The circumambient wings of a seraph
Obstrepously monastic within
Dereliction contemning the
Mendaciously obsequious;
The bathos of ablution grittily
Jejune fulgerating the engrossed.
The chaldean lachrymatory
The ligature of the darklings rheum,
Volently acclaimed
The paladin necromancers
Circumfluous wintry orbs
Ardently accosting the chasm
Lasping tarnation fructifying
Acedias roborant,
Heavens ignoble lassitude
The boreal scope of causality-
Hells predacious moil.



ELEETE J MUIR..

I just wanted to say thank you.
I wanted to thank you for helping make me who I am.
I wanted to thank you for pushing me forward when I was satisfied.
I wanted to thank you for being upset when I let you down.
and for lifting me up when I wanted to frown.
I wanted to tell you--How grateful I am.
Not only for writing me a letter of rec.
but for writing to me when I felt wrecked,
and for keeping your room open after work was “done”
Because I know, secretly, that room was your heart
even though your sarcasm made that fact hard to tease apart.
I wanted to let you know I am happy.
Not terribly happy, not without problems.
But happy enough where I can get up every morning
and complain about growing into a better person.
I wanted  to let you know I totally identified with
what I imagined your fears where when you first left for college.
And that I hope my fears will also help others when they leave as well.
I wanted to tell you I liked watching you cry.
Which probably makes you roll your eyes,
but it let me know, I could maybe, one day, be as strong as you.
I wanted to wish you prosperity, and hope, and love.
Because my aunt just had a baby too,
Whom I met this past winter
And I swear,
when I looked in her little her eyes
I saw the Universe.
It kinda funny that they named her Jasmine.
I wanted to tell you, that sometimes I re-read the letter you wrote me for graduation.
Especially when I feel the world is only filled with desperation,
When I need motivation,
When I wonder what in tarnation I’m doing with my life.
Sometimes, It's hard to miss home--even to miss friends.
I know we all are probably too busy to miss each other all the time.
But I wanted to say,
**Thank you.

The milk
dribbled down Steven's right arm.

what in tarnation am i doing?
he thought to himself

his mom's tiny shoes
tiptoed up to his room

****

he started to ****
and turned on the flourescent light

what's going on in there?
he heard her whisper
through her moldy teeth

Who is to blame?
who are the giants who manipulate the game?
corporations ******* our lives dry and desperation, plastic bags,
deforestation
it's given me an inflammation
what in tarnation are we going to do?

You and the Who may be one and the same,
we all have some part in the terrible game
and I'm in the frame for it,
done for a little bit, sat and
watched people ****
all over nature.

The visionary drones on like he sees it with headphones on reading a script while the planet's being ripped out from under our feet,
a bit like, 'meet the Flintstones' and it's in bedrock we'll build our next homes and another generation will fill the forests, harvest vegetation, and the corporation will rise again, tell of its corporate lies again and we'll all believe that they're all sane men.

Who is to blame?
the blind men who read the bible and curse which the deaf man can't hear, but which is the worse.

Rant for a bit
and cogitate,
wait for a bit
and rant a bit more,
bits and bobs and the 'nobs hold the aces
the deck was rigged
just look at their faces.

Ah them little flags, who is hoisting
those flags, is it you? And please do tell,
what in tarnation do those annoying
little flags do? Perhaps it is well

to use them to flag a ***** poem
that is inappropriate and that
offends. However, I wrote a poem
about cold snowy Oslo, and drat

if it didn't recieve nineteen of
them little flags. If I can't write on
the subject of snow so pure, what Bruv
is a girl to write about, c'mon?!

Please use them flags for offensive poems
and f*ing leave the rest of us alone!

6.4.14's offering for US National Poetry Month

Another poem to hack out,
A flood instead of the usual drought,
This month I dare not slack,
Even if inspiration I lack,
The daily schedule to survive?
Shall I knock out a three line haiku?
Would you, catch a fleeting quatrain,
Or take five, to ameliorate the strain?
I'm now at six, next hardly seventh heaven
Lord knows how I'll make eleven
Twelve, thirteen, tarnation on it
Fourteen suggests a sonnet?  
Fifteen? Oh "dead man's chest"
and that many pirates upon it
Already losing reason stroke rhyme
What may poetry month evoke in time?
I own this day's diatribe seems shirty
TGIA which hath only thirty.

