Don't listen to me; my heart's been broken.
I don't see anything objectively.

I know myself; I've learned to hear like a psychiatrist.
When I speak passionately,
That's when I'm least to be trusted.

It's very sad, really: all my life I've been praised
For my intelligence, my powers of language, of insight-
In the end they're wasted-

I never see myself.
Standing on the front steps. Holding my sisters hand.
That's why I can't account
For the bruises on her arm where the sleeve ends ...

In my own mind, I'm invisible: that's why I'm dangerous.
People like me, who seem selfless.
We're the cripples, the liars:
We're the ones who should be factored out
In the interest of truth.

When I'm quiet, that's when the truth emerges.
A clear sky, the clouds like white fibers.
Underneath, a little gray house. The azaleas
Red and bright pink.

If you want the truth, you have to close yourself
To the older sister, block her out:
When I living thing is hurt like that
In its deepest workings,
All function is altered.

That's why I'm not to be trusted.
Because a wound to the heart
Is also a wound to the mind.

My skin has been itching for three months
I’m not sure why this is addicting

I’ve crashed a car in my head 3 times today
My mental awareness consistently letting go of the wheel
The Anterior teeth of my mouth have started to yellow in disapproval
I’m not sure why this is satisfying

I’ve been taking toxic psychotropics in light doses more than twice a day
It’s warmth is comforting as the jittering and hyperactivity become null
Bags have formed under my eyes
If you were to open them, their roasted smell would overpower you with stimulation
Constantly on my toes for risk of Insomnia and Narcolepsy
I’m not sure why this is outstanding

Adrenaline is being forcefully factored into my body
If this is the bullet, I’m biting it after an appliance pulls the trigger
As the high passes, it ripples through my mind
An otherwise calm sea, tidal waves pound the shores of my subconsciousness
Vacuum sealed can are filled with awareness
Sleep has become a rare odyssey
Warm comforters are replaced with long trachea trips of boiling beans
I’m not sure why this is alarming

Double trips become tripled and troubling to my mother
Arguments over the hours I shall harvest from the night are increasingly frequent
Slow to roll out of bed in the morning
I don’t hit my carpet, I splash into sugared preparedness
In my backpack hides a cup full of GI Joes
I’m not sure why this is troubling

If anything, I’m drinking a medicine that prevents death by 10-15% for 13 years
The New England Journal of Medicine was happy to acknowledge my existence
Till they announce anything different, you’ll find me taking a mud bath
I’m not sure why this is disgusting

Tell me everything that’s wrong with it
Because from where I’m standing
There is nothing wrong with
Coffee

Hits ^ Misses
In this telling will recount close calls of different ones and some guilt and though most have raised your
Children now the children’s children your admiration doubled the worries real. Our class just had the
class reunion well we did it seems a test run three of us one we hadn’t seen in thirty years met up at
Decatur ******* Barrel close to six hours later we stumbled out we had a lot to talk about. Now for the
Next session like an old mountain men Rendezvous were adding a lot more Monroe, Jefferson, St. and
One pine street rep in fact where the first story happened in lees orchard the emblem between the titles
Is significant now any one can play paint ball but let me show how Jefferson played two Lakers and a
Denton one almost didn’t come out alive we wore the standard neighborhood issue rebel outfits heavy
Coats extra rags for padding and a head band pulled down as low as possible for our only eye protection
And the rule no head shots BB guns fully loaded let the game commence it was a bit terrifying sight
Three scarecrows slowly advancing looking for a target that’s when the real terror when one was marked
The problem I was carrying a toy bow but the arrow was mounted with a hunting tip it was blue and
Looked like a razor blade but thicker but I’m sure you could shave with it sharp gleaming silver along the
Edge for a weak it had been shot into sheds soft trees but over in the orchard it just bounced off of the
Hard apple trees and it looked like the road sign showing a straight but curvy road ahead so with those
Facts and the only fact that made it even try to be a real bow it had a hand grip that thickened it right in
The middle in all the under growth Jerry walked out in the open walking away from me so mathematics
Distance speed his steps mine halted just like the race with the train at a dead run you still was doing a
Whole lot of figuring you don’t learn that in class so I raised the bow when I let it go it was a move in
Archery where you’re just laying it down to get to the target with his dads leather bomber jacket on with
That thick padding and those rags and the arrow just bouncing off the trees by now no problem well he
Took the last step he didn’t know it but that step was across death’s threshold and he made it to
Continued life because I hit him right where I aimed in the back a lot of padding but no body fat instead
Of the arrow innocently hitting his jacket and bouncing off and dropping to the ground there was a
Thunk and a scream of pain and terror it wasn’t cupid in the woods Geri it was stupid I ran up he was getting
The coat off arrow still attached just the tip pierced his skin it didn’t feel like a bug bite believe me as I
Said ever thing factored in and the greatest divine protection it wasn’t a heart shot but if I hadn’t given
Him the last step it would have passed more than half way through destroying vital organs. He was ok but
Retribution was swift and instant I beat it out of there like a rabbit but the no head shot rule was out
Both of them bounced multiple B Bees off the side and back of my head I remember the sounds and
Feelings they gave and my thoughts were blood is thicker than water I told you I know how to run.

