Never did I imagine myself
living so lonely

That my friends have slowly become
my plants
stray cats
the stars

and the sky

I never imagined
this life
for us

Wherever it takes us
let us hear the rain
survive the heat
and cold

I won't promise
I don't hope

I just want to grow closer
over time

Make memories
for distant days

my eyes
like bullet holes
in the side of
car windows
waking up
in someone else’s life
in someone else’s bed
and I dream of escape
but they’ve taken my legs
and restricted my jurisdiction
to four tiny light blue walls
that drive me mad and
imprisoned me
inside a prison
inside a prison
inside infinite prisons
like a Martyoshka doll
with an open door policy for
violence but limiting my
freedom of expression to
cover up these walls with
anything that interests me
but I guess that’s the way
the world works, anything
interesting is prohibited and
beating you senseless is
encourage so may never
know who you are or what
you’re doing or what you’ll
become but if there’s
a little blue sun that shines
on the luck of chance and
it comes to you naturally,
know it, take it and run with it
like you’re being chased by
cannibalize headhunters
because you never know
when it’ll come back, if ever,
and sitting here now
thinking of Havana
realizing that I’m still here
in this reoccurring nightmare
of unnecessary difficulty
I’d appreciate a simple pleasure
like ******* on a mosquito
that’s resting in the ******

I.
White flakes touch the street—
Their millions melt, dying
The way they were born.

II.
She blinked, shaking the
Snowflakes from her eyelashes,
And blushed like summer.

III.
A two-step blizzard
Waltzes in the windy air—
Winter masquerades.

IV.
In the darkness, steps
Crunch and echo in the snow,
Miles away from me.

V.
The buildings weather
The snow, but everything else
Crumbles under white.

VI.
After the snow, trees
Like middle-aged heads of hair
Became old and grey.

VII.
The hot chocolate
Stains my teeth, which once were
White like today’s snow.

i wonder, at what age
you became out of my reach;
i wonder, if i even
tried reaching for you

i know that history leaves its mark on everyone
(but not many have been hurt by the tracks
left behind in the dirt
like you have)

you can sit there for days, weeks, months
while we contemplate your fate,
tossing the choices in our hands
like dice

you hear the word expendable
mumbled in countless conversations
and wonder, at what age
you became in our reach

you think of the family you left behind
and hope they will find their way to tennessee
to a better life that is  
quiet. peaceful.

will they miss your selflessness;
your keen, incisive way with words;
the bumps and hills of your rough skin;
the smell of your perfume?

i miss your evergreen smile;
your poetry;
your skin against mine;
the wonder in your eyes