buckling

Sit on the bathroom floor,
Only to let the shower pour
As you hug your knees to your chest
Assuring yourself that it's all for the best

Wish for a second just so you could see
With naked eyes and not imaginatively

Do you?
Because I do...