Now my turn we were down in Bill’s yard this time we were upgraded we had a thirty pound pull fiber
Glass bow from archery class headed by Mrs. Summers the old country girl teacher remember her
Paddle and she loved to let it sing its favorite song sting ***** sting so any way the pain of those years
Have faded we didn’t know it but we were about to make our own song I’m stuck in you. The stage set
Everyone in place when you shoot a bow in the yard you’re going to come across this problem the arrows
Will slide into the ground right at dirt level and then sew themselves up completely with grass as you
Look down something like looking for night crawlers except its day no flashlight and it doesn’t involve
Worm *** education so the fishing just involves finding the arrow this means is preferably done without
One of the shooters down field with his head down looking for said arrow but what a thrill and your
Friend Bill has done just that shot another one to help find the first one well you look up and he is out in
The street doing a mime act flailing his hands jumping up and down his mouth is moving but nothing is
Coming out I might be a little slow on the up take as they say but I got it death was on the wing I was its
intended victim what could I do if I ran right I could run right into it left was the same possibility dive
On the ground get an arrow right below your head in the neck doing what it does with the ground I
Already heard the devil way those guys **** gators in the Everglade’s by ramming a wire down there
Spine While still alive I didn’t want that experience or the other show where the guy said the worst way
To **** is with a bow not only the arrow head but the shaft creates trauma to the nerves and I couldn’t
jump straight up in the air no one wants to have their legs spread apart at a time like this so I did the
Only thing left I followed Bill’s bird dance routine turned sideways to make less of a target and then
Started bobbing my head up and down as I held it sideways looking for the biggest shaft I would get in
Life the more I looked nothing except bill became more agitated then twenty feet straight out in front of
Me there it was how curious and weird where was the beautiful yellow shaft and the two orange
Feathers with the green guide feather yes I remember everything just like the shoot out in the orchard
When people become intense everything is different those Laker boys normally weren’t that good of
Shots and I was mighty interested in this particular arrow and it didn’t glide the way it looks from the
Shooter it was wobbling and only the front was visible and it was black you don’t have to worry an
Animal will never see anything this wasn’t chicken this time Still life was being played for and I won so
When the arrow got close enough believe me I never took my eye off of it I gave it the disdain of the
matador I just bent from the waist back out of the way and let it stick harmlessly behind me in the
Ground well there is more hits and misses but they are more about guns and cars and I’m at twelve
Hundred and forty one words already so keep an eye on the children it’s a dangerous world.

Seven lessons I've learned from math
1) we all will make mistakes but still
Hope you spoke in pencil
Because someone once said that words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest to repair
2) remember people as well as remember that one plus one is two
Because what meant so much to them could be little to you
Even if you flew by and continued a line on the plane of life
The mere point of tangency may have pulled them from strife
3) never judge a person on the outward complexity of their problems until you have factored completely
It is only when you have seen all the parts that understanding can come freely
4)no matter how far two numbers may seem the greatest common multiple with come
Even if it's one
5) its not a matter of whether or not your ti-84 can perform the task easier
Its if you can do it better
Because accuracy matters and there are many shortcuts to take
But be careful of the choices you make
6)you won't always be the best
or do good on the test
but don't let any of it make you forget the rest
Of the amazing things happening right underneath your nose
Because you will need help from time to time
So forget all the angles formulas and cosines
Just breath
Because not every part of life can be described in numbers or proofs or even words
Some just need to be lived
7) you can find a lesson in everything  
From books to a song you love to sing
From a sunrise to an unbeaten path
From butterflies or maybe even math

Speechless

As the title says that’s what I want to leave you with this peace or at least lightened and changed surly a
Few precious degrees this is my goal bring the unseen into clearer view I know this it will have the power

To free and lift if myths like they have in Ireland still bestirs a nation more so in their days of oppression
From England and poverty and starvation from the potato famine but with the sweetest imagination


They went to the fields and forest and created a max factored alternate reality Leprechaun with pots of
Gold magic fairies this was like a man created lake they diverted joy that is there they used myth and

Legend as the sluice gate to flood every town and village with merriment they did that with such finesse
And unapologetic whimsy we are in a morass as a nation especially of late but individually we live in that

Please God somebody slap us I told you about when I was seventeen I dreamed this dream I was in the
Cosmos and among all the stars and all of a sudden the stars started moving and they formed these to

Great wheels and then the hands of God were shown pulling them downward instantly I knew what it
Meant this was the wheel of time and God was stopping it then He reached across to the corners of

The universe and easily as you would lift a cloth he pulled back and started to fold up all known worlds
And by doing that the spirit world was clearly visible how can anyone be enslaved or tormented by

Problems without having deliverance from them its one thirty in the morning and day will break in a few
Hours I don’t care if you’re a month old or ninety this is about to happen Hawaii will look conspicuously

Dowdy against real paradise come on guys were going to walk up and talk to God now that will make
You speechless I was afraid to meet my hero Roy Rogers at his museum struck dumb and tongue tied

Makes a bad first impression angels will be visible we truly will need a new glorified body all would  
Happen otherwise is God would end up with a whole race of delirious and blind people the desert is

going to bloom as a rose a gem encrusted on a celestial site it makes you think chin brace because your
Mouth will always be hanging open from awe believe me folks I could run this dog a lot longer because it

Is one that will hunt but I think this ought to give you a new perspective and be able to face tomorrow
With eyes that sparkle because they have heaven in them

