She was kind to me once. Just once.
And when I clung to that kindness, she went so quiet.
"I don't want that" she'd mean to say,
but only with the absence of words did she ever speak to me.
And I, ever so lost
(like Alice if Alice were to speak a different language than the flowers and rabbit)
understood that death was at the end of this.
Death was the finish line, and I was sprinting in the dark.
Where was the end? I didn't know.
I didn't know anything.
The woman in the Mexican soap opera had cancer.
"This is it" I thought. "I am close to death".
It wasn't cancer. It wasn't anything.
"How will I escape death?" I thought.
"Death." I thought.
I thought I'd have to die to avoid death.
Unspoken language means nothing to Alice, Kim.
For you are Rabbit, and your need has fallen on deaf ears, on torn open heart, on Alice, on death, on death,
on me.
-
Unresolved trauma from 3 years ago.
Only now am I able to talk about it.