~
So where did you go?
Where in daydream tarnation are we?
     If only you could see my exodus
     and relent

Where are you now?
Matters of blood and connection
forming at the mouth
we are the fabrication
      --an image apart from ourselves

To break is something sacred
in the Morse code of brake lights
     through time stained windows
     through a thousand contractions
the dead are getting younger

If only you could see me
walk into the blackness
not to build a fire
       but melt, wander, disappear
       and relent
       relent
       relent
~

I would of stood still,
and waited around for you
for hours and minutes.
As the clock would tick
through the day,
not knowing what was in it for me.

How I stopped you from bleeding to death.
Though it is embarrassing how she
took the knife away
like a child.
It is what she had to do.
The scars would say it,
and we had no knowledge
of how to handle this agony
and childishness.

As he complained again and again,
as you made him drive around
in all of tarnation
to get you back on your feet.
I waited no longer to say it,
I did.
It was hard,
But I only did
what I had to do.

They can all be mad,
they will all wonder why,
I let you go,
there were no more chances,
times, and tries.

Another chance is given,
but I am no fit.
Today I take my absence.
It is shock,
but relief.

I had to do it for me,
know when enough is enough.
Know when to say
STOP.

Know,
the limits.
Know,
the boundaries.
Know,
when you have to do it.

Claws at the doors but he's missed it by a whisker
the tube scuttles down into the tunnel below
oh bother
tarnation
I'll have to wait at the station.

So
I eye up the opposition
who take up position
along the length of
the platform

it's a war where words are shot
'Mind the door'
'Mind the gap'
'Use all available space'
or
something like that and
what for?
can anyone tell me
why the five thirty three
is always late to arrive?

Wednesday can take
a running jump
'**** day?'
more like
push, shove and bump day
but
every day feels like
Wednesday.

and redhead just
purloined the seat,
beat me to it
by
another whisker

I must be slowing down.

"what in tarnation!"
said the rabbi at the station
discovering that even kosher cheese can cause great inflammation

By: Cedric McClester

Where the hell
Should I begin
She’s ugly
As homemade sin
Though she used to be
A man among men
But that was
Way back when

What in tarnation
Can I say
She threw her wife
And kids away
Cos she felt like
A woman okay
But that was
Yesterday

Now I’m not tryin’
To be cruel
But to confuse her for  a woman
I’d have to be a fool
Though what I’m saying
Might not be cool
It’s high time that she
Be taken to school

She’s six feet
Two inches then some
Even with makeup
She looks dumb
Though she might be attractive
To some
She’s confused for a woman
By none












Cedric McClester, Copyright © 2022.  All rights reserved.

An involuntary spasm
of the diaphragm
and respiratory organs,
with a sudden closure
of the glottis
and a characteristic
sound like that of a cough.

Rather mundane topic
lest one cursed
with said minor inconvenience
that subsequently manifests
into protracted health crisis.

I write much hiccup ado
about nothing, which
involuntary explosive release
comes clear out of the hiccup blue
nary a sponge bob
square pants handy dandy blues clue,
where in tarnation
this uncontrollable bout
jarring the Jimmy Neutron body
electric all's well
that ends well hiccup do.