Gospel Heirs  

This unique clan of gospel workers consisted of a father a mother and son and daughter the origins
Reach back to Plymouth the first settlers are their forbears and from this tough stock in these end times
The lion of Judea would give birth to a lion cub his head of red fiery hair suited him well it was a mane
That pronounced to the enemy war was at hand to long the bleating of lambs had not been answered
Now all would be different Bruce Wakefield was quarried from rare marble he had hardness for battle
But inner gentleness that could sway crowds of men and women show them his heart reveled was one
Of combustible fire in the cold a world where people didn’t matter as much as the bottom line their
Frailty their inherit need of being protected an guided came to complete and utter fruition in his life it
Came from a soul that stole away in to private encounters with spiritual magnificence he brimmed he
Glowed from the inner soul that had been much with the father he gathered the residue of life made it
Of no value in so doing he was the rich depository of what was real and true it resonated among those
That wondered and were confused it was like being on a long journey arduous and moments of great
Despair but at a cross roads you met in this single life a man of autumn austerity like the season also
He brought glories colors out of darkened glens and shadowed harshness leaves would fall in the
Dooryard of the hurting they breathed in the customary silent grandeur that lay on the now brown
Grasses it was a colorful display it meant the end in one sense but a beginning in another he didn’t just
Walk about the church platform he charged forward into Hells gate keepers he put them on notice the
Way things usually are had come to an end he spoke of love but he advanced it this way through the
Building blocks of creation not just simple but the essential God repeated what he did at the beginning
Of our worlds creation in one instance he shows the breadth and depth of He who makes everything
Then nurtures it carries it on to perfection a barren piece of land to start then his greatest creation in my
Opinion he joins two through romantic drama and dreams and a little thing called love you take
Infatuation the pleasing pleasure of thoughts and smite the heart in that cosmic moment the planets do
Collide two worlds are being redefined and made into one this will be the essence of their whole lives
They build relationships they build a dwelling and then the most gorgeous ribbon of all sets it off when
their love makes a little one in distant time not believing it possible this is out done when the first
Grandbaby comes that infancy that extended love at first now gives the gift that has cherish written all
Over it and your fully awake dreams do come true when they speak to you your heart melts it’s the
Greatest trick you are this adult and in seconds you are a marshmallow if we could package and sell it
There would be no more conflicts just tell the opponent to bite smell this and in moments all would be
Fun and joy so not to leave you to sad that this can’t be the day is coming when the lion will lie down
With the lamb you’re just living its precursor you set and live among miniature wonders maybe you even
Were involved in picking out their names Bruce uses this to great effect in this swirl and hoopla you find
Your center and know the ideal of life and then the shift must occur not is all sweetness the barrister of
The wind makes the argument that this great structure this family has fissures and brokenness a young
Father told of the great pain he suffered when is son was abducted and taking into another country
By other family members he since has created a international program that visits this issue and gives
Hope to people that are helpless against governments of other nations Bruce explains this is Gods
Predicament and oh how so many more of His children are missing taking into a world that subtly woos
Them by every artifice that plays on their weakness and in those areas they have a tendency to fail the
Dark Part of a painting in art greatly needed for contrast and mood sensibility but disaster in following
And living a Godly life there are restrictions in normal living all manner of give and take that make
For happier more successful living he ends with this ultimate truth I am the way and the life all of this
Is factored in and it is of gravest concern that we act on it when we hear it and that night a goodly
Number heard and responded to the very changing of their eternal destiny Bruce had words he used to
Say my morning sky used to only hold dread without question I knew my soul so precious was truly
Dead but then He spoon fed to my feeble lips Himself as the word it told in detail the darkness that is to
Everyone a plague he stole deep within captured my heart and soul changed this man alone into a
blessed vessel that cared only for His children so fare made me fearless in pursuit of them gave me the
Ability to allow them to see dreams that were their own lives after the tender mending done with hands
That bare the nail prints and imprinted on tender children the expressed love of the father that started
At the beginning and will never cease please we bid thee come to him lost ones

What relationship
taught me was
every mutual
happening
will get factored.
like
any good thing
graph go up
any bad thing
graph come down
when you want
separation,....
the stage
where
all good and bad
already got factored
So,
no more going back.

I often wonder what I'm worth
and I think Ive got it figured out
I've factored in the current exchange rates
the value of my damaged parts

I am worth the quarters in your pocket
popped into a pinball machine on a saturday night
the arcade lights flashing like police sirens

I am worth a couple of your smiles,
of your lips and hands a few minutes at a time
you give me more
but I am a risky investment
you know how unstable the market is

I am worth about four hundred calories a day
anything more is theft

I am worth an extra blanket
but not turning up the heat
I am worth chamomile tea
without a spoonful of honey
I am worth keeping alive
but not truly living

So I total up the sum of my parts
and pin on a price tag as if it's my name
I am on clearance, perched on the buy-it-now final sale shelf
hoping that I'm not too expensive

By: Cedric McClester

Bein' locked up
Ain’t an asset
And prison isn’t (a right of passage)
Don’t tell me where you been
Get yourself past it
It’s time to wake up
You stupid *******

I’m gettin tired of hearing
****** talk about
How long they went in fo’
Once they come out
And there ain’t nothin'
That I find more aggravatin'
Than hearin bout cases
That they got waitin
Or when they'll walk out
Of the prison gate
Because they doin time
Somewhere upstate
Now I ain’t mad at ‘em
Because of their plight
I just wish they wouldn’t
Take so much delight

Bein locked up
Ain’t an asset
And prison isn’t (a right of passage)
Don’t tell me where you’ve been
You stupid *******
It’s time to wake up
And get yo’ *** past it

I know some of y’all
Can relate
To doin time
Somewhere upstate
And you've engaged in
The idle chatter
Like the time you did
As if it mattered
And we can find
A true paradigm
Like a broken wrist-watch
That keeps losing time
I realize you may be
Keepin it real
Cos someone convinced you
Prison is the deal

