I used to have small glimpses of myself
I'd look in the mirror quickly in the morning and see her, but she would no longer be there when I went back
and then I'd spend days looking for her
I used to take a picture every once in a while and see her
she wasn't as showy or flashy as her sisters but my God she was so real
but whenever I found her, I got scared
and I would drop her
and she would hide, she didn't trust me
then again she would show up in my reflection, and we'd start over.
but then, for the first time, I met someone
who wanted to meet me
and I mean, me
and I had to look for me
and I was scared but, someone had called for me
so I looked
and I found her
and for once, I didn't feel like I had to leave
I felt welcome
so I stayed
and now I'm all I see when I look in the mirror
and everything has changed
and I still get scared
I still hide, I don't always show up
and people get scared of her, I mean, me, as much as I do
and they hide, they don't always show up
but I'm staying
and that someone, she didn't
she didn't
she left
she saw me
and
she left
because I had left myself before, and she knew
she knew I had dropped myself before
and honestly, when she didn't pick me up
I almost hid again
but I won't
I'm here
I see me
all of me
I'm here
I'm here
I'm staying

Perhaps it's the way your hair curls on its ends,
or your bold honesty, or the way
I feel more real around you.
The way you can be ice cold or warmer than
my morning tea. How could I not like you,
when you make me like everything a little more?
I trust that love isn't what everyone says and
I believe what hurts is its lack. And you've hurt
me but who hasn't? Even I have.
With you I feel in technicolor, and even if
loving and telling is like handing a gun and
trusting not to be shot I say I trust.

Your memory descends
upon me, as morning mist.
Then I wake.