Why such physiological
spasmodic trembling
undulating weird phenomena
uncontrollable peculiar singultus kickstarts,
where one of many
extreme measures now suggested
such as ramming cloven hoofs
down the gullet wool shear
lee be in vain
to bring closure of glottis hiccups ewe

you wool sheepishly  
moost likely find annoying
as this hiccupping buck feels few
breaths short of taking
another potential drastic action…
like hiccup swallowing glue
as an extreme solution
wide whirled, webbed series
of being held hostage
resorting to asking Horton hears a Who

to stomp his elephant legs
(also known as hottentot bread)
atop thee abdominal chest
(me not ribbing ye dear reader)
despite impossible mission
to escape, thus truncating mein kampf
and additional fail safe measure
being trundled to an igloo
serving as ice cold emergency room
of a mockup hospital or calling

on the ghost of  the late veterinarian
James Herriot to scare doggone
such hiccup caterwauling
catering to gentile
or skeletal anorexic
hunger artist appropriately named Jew
Lean, thus, time and again
when said hiccup affliction
holds me hiccup hostage
ye dear stranger knew

seeking cure twill drive me towards
considering additional outrageous
acts of desperation
such as sticking ma head in the loo,
which bizarre reaction
on par with holding
out an appetite
until famished for moo
goo guy pan mixed
with delicious bowl of new

dulls steeped in broth,
an island delicacy renown on Oahu
even this atheist would ask
for salivation praying in a pew,
whereby sound of silence
echoed by hiccup right on queue
when nary a burble
until reaching amen hiccup rue
stubbornly persists,
no matter resorting

to consider extreme unction measures
at suppressing explosive strew
wing upsurge of diaphragm,
accursed diabolical solution
holding breath until
turning blue in the face  
simultaneously forcing air thru
alternative orifices such as:
nasal passage and/or mouth, ears
or out derrière as last ditch effort.

Oft times physiological phenomena  
faintly resembles bobbing up and down
analogous to the celebrated
jumping frog of Calaveras County
seriousness one best not undervalue
with a snort
lest ye surpass one poor soul
when an accident
on June 13, 1922,

Charles Osborne  
(experienced 20 to 40
involuntary diaphragm
spasms per minute)
hiccupped nonstop,
which condition persisted
for more than six decades,
only ending in 1990,
a full 68 years after it began.

Osborne's plight remains
the longest attack
of hiccups confirmed
by Guinness World Records
invariably accompanied
no doubt by a voodoo
Practitioner…until…at last whew
hiccups stopped  mysteriously
as they started
bringing relief
to him who analogously felt like
caged primate in a zoo.

Jumpstarting outstanding undertaking...
bringing jouncy, spectacularly crafted,
nuanced, zesty, noteworthy, creatively
spirited enlightened written poem.

This raggedy man doth inconsolably weeps
kept rudely awake whilst disobedient sheep
incur wrath of Little Bo Peep, she lambastes
protesting courtesy rambunctiousness being
future mutton chops with "haggis and neeps"
though hungry enough to eat a horse, yours
truly - me cannot afford mouth watering heep
meager stacked coins no higher than antheaps.

Yes, I still rant and rave at crooks who won
built and trussed up trust minting yours truly
for all his worth inescapably zapped all cents
of mine labeled as easy prey, branded til time
of his done on Earth immemorial prodigal son
absolute zero (the big goose egg) zilch wifely
survivor benefits nixed in other words... none
meaning, she will no longer address me as hon
mortality gussied up as grim reaper will anon
be taking aging beetle browed foo fighter to
(elysium) elysian fields after tomb morrow.

Red hot poker faced beggars me to seek wage
perhaps being ventriloquist's dummy & bring
about Renaissance of the once renown
Vaudeville (comedy without psychological or
moral intentions, based on a comical situation:
a dramatic composition or light poetry,
interspersed with songs or ballets) stage
door opening revitalization second decade
of twenty first century veritable newage
social media platforms displaying homepage
only more egalitarian than storied Gilded age.

Major blunder blinded insight compromised,
jeopardized, sabotaged novel storied wealth
scam artist affected my sought after demise
courtesy weapons of mass destruction stealth
bombarded, fooled, lobbed..., psychological
manipulation upended marred mental health
hacking away byte size raw bits of gray matter.

