Did you lay me down on a bed of nails and expect me to surrender my all ?
I felt the waves wash over and they engulfed all that was good
Dragging me down lower than I have ever fallen freely
I wanted a lover
But you entwined your darkness into my light
No one heard the screams
The midnight hour so haunting
A chill lay in place of your heart
You looked straight through me just before you leapt
Head first into oblivion
I just stood motionless for what seemed like a million years
Then I turntable and left
The memory is hollow
But it is memory all the same

I beckon you here
But not so that I can surrender to your will
But so that I can show you the truth in all things good
You may shy away
Hide in those self created shadows of misery
But I will  lay waiting
Just past midnight
The chill and silence deafen my soul
My love I beg
I beg
I'm falling
I'm sitting within your oblivion
Surrounded by creatures not of this world
Demons reign and I fear the fall
I turn
I always turn
You may leap into the hollowness of oblivion
But I fear it's clutches
I fear the hand of love
So turn tail and return
To the moment before midnight
The moment just before
The memory lingers
And the strike of twelve is never heard

Shadows bless the night
As we huddle tighter
Sharing a sacred journey
Adversity piles upon us at times
But our human nature screams
Survival at all costs
If I reached out my hand
Would you accept
If I humbled myself at your feet
Would you stay
Or would you run
Afraid and confused of your own reflection
Cotton candy
As sweet as spice
Exquisitely the spider weaves her
Majestic web
As we weave our stories with the threads of time illuminated in the heavens for those who have gone before us
Be it a simple question of time
Of misunderstandings
Or lost promises
We will return
In circles we spiral upwards
Holding onto the very thread that bore our bodies from dust and turned them into the stars I see within your eyes
You are my muse
You are all and everything
Without means words don’t flow
Feelings stay intombed
And my body will return to dust before it betrays you

She wants to feel the softness of feathers upon the tips of her toes
Reaching out for comfort that will surely come
Caresses the moments before midnight
With suger kisses so sweet
Like honey coated forgiveness
She smiles into her lovers eyes of crystal dew
Beyond
Her sences reeling
Twirling, dancing
Like the figurine within an ancient music box
As the music surrounds the childs mind so pure
And yet
There is more captured within
The sweetness is soured only by memories
She paints with fingers in the suger
To forget
There are things so worth forgetting
She sees him sleeping and places
mirrors where his eyes once looked upon her
For now she will see herself
The way he see's
The blood from the girl child dried as he slept
There was to be no more sugered moments
No more honey for him to savour
she had seen
Her worth in his eyes
Such a shame sweet child
She should of loved herself with toes touching feathers
Reaching for a comfort
That would only be found in forgiveness of self
Far beyond the place he sleeps
With mirrored eyes of crystal dew

He awakes to find his beloved drenthed in death
He reaches for moments which never come
Her projection of him so false upon this moment
As in a moments seperation
She sees with her angel presence
The suger he tastes on lips so pure
His tears now mingle with the blood
As he tears her mirrors from his eyes
He understands not
The reason
Why white feathers are falling from the sky

Be I worthy
To hold my head above the clouds in your eyes
In a sky blue horizon
She sips nectar with the
Hummingbird queen
In moments of gentle surrender
But still I ask
Am I worthy
To watch upon thee
In these moments so sublimely tender
Spiraling tears of court room jesters
To old to perform
To young to die
Be I worthy
To hold the jewels which bind thee
To the ground
With which you freely walk
See her watching the waves
Which beckon her fate
Sweet necter of a dawn so new
Crystalised in the breathe of angels
Breath upon my cheek before I fall
Sweet mother of life itself
I be worthy
I have never been so sure