Bein' locked up
Ain’t an ssset
And prison isn’t (a right of passage)
Don’t tell where you’ve been
Get yourself past it
It’s time to wake up
You stupid *******

You run off the names
Like they finishing schools
But they’re been erected
To house you fools
I don’t fault a man
For making a living
If they've factored in
The time they'll be given
Especially if they get caught
And take a fall
For throwing bricks
At the penitentiary wall
What I’m tryin to say is
Get a grip
Before you wind up
Taking a bus trip

Bein' locked up
Ain’t an asset
And prison isn’t (a right of passage)
Don’t tell where you’ve been
Get yourself past it
It’s time to wake up
You stupid *******

Prison isn't
What it's cracked up To be
And if you been there
I’m sure you’ll agree
You know what you did
While you were in
******'s ******
And it's still a sin
See havin prison muscles
Don’t make you a man
If you were tossin salad
Inside the slam
So if you ever been in
Let that be your secret
I don’t wanna know
Why don't you keep it

Bein' locked up
Ain’t an asset
And prison isn’t (a right of passage)
Don’t tell me where you’ve been
Get yourself past it
It’s time to wake up
You stupid *******

How many baby daddies
Ain’t around
Because of bad choices
Now they’re on locked down
Waiting for commissary
And some cigarettes
That they use to barter
And pay their debts
Then history repeats itself
Know what I mean
And the child takes the same road
That his father’s been
It’s an ongoing saga
That just doesn't end
You know what I’m talkin' ‘bout
So don’t pretend

Bein' locked up
Ain’t an asset
And prison isn’t (a right of passage)
Don’t tell me where you’ve been
Get yourself past it
It’s time to wake up
You stupid *******


(c) Copyright 2015, Cedric McClester.  All rights reserved.

Dante’s dance of death arrives
Sparrows take to air
And massive nimbo-cumulous
Soar to lightnings vivid flare.
The final page is almost read
Incredulous am I
That Lady Luck has touched my soul
Allowing me to cry.

To watch a scarlet sunset sink
Into a sea of green
And feel the chill of evening stroke
My mortal fascade’s sheen.
Cavorting fillies canter
In blue nightfall’s velvet pall
Whilst the crystal tones of crispness
Peal from distant blackbird's call.

The magnificence of feeling
Permeates my very soul
And the factored life impermanence
Magnifies the spirit’s hold.
A sensate wave of gladness
Washes over all I see
And the brilliant joy of being
Lifts the fear of death from me.

Marshalg
Victoria Park Tunnel
21 August 2010

It was a little insane but who
Am I to judge?
You See ....my friend had a theory
how our world came to where it was

So as he told it to me, is how ill tell it
it to you, but not caring if ur believing
But simply I am just repeating
As I found it oddly intriguing

So, it all starts where a society of
of real gods all live
And their kids are subject to
Learning about their power& gifts

And as an assignment school kids
Were told they had to create reality
On a fictitious planet where it'll
inhabit a species with mortality

Using the knowledge you were taught
In science Eco system building
Using philosophy, math. Art anything
You've learned can help your vision

Now the rules of such a creation
We're to calculate things right
Cause once it's created it's living
And we don't extinguish life

So the teacher explained that if
You create and it goes off course
You can only watch it destruct for
example if u Forget a food source

If you forget to make the
physical bodies of the beings
To be properly resilient enough
to match the environmental skeems

You are forced to watch in horror
As the death u caused slowly comes
And only then will you know
What it takes to be a god, and no one

Will have similar projects so no ones
right or wrong that's why you create
It's imaginative and limitless
As long as u properly calculate

So only a week later long before
the deadline when projects are due
one student who made a planet called earth,
that reflected green and blue

And he asked his teacher if he
Could induce the process of creation
Knowing well, that inducing creation comes
after due date&presentation;

So the teacher replied that
Normally he would say no
But ill be honest im curious to see
if u finished only starting 7 days ago

But before you do. I hope you know
The ethical obligation
That comes with creation, don't
U wanna re work calculations?

Cause they need a way to breath
And have a way that their body
Can self remove or evacuate
And the student said like a hobby

I loved I recalculated made
Adjustment after adjustment
So if I'm missing something I won't
Find it cuz I can't see nothing.

So the teacher said go ahead
And the student left that night
To induce the roots that
Wi grow the fruit of life

So time passes and it's time
To present to the classes
This student presented last&when;
he showed earth all of them laughed

And since there is no wrong or right
The student was puzzlesd
As his classmates started asking
Questions so flaws shoe but subtle

"Why would free will have a need"
When u only need to program
The nucleus to force morality
Now it's on you when your plans

Are wrong, but the student
Explained that he could not plan
Like most others did cuz there are
Copious variables when they can

Make their own decisions and
Be there own gods
So I only gave them
the power and respect that we all got

Cause most of your planets are built
By plans, predetermined by control
Where as mine gives them the tools
Without manipulating them wit goals

Only the fear of survival and a
Heightened consciousness so
well aware before acting on wrong
as instinct warns, so they know

What they should do, and would you
Want a program instead of intuition
Robbed of the right to make decision
cuz in my Opinion that is no vision

of someone creating something livin
So overlooked my pessimism
So existence wit decision prevents
planet prison, think of a mechanism

Something designed to mimic
Life mearly living a planned cycle
So most of your plants are more
Mechanisms then life cause vital

Is the presence of survival so
It can serve as a reminder
That recklessness has consequence
To show control of what transpires

