Rai - Hello Poetry

Rai Aug 2015

Proud

I'm proud of the person I've become
It's good to know your worth
Even if at times
My mind tries to tell me I'm worthless and life
Does something stupid to reflect it back at me
Through all the love,the hate and the bloodshed
I really am pleased that I have become
Who I am today

Lessons learnt the hard way, I'm a kind caring person but I am no fool . I like being me.

Aug 2015

Rapunzoll

Infinite

You dream of someplace
where the men have better
reasons for calling and you
no longer feel so alone.

Where the sun shines
without the inevitability
of the rain, where the skies
aren't blackened by the
smoke of his cigarettes.

You'll exhale the fresh air,
and you won't remember
the colour of his eyes or the
scar above his left brow.

You'll forget how he
smirked when you said
that you loved him.

You're moving on, the
past will no longer suffocate
you with the fragrance of
its cheap perfume, you'll
learn to count the days rather
than to tick them off.

One day you'll step
forward without looking
back and you'll realize
you are infinite and he is
just a glitch in time.

#love #heartbreak #sad #depression #life #pain #memories #hurt #thoughts #you

Rai Aug 2015

I would of texed , but ....

Maybe I should never of tried to love
But it felt real
Even after I ******* myself over
and waited for you to stumble back
But I did try
I gave you as much as you would take
But looking back I think you
Just wanted moments
Moments of love
Moments of happiness
Moments of me
There's the problems
I wanted more than moments
You said I was your lover
But you fitted me nicely inside your box
Neatly putting me away when your desire for me
Was not alight
You told me I was your best friend
And yes sometimes you were mine too
But only if it fitted in
I should be able to call you at three in the morning if I need to
But I never would have even if I was hurting or scared
Its been fun but
I wanted a partner
I wanted more
Now I don't want that with you because I know you haven't got it to give
I should have know the first time
We cant be friends
It just doesn't work like that
I'm so sorry
This time I guess it really is good bye
I would of texed this to you but I think it safer
this way
The words I left unsaid
Because you didn't seem to hear me or see me anyway
But I did love you and it does hurt
You just didn't really see me

Enough now

Enough

Sometimes love hurts, we cant help being who we are , we all have different values and needs and desires sometimes get mixed up and spat out inappropriately (and god I did it good this time, usually the meek little mouse suddenly started to speak her mind and it didn't fit - though in this head I was just trying to make it better somehow )

Rai Aug 2015

Falling in self

You are beautifully etched below my skin line
Every flaw
Every silence felt within my void of emotions
Transparent and naked
Taking a finger you draw my face up to look at the sun that sets
within you
Your eyes are multifaceted and delicious
Like oceans that I want to bathe within
Climbing every wave higher than the last
Breathe taking
thirst quenching
Oh my
I am over my own head here
Whirling between fear and excitement
Lust, love and pain hold me hostage
I am ******* in the fortress of my mind
And I never will care if I am to stay here for eternity
I surrender my power
I breath pure ecstasy and release
In mine minds eye
My muse beckons for beautiful words and a love that is real
So here I have given my all
My everything
When morning comes
The sunrise will be my lover
The swaying grass will stroke my cheek
The warm breeze of summer will caress my silken skin
My heart will be full of another days desire
My life is my love
And my love is my life
I shall create something deep
Something worthy of my self

Every time I give my love to people who can not see my soul and it hurts

Rai Aug 2015

Surely

Meaningless words fall
Hurtful silences
Unspoken desires
The light fades
And then we are nothing more than a memory
Surely this isn't really what we call love?

Rai Jun 2015

Absent lover

When I was a child I thought life would be simple
Grow up
find yourself a prince
Then settle into a life which fills up all your desires
Hopes and wishes
Time was mistreated and now years later
Bones crushed and mended
Bruises faded and gone
Tears in my heart still hurt
Because I never did it right
Never found my prince
Many a frog in prince's clothing have come my way
To tease the very thought of love
To beckon and not deliver
To love and to leave
Now I am in limbo
A partner who lives in his own shell
Un needing for a life of companionship
Work and responsibilities taking up precious time
I feel alone so many times and I cant stand it
A hand to hold for just a moment
Moments are fleeting but few
But what else can there be
I fight with my feelings of unworthiness
Or my neediness
But wanting a lover and companion for more than one day in a fortnight surely that's not strange and clingy or needy
Maybe I'm just not cut out for this
I love him
But he never lays his hand upon my cheek whilst I cry
He never rubs my shoulders when they are sore
And he is not there for me to give the love I have in my heart
A crossroads
Tears fall and splash list fully upon my cheek bones
And then I will carry on living the single but not quite single life
Which comes with the absent lover