She wears fine cloth made from star dust
Sheer and fine
Jewels hang like tears from the edges of her gown
The moon is high and beckoning for her recognition
For this is a time of harvest and the wolves are howling their knowing
Hold tight child in womb all will soon be shown to you
Life returns to dust
As lovers can not agree to let love just be
The light of source is touching the spirit
Making us feel strong
Binding all that is together in its natural rhythm
Drums sound and smoke rises
Lady of this magical night stands forth and offers herself
To the great creator
Creator of distruction as much as creator of spirit
As both are of the same
Bathe in moon lit rivers and spend time with soul
Tomorrow we will hunt and break bread with fools

She sits in shadows
Displaced by life
Forgotten by self
Dejected by all those Crows that fly Northwards
A Sparrow hawk calls
She remembers him but utters nothing
that is desirable
He flies onwards
Never to look upon her
Dark princess
Of lower grounds
She holds fast and keeps council with demons
Demons who roam the corridors of her soul
Pulling the cloak over her nakedness
as the stage  illuminates the way
An actress of sorts
Another west end show
A vagabond who plays her hero
Darkness falls from her
And all who are touched by her fateful hand
Will linger no more in sun drenched meadows
Too bright to see
Too good to believe
Her fearfulness becomes her
Her innocence laid bare upon a slab of false regret
Be he gone from her mind
She may be free
For what lingers a princess in darkness
Than a love betrayed
The darkened hour may find its way into any heart
The broken man
Can do as he tries
But stumbles when he beholds her stare.

You are beautifully etched below my skin line
Every flaw
Every silence felt within my void of emotions
Transparent and naked
Taking a finger you draw my face up to look at the sun that sets
within you
Your eyes are multifaceted and delicious
Like oceans that I want to bathe within
Climbing every wave higher than the last
Breathe taking
thirst quenching
Oh my
I am over my own head here
Whirling between fear and excitement
Lust, love and pain hold me hostage
I am ******* in the fortress of my mind
And I never will care if I am to stay here for eternity
I surrender my power
I breath pure ecstasy and release
In mine minds eye
My muse beckons for beautiful words and a love that is real
So here I have given my all
My everything
When morning comes
The sunrise will be my lover
The swaying grass will stroke my cheek
The warm breeze of summer will caress my silken skin
My heart will be full of another days desire
My life is my love
And my love is my life
I shall create something deep
Something worthy of my self

Today I came back to the old poetic grounds
wandering at will
I found myself beside a river bed
There was a old man fishing
The trout was rising high
And he had a smile upon his face
He turned to me
And I knew he knew
Why do tears still roll
I never knew you
I never looked into your eyes
But you gave us a mirror
In which we could look into our own souls
You gave us a river so we could gaze into your heart
You gave wisdom
You gave friendship
You gave so much  
I will wander back now and then
If not to just sit beside your river
And dip my toes
Into my memories of a poet
Who is now dancing with the stars

God some people **** my body

It  brings moments of satisfaction

but not much else

God some people **** my brain

its brings nothing that feels like satisfaction

but i learn so much from them

She wove baskets for a living
Simple lass
Not a penny to her name
But a heart so free
She found her happiness
Floating on the breeze
That held onto her memories
Of a time when

He came full of wealth
Missing something all his life
He saw it in her eyes
A heart so caged
Waiting to be set free

Whisper on the breeze of understanding
As you looked  into her eyes
Sapphire glances
Sadness so complete
As strangers do pass
A match of a kind
But he was so blind

He saw kindness
A face porcelain laid
Dark hair cascading
In ringlets
Dancing onto her shoulder’s so bare
He wanted her too much

When he looked into those diamond eyes
Her rags became another’s disguise
But when he awoke
His mind played a snobbish joke
How dare she look upon his face?
Tantalising
*****
Fool
Fake
How dare she tempt him
With her sapphire sweetness
And pureness of heart

Poor child
She saw his fear
She saw him
Caged
She felt him
Poor child
Who had fallen from a moment’s grace?

