I nervously shake.
I stare and wonder in curiosity.
I look around and see all the socializing.
Oh how I wish I could socialize

But instead I sit in the sidelines watching.
Hoping someone will go up to me.
But of course that will never happen.
I get nervous trying to speak.
I can’t speak.
I desperately want more friends.

But that’s not possible.

​
i am trapped.
trapped in my own mind and trapped in this family.
overprotective is what you are.
i can’t grow, i can’t spread my wings and be free.
i am numb, to the point of no return.

let me be. free me from this misery.
because i don’t think i can take it anymore.
i’ve debated a million times in my head if i should leave.
runaway from this place.

maybe then i’ll be happy, but what if i'm not?
living in this world is stressful.
worrying about what other people think of me.
trying to live up to the standard that is our society today.

worry about my hopeless future.
there’s no point anymore.
no point in living in this tragedy.
i shall take this gun to my head and remove myself from this tragedy once and for all.
god, let me join you.

scream.
i grab onto the walls.
i tumble down to the floor.
my head is falling apart.

​
Profanities coming out of her mouth while she hits.
The truth is being abusive she can’t admit.
And once again our family is split.
For your attention, I throw a fit.

Sitting in the living room while you’re on the computer
What are you looking at?
Leaning closer and you turn off the monitor
Are you hiding something?
What could it be?

Knocking on the door everyday
Oh no, who’s that other woman?
That’s not mother.
Mother doesn’t look like that.
That’s not mother’s voice.

Why is she in our house?
Why are you taking her to your bedroom?
Don’t understand.

Too young to understand
Got older
Realized what he had done

Filled with hatred because of you
You’ll never be forgiven
Not from me, not from mother
Disappear from my life.

You haven’t disappeared, have you?
Leave me, your child, here
Abandon me again

I don’t want to your hear your excuses
You are dead to me.

Don’t come asking for forgiveness when you don’t feel the slightest remorse for your infidelity.
Don’t come home yelling at me for being a failure when you were the one that raised me this way.

I am not your daughter.
I am the person you blame for your mistakes.
Go ahead.
Let your anger out on me.

Because I don’t feel anything anymore.
I only feel pity
Pity for you.

eyes wide open
words are choking
my heart is reopen
you are provoking

An empty house is what they would call it.
You came into the house, you would see nothing pleasant.
Only the mold forming from the mess.
The house was slowly filling with termites eating up the walls.
The smell of death has overcome the house.

You could hear the sound footsteps behind you as you walked up the stairs.
You could only help but wonder if you would fall to your death.
For the stairs were so high, you could miss one & you’d die.

The house was not a house anymore.
It was vacant, it had no more memories.
No voices, it was empty.
The only thing left was for it to be destroyed.

he told her he loved her
she told him she loved him
only one told the truth

I understand where it all went wrong
It went downhill the moment I found out about her

She was a new scene
A new air to breathe
Something that you wanted
But you had me.

You fell into the desire
And yet you called me the liar.
I was a fool
And yet I still believed you.

As we made love, you killed me.
At my last breath, I realized:
I was only a passing time
And a crime of passion

Flowers surround his tombstone
His epitaph is short
It reads Rest In Peace
Rest In Peace to whom?

Sniffles are heard throughout the eulogy
Dressed in all black to mourn the loss of him
Fake tears coming from all.

He was killed
Killed from the demons inside his head
He was driven to the point of insanity
Lived for 16 years, yet he felt dead his whole life.

A brother, son, and friend.
Lies.
They’re all lies.
He didn’t have anyone, nor did anyone have him.

Mistreated, Beaten, and Abused
That’s who he was.
No one knew a single thing about him.
Thrown out, never loved.

A suicide.

The world was against him
He was forgotten by everyone.
Forgotten when alive, but remembered when dead.

Rest In Peace

​
The nightmare woke me up.
I can’t breathe, I can’t move.
I’m terrified of what I just experienced.
Was it real or was it not?

Why was I being tortured in my sleep?
Who was the villain in my dream?
It was myself.
I was my own villain.

I tortured myself, I bullied myself.
Self-Hate, Self-Doubt.
It was my own mind.
I was chased endlessly with the hate.
The hate coming out of my own mouth.

I can’t speak.
I’m not mute, but I can’t seem to let the words out.
My hands are shaking at the thought of speaking.

Tears are falling from my eyes.
I can’t breathe.
My heart is palpitating at an enormous rate.
Thoughts run wild in my mind.

Then it stops.
A hand reaches out towards me.
I can’t help but stretch my hand towards it.
And for a moment, I felt safe.
Safe in those hands that were holding me.

But then they left.
They got tired of holding me like a child.
I was a helpless child on the inside.
Never had love, nor affection.

I thought I was safe,
But I was wrong.
I was left even more broken.
I was trapped in a tragedy.