Is there's and with this I moved
On well aware it could end
Badly but sadly the same free will
I gave as a gift could curse them

And that's when his teacher said
Class congratulate earth
As I've never once had a student
Factor in free will which births

Authenticity of life otherwise
Your planet is a replication
This projects meaning is
built around the fact that your creation

Wouldn't really be a creation as
A school would never allow
A class of students to cause
creation with no knowledge of how

Uncontrollable true creation is
And that no creations perfected
And bearing the pain of knowing
Something exists in pain directed

By your creation so be patient
Don't spawn life just to see the odd
So the lesson,its dangerous
playing god so it's important u be a god

That's when the teacher dismissed
The class but asked his student
That created earth to stay after
Class so we can decide who is

Gonna break it to my bosses that
You created life
And when they were alone
teacher said plz fill me in and shed light

On how you got everything cohesive
I had to write a new thesis
Many times and felt so blind even
After schooling to breed this

Planet the way you did, how do
They breath explain
So he said out of the choices I had
For elements the easiest to maintain

So it's constant and remains
Is to have what's needed to breath
Surrounding them and that way the
wind acts to spread what they need

So all I had to do was create
an Eco system that's supported by
The same thing but used in a cycle
Opposite to another, so .....in my

case, earth is filled with What the
dominant and sub-dominant life needs
Just like a fish needs to be in water
Earth uses oxygen as its need

So upon designing plant life a tree
And other plants breath
Out the oxygen the eco system needs
so I hope the environment we

Left to them is taken care of,
So the teacher nods and says
One more question which makes
Me wonder if ur advanced or lead

By luck but what was your
thought process when programming how
A basic nucleus functions you
Added so much detail so now

I'm asking why greed, anger and
Other emotional gauges got
So complicated when these emotions
Develop in evolution with thought

So the student replied, ill be honest
I created earth to reflect me
So now I'm more bonded to my
Creation and empathy from me

Would lack if in fact I failed
To know how it felt
To be lonely. Scared or angry
And despite how there all felt

They make us constantly aware
Of ourselves leading to improvement
On a scale more significant so
They would have to be stupid

To not notice with how complicated
They are by instinct and emotion
That if the environment gets bad
Or poverty is had there's a notion

That nags inside them knowing
Something's Wrong and they'll fix it
But ill let u know as time passes
What happens no I'm sorry it isn't

Allowed to go with you. There's
Many issues, and unwritten law
All creations must be stored with
The proper personnel who log

A the findings as some bindings
Have taught us In the past
That evolution after creation has an
Outcome that is worth to track

Each creation and note the
Changes and evolutions as they
May hold the answer To a question
We won't ask til later so I say

You deserve a pat on the back
But we may very well be introuble
As its my job to make sure u don't
Stumble upon it but befuddled

Am I at how you factored In key
elements we purposely leave out
So when your creations crash it's
No harm some as the lessons passed

Cause reproductive systems are
Graphed and added to the math
When your much older in university
Although they teach in class

To give the female of a species
The means to self conceive
With only eggs and the fathers
DNA but still you achieved

A sustainable process, and
If as a novice u can do this
There's no telling what your future
Creations will teach us, but with

All of this comes responsibility
So lets go call the authorities
And let them know we are in
Possession of an unlicensed piece

Of science and be proud. That
U didn't just play god
You weighed the responsibility
And took well measured steps not

Even taught to you, and even
If earth is not with u
It still reflects how complex you as a
God think,so lets hope earth will too

Cuz any misanthropy is misplaced
As imperfections reflexion
is why conception of perfection
Leaves a contradicting impression

Cuz the same section that's stressin
Abnormalities exist
Is the same formality that makes it
normal so this paradox insists

That something is what it isn't
And it isn't what it is
Like love and hate, a perfect life
needs a nature where antonyms sit

And in essence this is why your
world leaves me impressed
But most ppl dont understand this
Theory and will judge it a mess.....

On the side splattered twitches
a leg, a face, an ***** displaced
pain not factored for impact!
You drive, drive a bargain.

Step ******* the side splattered twitches
a tap, a crush, a left hook
the bends THE BENDS!
You swerve, swerve in X's.

Fall gently on the side splattered twitches
a mixture, a beverage, a brook
swimming swimming!
You dive, dive right in.

There’s a factory on the outskirts
of town.
On the outskirts of the universe.
They fabricate bones there, and
crack open stars like eggs.
Stars and eggs share many qualities.
They have an outer shell, and it’s
penetrable, and delicate.
This delicate wall is holding the
juices of life.
One crack, two cracks, three, and
a flood gate crumbles and
life comes rushing in. Life juice,
star juice. They pour star juice in our eyes
and sow skin.
They put a mountain in one sown figure and
call it man,
They put an ocean in another and call it woman.
I was manufactured, factored,
a factor, it’s
Fact: in reality, in actual actuality.

Air thin and caustic
each gasp leaving me a step closer to nauseous
lips taste the reality bitter and noxious
feel every breath taken, leaves me chest riven with anxiety
killing this ache that eats away at the dreams that live inside of me
if eyes are the windows to the souls, these eyelids secure my privacy
smothering the hazel pools from basking in sun ray's, yet these makeshift curtains no match for a fire sky
heart strained reminded of dire times
where I combined
every ounce of energy I could muster into one effort
made my bets and held my breath awaiting my death's ledger
the hypoxic reality that ensued
haunted me with ghostly recollections of you
my restless mind ventured through memories plagued with stinging sensations of uncompromising resent
I factored in my all the time spent
as well as my mind's rent
that you owed, being its only tenant
yet now that all emotional debts seem square, I don't have the heart to spend it
perhaps I'll store it away in notebooks and old pictures, praying the balance accrues interest over time left untouched in this my personal account
in something other than your love and its varying amount
battered hands pain-stakingly surmount
the pile of photos and letters, written with a future in mind
eyes wide, allowed you views inside
air thin and caustic, the light draining from these windows that leave my eyes dull
remain motionless, praying on a change, searching for my revival...