Discover re: visa vis yielded me mastercharge
amplified ohm my dog, what in tarnation did I
unwittingly bring about pennilessness wrought
truth out there and trust no one equals lessons
(courtesy Mulder Fox Special Agent and one
of the two protagonists of Fox science fiction-
supernatural television series X-Files) taught
(think unlucky duck) professional quackshot
commandeering, guiding, lying, ravaging...
(albeit convincingly) me to withdraw money,
what amounted jackpot stripping away leaving
yours truly bereft of financial buffer - naught
one red cent barely able to afford one kilowatt
only natural light utilized to power just barley
my gofundme page titled implacable ill fate
battered treasured wealth.

Disinformation
misinformation
what
in tarnation
is going on?

Medication
education
isolation
procrastination
what in tarnation
is going on?

Solitary
solo
she's eaten
the last Rolo

can things get any worse

Short lived amnesia found
his highness (ha... ha... ha... hm)
drawing a (figurative) blank
today January 54th, 2021,

when the misses asked yours truly
to access Verizon voicemail,
me noggin made a clank,
no doubt forgetfulness potion I drank
helps explain the circumstance
spilled (er spelled) ernest and frank.

After uttering expletive
stronger than tarnation
sought after digital information
re: 1-888-234-6786, I handily
pressed telephone keys right away
courtesy five fingertips,
and thumb expecting standing ovation

course I practiced self abnegation
and adamantly refrained
exclaiming these
bone a fied digits of flesh
the best most intelligent in creation,
my memory recalling telephone numerals
more difficult then acquiring k-ration.

Maybe you - anonymous
dear reader unwittingly applauded
(courtesy butterfly effect -
vibrations felt in Schwenksville)
impacted one garden variety human
comfortably nestled within dwelling
functioning as his remote workstation.

Nevertheless, your friendly martian, i.e. me
(from the outer limits
of the twilight zone
ofttimes analogously scurrying
like dark shadow creeping
along the edge of night)
somehow either discerned

(felt, heard or saw)
aforementioned reverberation
unbeknownst to yours truly,
thought he detected, and
felt atmospheric perturbations,
which I automatically fantasized
indicative of a strange being
housed within alien nation.

Pray tell - soundcloud I sensed
twas thee, a faux Earthling,
who telepathically communicated
to mine overactive imagination
please be courteous and befriend
plus promise to whisk me away

to never never land,
regardless whether cultural heritage
of population constitutes
a cross between
Alsatian, cetacean,
Croatian, claymation, Dalmatian,
Haitian, Thracian, et cetera.

The demagogue reincarnate
feels gifted to reign supreme
captivates, glorifies, lauds,
renounces, yawps extreme
views bellows dogmatic fulminations
in an attempt to redeem
stolen 2020 capital one bid.

Which hunter (biden his time)
will reap grim statistic when citizens
cast their ballots for president
in the popular vote (viz 2024 election)
unbeknownst one or the other
lesser of two evils will accrue
majority votes after
ramping up mudslinging
both candidates violently stirring cauldron
proffering toxic brew
powerful blend to spellbind public

elixir ration to parlay a view to unleash
vengeance laced with hate speech
triggering doomsday clock to strike midnight
when nuclear weapons
get loosed out their silos on cue
destroying vast swaths of flora and fauna,
most innocent life forms will pay hefty due
to assuage aggressively cruel, enjoyably
growling goal, and indubitably
kick **** mindset
worse than dengue fever will ensue

a combustible domino effect
fueling global horror –
scenario of webbed, wide world I eschew
analogous to kindling tinder logs smoke
jetting up fireplace flue
witnessing sovereign spookiest
magnum opus – engendering, jump/kick
starting, and transforming much of animal
and plant life into goo
(especially after special prosecutor
Robert Mueller let go some years back)

far scarier than any macabre production
dreamt up by human
frightful scenario hero
she ma (paltry in comparison)
will rescue us from deadly debacle,
nor any safe haven such as cool igloo
forsooth thee annihilation will surpass
any prior world war, no one will be spared,
neither gentile nor Jew
which all out total mortal kombat,
and attendant dystopian landscape

