when push comes to shove
i will always crumble under your pressure
filling in the cracks
so you can walk along a smoother path

I climbed the highest mountain I could find
Screamed at the top of my lungs
"I love you"
But nothing echoed back

I can't keep running in circles
But there's never a fork in the road
no other way to go but forward
forward always leads back to the same spot
I swear I'll burn my own path straight through the forest
No more circles
No more paths
I'll start a forest fire if I have to

sometimes self care is
polysporin and bandages
tending to the wounds
of your own self destruction

it wasnt easy
passing you in the hallways
it wasnt easy  
watching things go on without me there
it wasnt easy
feeling alone
it wasnt easy doing what i did
but i wasnt going to ruin anything else
it still isnt easy
i see you in the halls
i see you with them being perfectly okay
i'm still alone
no one has ever really stood by me
i wish you had

its funny how i find more comfort
in a cold metal blade than you
a pulse can't be trusted
cold steel can't twist my words
unlike everything else
its the one thing i can control

i miss you i whisper
fog forming in front of me
staring into empty space
that used to be filled
now its a cold slab of concrete
with little details of midnight memories we made
it’s a scene in my mind i can see clearly but could never remake
not alone
i miss you i yell
the hills only yell it back at me
reminding me that i’m alone
that the only thing that will hold me tonight
is an old hoodie we shared
your smell has faded
i miss you... all of you
come back and remind what these warm winter nights were like