Some day she will wear diamonds and pearls
Someday this child will rule the world
One day the noble man will fall a fool
Never to stare into the golden pool

She was an angel
Come to test
The rest of the tale is now
Laid to rest

So back again
Walking the shadows of sleeplisness
This time
Tablet in hand
An answer maybe
But not the one you may assume
If only you could read my mind
Probably best not to
Confusion has taken up residency of late
Such a strange moment
When technology astounds us once more
And words change their meanings
Ok I'm waffling
Sleep comes not fast
As the wind hounds bark
And the silver moon plays havoc
With my instincts
I would walk the moors
But there are no moors around here
So in dreaming I must excape I guess
First to down this tablet
Technology
And I don't even need water
Infact I'll just place it on the bedside table
That's all there is to it
Once I've switch it off that is.

Tenderness flawed by the endless need
to hold on to your own sanity
I turned to look for you
But saw nothing
A desert stretched out before me
It felt as though death had
buried you before my return
No face
Where faces loomed
No presence to fill the gloom
Tenderness within the silk of the hour
was surely mine to bestow

As the morning of my life ends
And childhood seems so far away
The afternoon splendour greets my senses
Beckon me forward
Else I will willingly stay within my embryonic state of childhood dreams
The poets who have written across my sky are lying down to rest
The darkness has engulfed them for one last fight
Warriors of the night
Lost in the darkness of the days realities
Will they still be dreaming
Of worlds within
The ones they could never quite touch
Bathsheba left first in a puff of smoke
She was a time lord
A mystery
But she sold her dreams to the darkness
And reality  hit hard
Sweet Paddy to meadows of golden corn you fled
A soul to true
A poet so wise
Writing of you brings tears glory to mine eyes
I see you
I sense you
Sitting by side the flowing brook
Richard he left
Contemplating what his life was all about
Hello poetry
Was sinking and he needed to find an escape hatch
Funny how our poetry lives mirror us so well
But then I guess his bleeding heart
Was swelling and needed to exploded
I still see the ghost of a man I used to call friend
But reality must be sweet
For never an ear do we lend
Jp caught a train
Probably he is stuck in some obscure hotel room
Up to his ole tricks
Or just travelling the journey of his life
Whilst holding onto his sanity
Who knows I hope maybe to see him sometime
I do like a good train journey
You never know who your find along the way
Bill with his dog name bear
I sent him emails but he doesn't reply anymore
Last time I heard he was happy in love
Im hoping this soft soul has found all he needs and is happy

As the reality ***** the life out
And the darkness lets go
They find the light
Or they loose the fight

When I hear that your leaving it makes me emotional at a root level
A soul level
A god dam
Here goes another one level

But its ok
I leave for months
I leave for years
You know I'm still here
You know we breath the same air
We look at the same moon
Smile at the same stars
This is what a soul connection is all about
We are here to be connected
And that connection
Will not waver
Distance
Sight
Nothing

The emptiness is full of the words of poets
Spoken
Dreamt
Thought
In our lives we create something so dark so  beautiful
Only the poet would understand
Though the mortal man of reality
May touch upon and live our words for a while

Time whirls past at a significant speed
Atoms dancing within the miracle we call our lives
Lines on faces appear from all the laughter we share
Tears no longer etch our pain but release and surrender to something so pure you can almost mould it within your palms
To truly love all that is part of this world
The duality framed within understanding
Feeling blessed
Every soul that has breathed upon my moments and shared in my sunrises
I bless you and the unique moments you have brought  
Hold fast and I send love to all who live with sorrow in their hearts
Yesterday I lived many lives
I had many faces
And now I help the universe to mould the future
For what are we here for
If not to remember
If not to surrender
If not to release and burn down those barricades
That keep us so trapped to a moment that no longer bares credence on our time
Live full
Live so full
The tears I catch from the sky are tainted by your love  
Live so full that the survivor within you can no longer sit in shadows believing he is a fool
For you are a king , a queen
You are
As I am I

