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Rai
Rai
Mar 25

Go figure
The writing on the wall is so clear
But still you fail to hear the warnings
That swirl around that confused mind of yours

Newspaper print simple
You left your mind behind whilst
Contemplating your next agenda

Should of been easy to understand
It was there right in front of you
Open your eyes dammit

Blood stains
The imaginary beasts that roll behind those glass eyes
Satin no longer stained with marks of love
Skin torn from your back has healed

The bruise inside your heart it festers still
Admit to yourself
Then release and forgive

You beg
Please don't let this be real
The shapes and hues are too bright and sharp to understand
Crumble to the ground
But at least you cant fall further

Further is where demons hide
Ready and waiting
A place of no return

Look closer at the writing on the wall
look in the mirror its written in biro across your forehead
Newspaper print in black and white
Says don't be afraid of the night
Its yourself you need to be afraid of

fear  self
Rai
Rai
Mar 25

I knew when I woke up this morning
  That I wanted to do something special
I wanted to entice you
  And your taste buds seemed the perfect place to start

I told you dinner would be at 6
  You said
Fine love now I'm going to be late for work
  I have a late meeting but I promise not to be late
See you at six
  Love you

  A new emotion was rising in my stomach
Or was it an old one revisited
  I planned
Not a natural cook
  But I can whip up a good feed when I need to

  I exceeded myself
I knew you would love it
  I wanted to see you smiling back at me
Knowing
  Just knowing Id made this special just for you

  Kids at the cinema
Time to spend
   Together
  Little does that happen now a days

  So I'm sitting here waiting
Contemplating what's more important than this
  Forgetting you don't understand because your not inside my head
  Your not answering the phone
Are you in traffic
  I wait
Then wait some more
  I sit trying to push aside the hurt
The rejection
  I feel like a child inside
I feel vulnerable
  Im quite out of control

  I eat in silence
No smiling face looking back at me
  I just wanted to see the twinkle in your eye

  You come in hours late
  The meal stale and congealing on the plate
  I think you tried to say sorry
But I feel numb inside
  So stay silent

I think I heard you weep
  I didn't want to make you sad
But have no control and don't know how to comfort
  Whilst Im in this hurting zone

  When you fell asleep tonight I kissed your forehead
  I know your busy
  I just need you
I love the very ground that you stand on
And I can feel the cracks steadily forming

This a comeback to Helens poem 'I missed you by several hours' sometimes lack of communication lets us down, people don't know what's going on inside your head unless you tell them, most of us have not learnt how to mind read ... not quite anyway x
Rai
Rai
Mar 24      Mar 24

They gave me steroids to heal my chest and now
No sleep cometh my way
So I will soak up the hour with soul cleansing writes
There is no time to worry
Work is laid aside unless wellness beacons
Maybe this is the reason
My soul was screaming for a connection  
Connect I will

Rai
Rai
Mar 24

Funny how life takes you to places
Where people write upon your soul
They show you themselves in colours so true
Then stamp their feet like toddlers out of control


*In valleys so deep I found my heart
He stood there arms wide open
He had been waiting such a long time
And yet never faltered in his understanding
I so love him for that


Lover of the night and sleeper of the day
Hawks fly better when chased by eagles I've heard
  
Fear cripples the soul
Fear encompasses all that we are
Leaving us bare


Beauty of all
Thankfulness of all
greatness is created at the feet of masters long past
And yet as poets we glow
We grow
We understand and we carry our souls with pride

Rai
Rai
Mar 6      Mar 7

Etched within reason
I knew the truth
But decided to ignore it all the same
Don't try to sway my opinion
I'll nod my head
Smile
And move towards the back
Yep your opinion counts
But I'm not interested
It bores me
I'm fundamentally proud
whatever that means
But hey
I watched them plant a willow tunnel in the grounds today
And now I want one
I really, really want one
Smack bang in the middle of my garden
Yes I know I wont have much garden left
But hey I can hide away from the world
The eternal bleeps of life
A poetess and her den
fragmented in her belief that life really is worth living
No really
It really is worth it
But you have to believe in yourself first
Or you just wont get it.

Rai
Rai
Mar 6

She wants to feel the softness of feathers upon the tips of her toes
Reaching out for comfort that will surely come
She caresses the moments before midnight
With suger kisses so sweet
Like honey coated forgiveness
She smiles into her lovers eyes of crystal dew
Beyond
Her sences reeling
Twirling, dancing
Like the figurine within an ancient music box
As the music surrounds the childs mind so pure
And yet
There is more captured within
The sweetness is soured only by memories
She paints with fingers in the suger
To forget
There are things so worth forgetting
She sees him sleeping and places
mirrors where his eyes once looked upon her
For now she will see herself
The way he see's
The blood from the girl child dried as he slept
There was to be no more sugered moments
No more honey for him to savour
she had seen
Her worth in his eyes
Such a shame sweet child
She should of loved herself with toes touching feathers
Reaching for a comfort
That would only be found in forgiveness of self
Far beyond the place he sleeps
With mirrored eyes of crystal dew

He awakes to find his beloved drenthed in death
He reaches for moments which never come
Her projection of him so false upon this moment
As in a moments seperation
She sees with her angel presence
The suger he tastes on lips so pure
His tears now mingle with the blood
As he tears her mirrors from his eyes
He understands not
The reason
Why white feathers are falling from the sky

Rai
Rai
Mar 4      Mar 5

There is a distance which has been crossed
A frown that has been replaced with a smile
And yes
I can honestly say
This time
I will allow myself
To partake in all the love that surrounds me
I will allow myself to be loved
By another
Because
This time I love me
I love my imperfections
Just as you did the first time round  
But this time I'm ready
For raging emotions
For storms and ships that sail away
Not really knowing where they are going
But just knowing for sure
That where ever we come to ground
We will be there together

 
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