Even the daylight feels heavy on me and the clouds have conspired to cast weights on me, the sky is a slate grey and this is the way of it.

I need the safety of steel bars surrounding me so the people can stand and look in on me,
I hope that they don't try to set me free because
the burden I carry is too much for me.

There is lightness somewhere and it falls on me
in unfortunate blindness,
I cannot see,
so I fall on my knees and I make a plea
to the Lord of the heavens,
he don't hear me.

When days like this come along in tandem
I cry like a man and then whine​ some, but
my tears are acidic and
only make me feel more sick,
if only the weight didn't weigh on me.

I am happy,
I am
and I know it
even when I know and
can't show it,
but the weight that hangs on me
drags me down and
points only to misery.

I wonder if there is a feelgood factory
and could I be factored in
by some chemistry?
if so
would they bother to take the time
to takes these weights off
of mine before I'm dragged
deeper into this feeling
of misery.

Pillowtalk

Unraveling my mentality i stick to a thought and feel a motive,
Feeling in my throat...i speak with conviction,
Tough to swallow,Too thick to be shallow i think and speak to hear my tune,
Slow lip movement to accompany the steady feelings of love in the rain drops.

I speak with no emotion but i think of my evoked preferences,
At times i’m guilty of what i said and i lay beside the pillow in my bed,
My speakers are turnt up to drown my thoughts before i fall asleep,
My phone stays on vibrate as the sound of communication is too much,
I don’t want to speak, i don’t want to think and i don’t want to feel.

In the mornings it’s been hard getting out of bed,
My bed is warm but my pillow is wet from the sweat made by my nightmares,
Sunlight dangles instead of the curtains and the glass of water from midnight condensed,
Just like the in the past when the great depression occurred...i survived to make it here,
A new anti-climatic chapter in feeling regret but patient in my future,
Nothing really ends in my mind,
Infinite loops and passions just sit within me,
Lazy realizations are factored within these. These?
These revelation and emphasis on mental instability,
Strange as it sounds I'm ok today.

Last night... it rained last night,
The air was cool but not quite right,
My speaker made a low hum I tried to imitate,
I tried to comfort myself from the chills I felt.

I looked at my phone and mouthed the words I saw,
I was upset so I played my playlist called pillowtalk,
The speaker began to speak again,
This time I drowned in my own thoughts.
I fell asleep but I didn't wake up again...like ever,
Though this is true I was always ‘woke’ in the memories I spoke.

Thou art now subject to moral decay,
Moral display is factored in thy oddjob list,
Wherein snob-ball Lisp's are sumblime in groupie sets!!!!

Woe to be pondered,
Sky's souly to be wandered through broken holed boat's,
To neat-nice pottery stinking nets!!!

Astute loons maketh their graces high and mighty,
Where tribes stay rewinding their beginning end's of birth,
Art thou a leader from many kingdom's?
Or a lubricant to zealous curse!!!!!

Spoon's replace knive's,
Deadly sin to replace wive's,
Crimes against humanity puppeteer the market's trail,
Crumb's reach the helpless, whilst snarling dog's drag tail!!!!

Embankments to fit the streamed beauties,
Where prestine muting is sound fit to cold coated bones!!!

Infrequency goes higher to the laughing in lover's valley,
Wherein pin's to sportsman's ball goes rallied,
Tallied up zero to zero four score!!!

None makes a difference if thou art the lonely beggar at loves lost door!!!!

A premium stands by for the serpent who make's it's pass,
Crawl through the fiery hole thou stained creature,
Step out betwixt the cities of the now and forever future!!!!

I ask you, what is math?
What are equations?
Factored life.
I charge it is living,
Senseless pained observations which we must make
So as to live another day, so as not to perish early
And die before a just time;
The degrees of life are right.
Man must stand *****, stiffen your spine,
But remain relaxed.
Straighten out your ethics, your morals;
Never forget from where you came.
Your ancestors, this planet.
That you are just in another herd.
No really different than any other animal,
Only in our intelligence.
Which is itself, a gift.
So give thanks to mother nature.
She could use it

constructed mentally, Over time
by our subconscious an imitation
as a defense mechanism built a prison on our visions, with Limitations  

in hopes failure can bring solace avoided is feeling voided
but so is opportunity,
So what good is impunity
if u have no ...immunity

To ******* preventing annuity
Internally u need unity
Cause self doubt can help hold u back when nothing else did so stupidly

U let the biased opinions
poison ur community
a hard lesson To learn when that lessons ur only gratuity

But how can u think Intuitively
When presented with all the theories
The factored potential risk, variables
And that's why I always fear me

Before my enemies or my obstacle
Cause if I'm not mentally stable
I won't be mentally able
And then eventually ill be hateful

Cuz essentially the playful
And light hearted always go
A little further, cuz his approach
And most self confidence shows

That even if he fails, he knows
Hell bounce back brilliantly
its not how many times u Fall,
but if u keep gettin up: Resiliency!