You come creeping in
cut me down
You would rather call me lier
Than know the truth
Looking sidewards
When met by my truths you close your mind
Not wanting to know
I saw you
walking  dusty roads to forget the meaning
fragmented lines of meaningless segments
haunted like a child abandoned to the wind
I will not turn into the hollow frame
I once was
You filled my soul
Made me fly
And yet
Where are you now
Memories hold
Sunshine
Which flickers through shadows
I so yearn for more than I have now
Please
Just please is all I have to say  
Before tomorrow engolfs me once more

Breath
Relax
Don't forget to breath
Hold on
Breath
Don't forget to relax
Going within
Don't forget to breath
Drowning in your own minds manifestations
STOP
Hold on
Relax
Breath
And recreate
Never forgeting to breath in life
And breath out your frustrations

Sinking teeth

Flesh so smooth upon my  touch

creature of the night

beckon forth and love

my wounded heart

blood drips slowly

quickly the fear is replaced

by the wanting

of tyne flesh

I shall now feed

and be whole once more

There is a distance which has been crossed
A frown that has been replaced with a smile
And yes
I can honestly say
This time
I will allow myself
To partake in all the love that surrounds me
I will allow myself to be loved
By another
Because
This time I love me
I love my imperfections
Just as you did the first time round  
But this time I'm ready
For raging emotions
For storms and ships that sail away
Not really knowing where they are going
But just knowing for sure
That where ever we come to ground
We will be there together

Consuming denial
I feel like a ******
But know there is no silent release
From the pain running a riot around my body
A touch
A smile
A meer recognition
Of what you've done
But no
For you
Running in the opposite direction
Not admitting to the truth
Is far easier
She isn't me
She can't ever be me
So when you turn looking
Don't expect to see me smile
But you know
I don't believe for a minute
That this love affair is over
But then I would have to admit
And a ****** is a ******
Whatever the drug

I run my fingertips
Through fields of gold
Touching on the edge of your reasoning

Blue
A moment of sadness
Or the colour of tranquility

Ripping skin
Painful memories
A distance
A time that has slipped away

Single handed perfection
An artist of words
play with fire if you will
for tomorrow
My voice will hold the
Fire of a molitude

If the illusion of life ways you down
Hold fast
For we can never know
When life will deal an ace

Be ready to paint grafitti
Across the sky in the hues of your emotions  

*Let there be time to fly just once before we die

You held me closer to your  skin than felt comfortable*
Come on we are only passing strangers
There's no need for all these niceties
Pass me a cigarette and be gone with you*
The moon is high and I'd rather be alone with my thoughts of who you might of been

Sober for a change
I wipe your sweat from my brow
Too close brother god dam you
Did I say you could come that close
Pushing through my barriers
There's such a thing as personal space my friend

Do I want to join you for a drink
I don't think so
Yep I may have called you friend but that doesn't make you my family
My brother
Hell in just a moment I'm joining the other wanderers on the road to oblivion
Until then speak your truths
Tell no lies

I see you hide behind eyes of ice cold blue
The hues are amazing
But they aren't enough to catch this heart
Not on a night like this anyhow

Ok so your cultured and refined
Behind your grey shaggy hair and your hair spiked chin
Your breathing is shallow upon my skin

Why do you try to touch my soul
Do you really think there's anything left
I've been bleeding on these god dam paper sheets for years now
An obscure poetess from the other side of town
No body notices me
Not until now that is I guess

You deal
Ill win
I always do

You stand silhouetted in the light of the window
I'm sure you were once a handsome soul
Something like loneliness lines your brow
A feeling of need arises in my chest

You are an angel of darkness
And so I let you stay
You may wander my corridors a while if you desire
What be it you desire my way wood friend
You touch so much more
And words will not give away the secrets our bodies hold

Sleep fast on pillows of Egyptian cotton
Crisp white sheets
Blood stained
By my poets hand

Tomorrow you will run wild
Beckoning for your freedom
The silhouetted man with a need for a connection

