7 months, 2 weeks, and 3 days later,
those lines i draw across
my wrists aren't drawn
with a marker anymore

228 days later, and those
7 months, 2 weeks, and 3 days
don't matter anymore

I crave emotion like I crave pizza
But I can't have it
I can't let myself devour every ounce of love that comes my way
I can't become dependent on the infamous L word that has broken me
I'm emotionally anorexic,
But sometimes I'm bulimic
Sometimes I'll hunt down my prey, and **** them dry of their love
I'll crave it until I'm stuffed full, and then I'll purge it out
I'll tell them I hate them,
I'll tell them to leave forever
I'll push them away until I'm broken and sad and alone
And anorexic again
Until I'm back where I belong, in the corner of my room
Crying, sobbing, craving affection, but not letting myself have it
Because I don't want to be fat with lust
I can't gain a single pound because if I do
I'll be weak.

you're not supposed to be this mean
to the person that you love
you aren't supposed to be so
passive-aggressive
who hurt you
when your heart was still growing?
it was not me i was not born

the black lines
i draw across my wrist
have nothing to the red blood
that washes away with my tears

the black lines
i draw across my wrist
keep me sane
because i can
rinse away the sorrow

the black lines
i draw across my wrist
can't take away
the pain of tomorrow
but can take away
the pain of today

the black lines
I draw across my wrist
can't compare to
the sharpness of
the smooth silver blade
i tore out of a
pencil sharpener

The black lines
i draw across my wrist
won't last for long
not leaving a scar
nor a sign that shows
i am not strong enough

I think my head's exploding,
but I've hurt like this since the womb.
The oxygen is waning,
here in this shrinking room.

Food haunts her like a monster
Seeking to devour her fragile facade
I don't understand anorexia.
Just eat something! Oh my god.

I won't deprive myself of nutrients,
but I'll strip my lungs of air.
I'm terrified of taking deep breaths.
What if she can't share?

She has scars all over her pale wrists
But I doubt she's ever felt pain.
She doesn't know how blessed she is
Or maybe she's just insane.

Her family took me in a year ago
But this distance still divides us
I want to love her like my sister
And just put all of this behind us.

I'll hold my breath till I turn purple
If it means she'll be okay
I can tell she's dreaming of leaving
How do I make her wanna stay?

Do I tell her about her beauty,
From the angles she'll never see?
Or do I tell her she can't go
Because of how bad it would hurt me?

Ah, so perfectly imperfect.
The way she paints the blue skies gray
I want to help her with these rain clouds
But I'm not sure what to say

She has such good intentions,
But this world has taken its toll
It's not fair for her to feel like this,
Bruises veiling her artistic soul

She is such a beautiful creature.
But her mind is tainted and battered
It's been poisoned with morbid books
And her self image has been shattered

I just wanna make her better
With the little bit of me that remains
Tie her flat-lining heart strings up in bows
And pump euphoria thru her hollow veins

If you can't make it on your own
Please just let me be your drug
I know I won't be able to fix you
But my withering body gives good hugs