I don’t think I can be a loser anymore. Aspirations and dreams are just a carrot on a stick in front of my gullible face.  Money, health, wisdom and worth, are all shot. Love is just now lust.  Everyday is a battle tarnishing my brain with delusion and grandeur.  I don’t think I can take it anymore. The worm has spread. Burrowed through decades of hate and disgust, self-loathing and anger. Medication does not help, only deteriorates the burrowing for a couple of months. The worm still moves forward without any hesitation or remembrance of anything stopping it. It just keeps moving.  

It’s probably why I feel cold all the time now. The dark trail, flexible like a shadow, contours and covers my entire brain, changing memories to have a twisted taint coat add a glimmer of despair. My words are short and bitter. No patience to haggle over minor details or to listen to the greener than ever before envy.  

Tried looking for an escape and just couldn’t find one. Hours upon hours of endlessly looking for an inch, finding a deficit. Maybe that is the worm talking. There are those who love me but that just adds to the great fire of it all. Withering away so badly my visage is flailing, fighting more than me, to maintain its composure.

Even now typing this, just right clicking to find what is right, how I should write. Staring into nothingness scrolling on. My hope and dreams are gone. Will I move on? Before the worm is done?

Why should I tell you?
Would you care?
Would you help?
What would you do?
Afraid of the cold shoulder or a negative impact
For which it would break me in two
I cannot take it from you
I have experience in taking in the damage not known
A soul conflicted of what to do
Why I don’t tell you
Is to save us all together

Examining the swamp
Dense fog and uneven mud
Whispers fill the wind of thoughts I should say
Examining the dawn
Ray of light paves the way
Of what I am truly meant to say
Although both speak true, I cannot seem to speak
As the mud passes over my feet and drowns in any sense of escape
How I truly mean to say I love you
But remain so far away.

Trapped in a crypt
Only light is a blemish of fire
Making my way through this maze
With the hope of fire giving me the glaze
To see my way through

I stumble upon these puzzles
Many on the wall
Making sense of them
May help my will to escape

On and on I go
Figuring this as I Go
The glimmer of hope guiding me
Finding the solutions I seek

I solve one and leads me down the path
The fire grows as I get closer to the end
Finally the maze has provided me an answer
Many still need answering, but I can escape

At the entrance all I see is light
I made it
Lights get brighter and brighter as it becomes blinding
I tumble back down in the maze
But have no way to see
As if the light took its source and fled
Lying me there wishing I was dead

On and on I go
Wishing for my soul for peace
Still figuring this out as I go
No hope guiding me now.

Odds to find millions
Only need one
Could use few others
Sitting on the plain
Casper should be my name
A flickering flimsy switch
Faulting to find a side
Just need one

Jack and jerry noticed a dam
This **** dam was huge and leaking
What came out was liquefied gold, most desirable
Both reveled in it and wanted more
BAM BOOM DING
More of this lovely treasure leaked out
Giddy realization kicked in rather quick and both had this dream now
Set hours, shifts and turns were done
Both got blinded by their desire
Working overtime on this feat
The dam leaked and the rest is history.