*Spit me out quick
Before your words fail you

Remember
When I kissed
Your naked soulfire
Gently caressing the time
We spent between moments so fragile
Like porcelain dolls
Fragile in their meer existence
Capable of splender
Or distroyed
Crumbling to dust
Time has come full circle
Meeting in my dreamtime
Shades of a new horizon
Exquisite upon the ivory keys
A melody of life yet born
And yet so silent is the tune of my love
Bare not a scorn
For past illusions
I lay soulfire naked before your throne
Pheonix rise to meet your challenge
A myriad of emotions freefall
Landing upon your eyelids
I may put fear where fear is unwanted
But remember
Your soul is beckoning you
To be all that you can
So in letting go
You are merely
Recognising
Yourself
Within the illusion

Holding small reminders within the moments after
Frail in our own existence
Laid bare now
You have seen my darkness first hand
There is no more to me now
Self respect crumbled in pavements travelled by many a stranger
Satin touch of the purest existence
Madness holds me close to my godself
Madness frees me from my illusions of this world
There is only love which exists
Some love to love
Some live to write of love laid upon the shore
Some live to fight , to ****
Love is all there is when faced with self denial
Hold me within the softness of rose petals
But when you drop me
The thorns will make me whole again
Blood red
Beautiful
Happy to be alive within
Even if to you all
You only see a broken frame

If i close my eyes

I can see beyond the void

And into the vortex

Its warm  there

like a child

I crawl in slowly

Believing

The world

Is on my side

I feel safe

Here i may stay until

like a flower

The summer ends

And i die

Leaving only my seeds

Beautiful creation

Renewable power

The belief that miracles lie

At the centre of this vortex

Therefore there is

Always

Hope for another moment

As a flower

Within all of this existence

Tracing your outline
With my fingertip
Becomes harder
When memories lapse and
I no longer remember your face
Then it really is goodbye for the last time
The dust that sits upon my finger tip
Knows where Im headed
And why I could no longer suffer
for your peace of mind

like icecream
So sweet and yet
So cold
You are melting in moments
Before heaven excapes you
Bliss
To feel
To know
To reason with self
That all the reasons you have chosen are you own
So cold like ice
Touch me
With words
Between sentences
That surely couid never belong to just one soul

Etched within reason
I knew the truth
But decided to ignore it all the same
Don't try to sway my opinion
I'll nod my head
Smile
And move towards the back
Yep your opinion counts
But I'm not interested
It bores me
I'm fundamentally proud
whatever that means
But hey
I watched them plant a willow tunnel in the grounds today
And now I want one
I really, really want one
Smack bang in the middle of my garden
Yes I know I wont have much garden left
But hey I can hide away from the world
The eternal bleeps of life
A poetess and her den
fragmented in her belief that life really is worth living
No really
It really is worth it
But you have to believe in yourself first
Or you just wont get it.

Shivering energy
Running riot
Trying to hold on
Wanting so much
To pick up the phone
To tell you
That I can live without you
But its not my Desire
That I can hold on stronger
But I do.t feel strong
Tears falling like diamonds
Priceless moments
Left behind
I fell
I stumbled
But I will not give in to
The feeling of hopelessness
Which threatens
My senses

I always remember the man
from the chitti chitti bang bang film
you know the one  
he lured the children out of the
toy makers shop with candy and lollipops
He scared me senceless
With his tall hat
and pointy long noise
I have met a lot of people like him in my life
They tempt you with
Whatever it is they think you want
And then just when they think
You are weak
They catch you in thier trap
I always loved that film
Just as I love my life
Wish i could forget
That man in the tall hat
With the long noise
If I watched it now
He would still make me feel the same

My words don’t always come out graceful and tamed
That’s when I usually get myself into trouble
Maybe a little rebellion is needed
Just now and again

