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she feels words like pictures that move
reads books solitaire with the afternoon
coffee on her tongue
she turns the page
sets her cup down
and marks her place

in her mind she tries to find
a single place where thoughts subside
and try she may
to drown her lies
only thing wet
her lonely eyes

© Melissa Carlson 2015
  Mar 2016 Melissa Joy Carlson
Rina
Realizing now that I'm not okay, and that's okay
  Mar 2016 Melissa Joy Carlson
q
I love you
even if it hurts

I love you
even if you don't

I love you
even if I have to bear the pain of watching you with her

I love you
even if I shed tears in the dark

I love you
even if I am no longer the reason behind the smile that used to be only mine

I love you
even if it starts to eat me up alive

I love you
even if it turns me into a complete mess

I love you
even if I stop breathing

I love you
*because loving you brings out the human in me
Somewhere deep, inside her soul

She often craved to be complete, to be whole

To be kissed without being judged

To have her bruises loved

Without being hurt.

She prayed to be prayed for

To be sought after

To be longed for

Just for once

She wanted to be, not someone’s leftover or looked down upon

But someone’s one and only one
We all have the innate desire to be loved, to be craved for, to have our wounds and scars kissed, to be longed for. But we often hold on to that feeling and keep it suppressed within, fearing that maybe we are asking for too much and may not be worthy.
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