laying waste organisms livingsocial
will instantaneously undergo cremation,
despite Georgia grand jury courtesy
indicting former President Donald Trump
that rained down
upon his head and up the kazoo,
where flecks of ashes will spread like Kudzu
rendering world wide web
fetid, offal, and putrid
far more noxious than the common loo
yet even this general description

falls far short to where mew
tinny, sans hardy species
(according to Google search);
such as tardigrade, mummichog, and cockroach
decimating, heaving, leveling, poisoning
nearly every cubic inch of Earth
evincing voluminous vaporization
extant eradication emphatically
nixed, punctuated, and radiated
pulverization eviscerating bowels of mankind,
where nary a survivor, especially foreigner

could weather and withstand
hollowed out no mans land
bereft of sustenance or water
where seeds of life
and white lily when coalescence
of oblate spheroid birthed,
nursed, and weaned new
life especially proto **** sapiens
and subsequent kin grunting
with ah and sheepish ewe where
rambunctious fast tracked primates,

yet inherent within genetic coda,
(perhaps poison ingredient bubbling
within primordial soup - steeped qua pew
tarnation housing crucible-
analogous to planetary size
mortar and pestle) queue
sans predestination, where rue
brick, dogma, and fealty
honoring justice slew
by paws of one cancerous,
fractious and idolatrous Lothario,

who opened Pandora Box
(rigged by bobbies shut tight) thorough
lee rendered civilization a footnote
of cosmological history and universal view
where if one eligible voter
ideally chooses alternate
Democratic, but hands down
Republican candidate will clinch nomination,
witnessing elephants to stampede,
the majority will exhale a collective whew
and allow, enable and provide
continuance of the human zoo.

this Xmas eve day 2023

After a top secret clandestine conclave,
one or more sans eight Reindeer forsake
played cow word, and spelt, spilt, spoilt,
et cetera doe fill full heartbreak,
which Santa Claus immediately claimed
to be “FAKE” and accused (Jake)
i.e. Jacob Marley hook concocted game over,
viz every doe done
possibly really espy
from Charles Dickens renown

“A Christmas Carol”
comprised of many undercurrents,
asper what might appear as placid lake
which proclamation, he immediately
alluded, directed, reputed Putin to make,
which Russian leader
fed rumor mill to rattle and quake
an entablature, fixture,
signature je ne sais quoi linch pin,
which quintessential, prominent,

off limits agitation didst slake
thirst of said tyrannical
uber Voldemort, who glowed
(like the nose of Rudolph), and cherished
folklore idolized love,
would be in seventh heaven to take
credit, which resignation
could pronounce grief
and keep children ah wake

across the world wide web
an a palling gloomy dark
shadow (analogous to
edge of night) falls heavy
across the entire glommed globe,
where even the hark
cunning angels experience a mark
kid lee downcast misery
even affecting plants,
whereat trees slumped over in every park
and nary a solution
to tempt motley crue to avoid such stark

action, but spat out a litany of grievances
unseemly behavior not anew,
but ongoing (quite a shock to learn of caribou
in upper management) via prurient axe,
possibly commingling with questionable emu
but, no matter, these voiced
fur row shuss transgressions soon flew
and spread like wildfire,
whence this virtuous
claque seemed to be a glue
me pack of sordid, revolting,

traversing engaging with elves hoo
fing Alabaster Evergreen, Pepper Minstix,
Shinny Upatree...holy Jew
Peter, thee names
all these centuries sin hissed stir
opprobrious lurid tabloid fodder,
nobody suspected, nor knew,
now nothing could be done except
to arrange an emergency session
with head honchos possibly,
they exchanged tidbits
while utilizing the loo

fast forward after a slapdash
public relations forum opted to arraign
every suspect, even
that oft spotted whooping Crane
(named Stephen) and, how in tarnation can
(or should) an adult explain
to their son or daughter,
that salacious behavior
cannot disappear via

Trump peon strategy to gain
say contrary facts, now this poet break
fast for a repast in the main
thenceforth, the December holiday
will be sober and plain
but taking peremptory measures
to block fireplace flue so no errant rein
deer gets brazen and seeks rapprochement
against immoral attain in vain.