I  am your Mighty dragon from within

boundlessly

hopingly

knowingly

I sour above this

maddening crowd

Trying to protect my lady

Guyums soldiers come

he wants to steel her beauty for his own

her soul is made from gems so pure

Diamond pools surround her palace

Great dragon of spirits protects and  

surveys all she  has created

Woodships wait to sail

fairy maidens their wings do polish

Hobbits and men come forth

ready for the battle to come

avatar

man of my own breathe

Be beside me

love will quench the fire and

storm that rages on the other side  

The salt celler is full

go sprinkle around your havens

protect we must from the dark priest

White stallons take thye knights and

warn the great lord of our arrival

I need the help of the bright side

The walls will come come down

before the night turns to dawn

But

beware false prophersy

for it is sure to blind thee

and trust no one until you return to the fold

Be gone now from me great warriers

She thinks she knows that I'm falling
She tries to distroy all that I hold sacred
But come let me remove my shoes and pass them over
They fit her so well
Walk awhile
Get the feeling
The feeling that is my life
But she won't be feeling what I would be feeling would she
It's no good thinking if I was in her shoes I'd be

Going mad right now

If I was in her shoes
I couldn't hang on to my sanity

Because that would just be her
With her mental issues
Pretending that she knows what's going on
In my head

So
Please don't be worried about me
Please don't go see the boss

Oh **** you already have
How kind

She couldnt even work out how to put my shoes on

I have been through life times of heart ache
I have been dragged and drugged
And punished and loved

Yes loved

That hurts the most sometimes

*Give me back my shoes now
And go look at your own reflection in the mirror
Instead of projecting onto me

We were never anything more
You took my trust
And stampled it to the ground
We were nothing more
Than a wanting
An unsatisfied plea for help
You touch upon
That place within
I never told you
How I really felt
You were too busy falling for fools
You were too busy pulling me down
The time you threw me in the gutter
The tears mingling with puddles of remorse
The stab of failed friendship
I loved you
For all the cruelty you dealt me
Broken hearted
Now I never fall so hard
Tears never fall
Mirrors only reflect scars left from warfare
That way
I managed to keep my head above water
I am my own life jacket
So swim or drown
I know I made my choise
It's good
When you know your armour will keep you safe

Briefly I catch a glimpse of your reality
The ripples of your self confessed desire
Shimmer on in my thoughts
Heaven only knows
Where your angels lie sleeping
Whilst your demons never seem to rest
A moment
Is all that is taken
A tear
For a worthy apponent
Who fell short
And who couldn't find the strength
Or will to carry on
Holding against my breast
The picture I took
You were laughing at some obscure
Remark made about life in general
Your outlook blinded by the ripples of circumstance
I loved you then
As I love you now
Yet I have lost that hollow emptiness
That threatened to swollow me whole
Peaceful summer evenings
Drinking rose
Remonising on lifes finer qualities
Under willow trees
That no longer weep your name
Seem to hold the dreams of lovers yet met,
Poems yet written and days not yet spent
Life is only good when we believe
So believe my friend
In dreams
In hope
In beautiful horizons laid bare
I will see you there maybe
In futures warm embrace
Amongst words
Within dreams
The essence of life holds me
Lifting me higher so that I May see reality
As never I saw it before

The coffee cup holds memories of last nights lipstick
Passion and fire
The desire to be wanted more
Clings to the recesses of my heart strings
He left early
Quietly slipping away before the morning
Could bring new arrangments
In an already disorganised life

Shrugging off the mild feeling of rejection
She stretches her arms up high
And breathes in all the goodness that
Is her life

Strange moments when desire meets its destination
How strange that she would not have it any other way

Morning brings rays of sunshine that bounce against the
Prisms that hang around the room inside her heart
The momentary awareness makes her realise
She misses her friends
It is time to catch the train back home

Oh how she loves the feeling of new beginings
Reuniting with who she really is
And who she has become

There are many desire's she harbour's in her bay of understanding
If you allow her to teather her boat
for a while upon your shore
You will smile with the child within her eyes
And she will hold on tight
Whilst she bathes with you
Within an ocean so blue