While at the same time learning humility and building these characteristics are prognosticators and measure predictions and see

When u wish on a star, that's me,
Go twinkle twinkle, &don;'t let them
****** ****** all over ur dreams and that includes you, who like them

Self sabotage  when ur self doubt
Comes out psyching ourselves out
Only after discovering someone else
Who made u second guess what u felt

So go in front of a mirror and peer
What appears when u get naked
Your ***** Now that u know u still have em
Take a mental picture and save it


Use the ****, to take life and **** it
break it, then erase it
Cause nothing can be written
About a destiny you didn't make yet

You act to manifest it
Don't eat their ******* reject it
If u already did dont digest it
Throw it up like a bulimic or anorexic

Supermodel.....how rude! Point is
Like H u need preparation fast
So u can get rich enough to payoff
Closeted Skeletons from the past

I saw you being pulled in a million directions
With so many opportunities,
New faces and places,
And that I was an anchor.
You would never tell me that,
Because you’re kind,
And you’re lovely,
And you see the best in everything and everyone,
But I know it’s true, because
I saw you.

So I took myself out of the equation—
I would rather watch you fly untethered,
Free of me
Than to be your ball and chain
Dragging you away from
The bright world in front of you,
The bright world you deserve.
I took myself out of the equation
Because I love you more than myself.
I wish I could put myself back in the equation every day,
But I have already been factored out,
A stray, pesky variable.
I mourn the solution to the equation everyday,
But your eyes still shine when I’m not around,
So I must have done right by you,
Even if not by myself.
I know, because
I saw you.

There’s a line in a book somewhere that says,
“She was the last person to look at me
And see me looking back,”
Or something like that.
And that’s how I feel about you—
You’re the last person to see me,
To really see me,
But I don’t see you looking back anymore.
I’m still here, looking back at you,
Even if sometimes it feels like we’re strangers,
But I look at you and see everything we’ve ever been,
Everything we are,
And everything we’ll ever be.
I look at you and almost remember what joy was,
What love was,
What belonging was,
What safety was.
Sometimes it makes me want to fall apart
All over again.
Sometimes I wonder if I should fully factor myself out
Of the equation,
But your pull on me is too strong,
And then
I see you.

The intercom drones
a circadian rhythm
around here &
the lighting is diffused
to keep the masses subdued.
Baggage checkers
act robotic
& it doesn't really matter
if you miss your flight,
have a problem with your seat.
It's all factored
into the system
that the control boys control,
behind the scenes
of this perfectly
orchestrated illusion.

I live in the absence of presence
proximity filled by emptiness
I look for a god in the machine
but the schematics are held by noncompliant fingers
tightly clutching my rightful deeds
and pointing in the opposite direction.

I’m alive so I feel compelled to live but don’t know how
so when I want to have a night I’ll never forget
I get ****** up
and when I have a night I never want to remember
I get even more ****** up
I think I’m having a good time
but my memory is pretty ****** up.

But something shines through my ****** up memories
a vision of when we first met
you asked me, “What are you up to?”
I misheard you and responded, “Yeah, I’m ****** up too.”
then we talked about this ****** up zoo
and how we could help each other through.

The connection we develop engenders nightmares
I have two kinds of ****** dreams
the ones where I have *** with people I don’t want
bizarre **** like relatives and ghosts
even ghost relatives—and relative ghosts
those dreams can get pretty ****** up
but the dreams where I’m with the people I want
are factored by the power of two
and are exponentially more ****** up.

The dreams become fantasies I can’t reconcile with reality
burying me in insecurity
thinking what keeps me alive is impossible to hold onto like air
I keep wildly grasping in desperate futility
suffocating in deprivation
until eventually I can’t feel anything anymore.

You notice my weakness and attack
you’re a vampire bat
echolocating past relationships you enjoyed more
I tell you you ****** up
and now must slum with a *** instead of number one.

I keep eating up your batshit insanity
contracting your coronavirus
I just want to sleep
I feel like I’m going to die
your fever dreams are sweat submerged stress nightmares
once I start drowning I try to scream
but all that escapes me are the bubbles I live in
they float on the surface, eventually popping.

You keep calling me a clown
so I joke you can juggle my *****
with dismissive sarcasm you respond I should try stand-up
but that’s already what I’m doing
you tell me to jump off a cliff
but I already have
exasperated, you scream I should literally **** myself
but I already write of my own death every night.

You separate from me like a head from a neck
after the noose that tied us together severed our connection
I fell to the ground and realized I was still alive
and started downplaying the bounty on my head
which seems much larger when one sees it on a wanted poster.

I’m not looking for a person
I’m searching for a feeling people are capable of delivering
I don’t care where I find it as long as I do
people often ask me if I’m more attracted to men or women
I find the question somewhat annoying and I’d rather not answer
but if you forced me to choose by putting a gun to my head
that might turn me on even more.

Thorough, and thoroughly,

Nearly through, throughly true. If ifity fit ifity fit, pfft. Pfft,

Ifity fit not, no fit no fit, wait, sh-it fits, in time, today

-thoughtless of me, wordless, wait ‘but through...’ word. text

-we need e- lectric, mind, appawareness usually clicks time

Was a word as all words are, mere after thought, mere means to points with no lines in reason

We must record this moment, we the scribes and proper scholars, art’s great sifters, shifting screens and lenses,

Lo' looking loci-precise, sharp, pattern
- memory verses versus Youtube.

From a long forgotten dance.

In time we have no long ago, after ever – does what ever does – you know,

Just, justice, just makes no real

Sense one may take as common, as where all is fair, yes, es-sense, knowing more than mere names of things seen. Sounds, reasonable, eh.

