it's funny how i never expected to be the one apologizing.
you see, i'm usually the one who gets hurt and the one who is left wondering what I did wrong. What made them leave me?
But it's the other way around now, I didn't mean to hurt you.
I think there's just so much sad in me that I just exploded like a grenade hurting everyone around me. This sounds like an excuse and I don't want it to be. I truly am sorry for everything that I have caused you.
I think I've been hurt too many times in the past that I've built a wall surrounding myself to prevent me from getting hurt more. I don't expect you to understand or accept my apology.
I think I should leave but you see, I feel like poison ivy, I'm wrapped around you and I can't let go.
But you can die from poison ivy so I think you're just going to have to cut me off.
I won't want to leave and I don't think I ever will. But I'm not healthy for you.
I'm sorry, but I don't think those words will ever do any justice.
The other people don't matter to me, I was just trying to fill up a void. To try and find a muse but it failed miserably. I hope you know that.
I should leave, I'm rambling and I probably am to stall time because this hurts me too even if you may not see it.

i'm so sorry i hurt you
and him and you
and i just caused grief and pain to so many
and i know you don't want to have anything to do with me
that's understandable,
i don't even want me
nobody does
but that's not the point,
i'm sorry
i ******* apologize.
I'm sorry, i mess up a lot
and it's in my nature and this isn't okay. I know, it's an excuse
but the truth, the truth let me tell you hurts and it feels like an avalanche
back to the point. The truth is you'll never like me
and it h u r t s
but i'm okay
i'll be fine like usual
i hope you're doing well

running away from reality gets tiring after awhile
i wonder if you ever felt like that
the clouds seem happy today but i miss you,
i didn't know this is how you felt like
"i'm sorry"
"did it hurt?"
"i'm drowning again, how about you?"
Far too often than not, I want to jump and fly; however, i'm falling instead

the light touches me and i'm in pain; i feel hurt everywhere,
i look at you and i feel the bruises start to form:
you're glorious and i'm miserable
you're a god while i'm a wilted plant
you took the wrong -or right in your opinion- turn and i was your fork in the road

he wrote poetry for her but she laughed and called it silly, he burned his ink-stained fingers and cut his hair, he picked up a circular object with lines rimmed around it and threw it around in the air.
he aimed and shot,
she started to pay attention and started to laugh with him, not at him
but his ink-stained fingers started to grow back