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Kimberly Jan 2023
It feels like you died.
Gone, out of my life.
In that instant you were taken away...
I try to find you
I really try to
I can not let go of you 'til this day...
One day if I see you,
I hope you will remember me, too
I will greet you
With tears bleeding down my face...
I hope I do see you
I really need you
Losing you only added to the pain.
I hate to say this
Do not know how you will take this
But at times I felt like you were to blame...
Only 'cause I was angry
At the reality of never seeing you again...
But I was never upset with you anyway...
It just hurts deeply
Your absence completely
Destroyed any progress we made...
The depth of my grieving
Thoughts of you leaving
There are times I can not function for days...
I sit on my bed, crying.
Devastated and desperately whispering your name...
Wishing you back has not worked yet...
But I am hoping that it will, some day....
This is part two to a piece I wrote about losing my therapist suddenly and unexpectedly, the one person I had in my life that gave me strength and love and support... She was everything I did not have my whole life and I made poems about the pain of not having her ...
Kimberly Jan 2023
When I would walk into your office
I would leave, almost thoughtless...
How I miss you... so very much.
I can not believe
How much it hurts me
I am still crying after seven months...
You; all I needed in my life
A mother figure, friend, healer all wrapped in one.
I was safe, open, comfortable...
I could be myself and that was more than enough.
I would cry, curse, make dark jokes
And it was never in your nature to judge...
We would come full circle by the end of each session
We had revelations about my life, the person I want to become...
You knew that I had a side of me that would make most people run...
You helped me heal when it killed me to deal
With all my pain and even things that I have done...
I fell to pieces on your couch
I told you secrets about
The things that broke me
Then you would patch me up.
You recognized me
Beneath my darkness
Nothing hurts more than losing someone does.
The background behind this poem is that I was blessed to have met the best therapist on the planet... she knew all of my trauma she was the best person in my life she made me strong. she was so funny and one day she told me that she had to go.... and then the last session we had I never saw or heard from her again... There is a part two. this piece was about what it was like having her, and part two will be about what it is like without her. I titled them MJ because her name was Jamie and I called her Miss Jamie. I will always love that woman.

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