If you bring a reason, to the table, why... would you expect to win a reasoning contest?

Writer chose heads. You give a reason, we test it on history, and lead your learning based on attention paid patterns over time. Ai is on our side. Life is openbook.

Do you think? Why can you read these letters literally only forms of sounds words would make, if you

Stop, Look, Listen, train town brain, mindfullness, oh yes, fashionable, aware being as a ware,  
YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE

Selah.  

Page Break


After a full life, per each idle word in books that burned, lifes works that burned in time,

All the songs copied for the choir, all the poor scriveners treasures, burned, as by

Midnight oil, from the brain pan of a great blue whale... back when

Capitalization, o, a ver-ified manmental tool to frame course corrections...

means (n.)

"course of action,"  
late 14c.,  
from mean (n.); sense of "wealth, resources at one's disposal for accomplishing some object" is recorded  
by c. 1600. Compare French moyens, German Mittel. Phrase by no means is attested from late 15c. Man of means is from 1620s. Means-test  
"official inquiry into the private resources of an applicant for public funds" is from 1930.

1 aha footnotes have been invented for poets...

Ok. You set the style, I wish this to be easily read, on any powered page displaying device. {yeah, who owns the air? This is published for peer review, ears hear, ah, then attend} Was it good for you?

-some times

Some times iusta dissipate

And that we find amusing, amaze

Zoom, doom, doom, freeways,

Free mean path. Why factored.

The advantage of being old by any standards common in history. Our species lives about this long, in the realm of measured things.

--- In the cultural patterns, vibes, radio active ifery evers

Candide, the referee and me.
Information, where we reign, really

Leibnizian reasons for evil.

Truth, as life’s mean free path.

-Voltaire, definitely, might agree with Heisenberg.

If it were ever said.

Evil is the best worst outcome,

Chaos is not evil, chance is best

Judge, we need to seem fair.

The wall in Shiloam, answering the reasoning of Voltaire, on the air,

Imagine that. Footnotes. Or xv

Ctrl x, then v, besure

I say exactly the same thing

… to dissolve the political bands which have connected them {the we} with another, and  
to assume  
among the powers  
of the earth, the separate and equal station  
to which the Laws  
of Nature and  
of Nature's God entitle them,  
{when all that occurs,  

in the course  

of human events,  

we are yet in, it seems,  

time being as it is,  

SYFT- fit slipt} {Balaam’s *** has the curley braces- note that} {} for vocalization...

-Yes, when in this course, of course... what were we agreeing... as this we,

- go on... say why


a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. {same we}

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, -

Ok, that gets us 1000.

Here, just west of the Pacific Crest, we all are in constant contact, in touch state, stated

Wait. 5G is, livewitit.

Nonsense, this is not the rescue mission statement.  

We are here for fun. Peace is fun. Makesum.

What we do, we, soldiers of the ancient orders, duty bound and regimentally religamental, do & die with honor to the code. We,  
the people who know how to believe all men are created equal to the task,  wombed or un, we die knowing
failure is no option, there is no longer any other ever this is before.

---- did that occur in your ever?

@ today, 2022 tehkne- of course, freedom at the quantum level must be means-tested, mmmhmmm tested, measured for sensitivity to we, being the judges... we who chose freedom, down low, deep pro-fundus-mundus lizard brain, mitochondrial link, yeh,

Phoneme, yah, who, yes, at best is spirit one may deem worth something, a breath, may being
may, as a word described, an action, being... here, mere is

As God is said to be described by Jesus, in the good news,

Made plain enough, to build a whole plethora of reasons for war.

War with reason, by faith, or by the code, that which must be true?

Drama, the idea, information acted out, without words,

Mimes in boxes, you know, you can admire the best performances, and thus imagine a purpose, break dance contests in the joint.

Yeah, and poetry slams, no curses, no spells

When I grow up... I’ coulda been a contender, any contest,

If it ever came down to life and soul, I never bet my soul, I bet yours, and I live,

So see if sense is all mortals imagine, or not... spirit- ual ‘n’al.

By: Cedric McClester

Common sense
Should tell him immigrants
Can’t be deported wholesale
Or by the droves
Because everybody knows
That plan is doomed to fail
And no matter how tall
He seeks to build that wall
With girth and great expanse
Where's he gonna find the finance?

Keep all Muslims out
Is in great doubt
Once the ramifications
Have been factored out
And is he aware
We have allies there
Who are now voicing concern
Is he ever gonna learn
To keep his big mouth shut
Or is he just a nut

Keep the gays in check
With benign neglect
What an awful philosophy
To reverse their course
Without remorse
When it don’t make sense
Ya see
Trying to turn the clock back
Is not the way to act
He can’t change their destiny

And is he aware
That Obama Care
Is over twenty million strong
Who have what they lacked
So to ignore that fact
Would be nothing short of wrong
And in any case
It’s hard to replace
Despite his un-checked ambition
It’s a pre-existing condition



Cedric McClester, Copyright © 2016.  All rights reserved.

HOW TO DETERMINE IF YOUR MARRIAGE IS A GAY ONE:
For men, ask yourself: Why does my wife have a male name?
How come my wife doesn't *******? How come she's flat-
chested & bearded? Why is she having digital prostate exams?

HOW TO DETERMINE IF YOUR MARRIAGE IS A GAY ONE:
For women, ask yourself: Why does my husband have a female
name? How come my husband menstruates? How come he's
big-busted and beardless? Why is he having pap smears?